Online dating doesn't work for me

[BlueMilk]

You said something interesting on page 2, that you think women like muscular men who are masculine. Sounds like you do have some self-esteem issues, which can be greatly boosted by working out and building up some of those muscles you think will attract them.

 

Before you do so however just note that it /isn't/ the muscles (at least not for girls over the age of 22) but it is the confidence that comes with it that attracts (there have been incredibly skinny guys with girls after all). If you think having a 'fitter' body is needed then go for it, try it out. You said your skinny so its easier for you to shape up and show more muscles mass, maybe it'll boost up your self-confidence enough to perk you up and attract attention.

[mines]

Hmmmmm I found this thread really late (inside a new thread, lol) In response to your original thread start, OP, I am a white woman, and I ONLY date black men. I don't choose a guy by looks alone, but honestly, I'm just not attracted to white men. I recently joined a forum, about white women who love black men. There is a lot of very interesting discussion there - it is not a dating site - but there is a dating section on the site. Pm me if you're interested in that link.

[Selfdeprivated]

All I know is that I'm either completely ignored or I get an invitation to some goddamn webcam site. Which * * * * ing pisses me off especially on a dating site that I'm already paying for.

[-John-]

Man, I can't believe I started this thread only on April 13. I don't even care about this anymore. I know what I need to do, and I'm doing it. Amazing how someone's mindset can change in such a short period of time.

[penelope13]

would you elaborate a bin on the change of your mindset? would maybe help some other people here on ENA. Hope all works out for you!

[superfox]

And the girl on Facebook blocked me.[\quote]

sorry but that did make me laugh!

Of course, if I looked like Johnny Depp, or was more muscular, all three would have responded quickly and with great enthusiasm, I know that. Just like one of my friends on Facebook, who has pictures of himself flexing his big muscles working out, has a million comments from girls.

 

tbh, i think you're picking on the type of girls who want meatheads. I see some rippling biceps and I'm not thinking future husband material, just a Mr Right(now).

[trezeralietas]

So, I tried samantha's jokes out on three girls. Two on a dating site, and one on Facebook.

 

One girl on the dating site responded once, then stopped. The other didn't respond.

 

And the girl on Facebook blocked me.

 

Personally, if I was one of the girls, I would be extremely weirded out by this approach. It is way too creepy. It reminds me of a guy I dated who a month and half into the relationship started knocking on the wall when we were falling asleep and then proceeded to have a pretend conversation with "our daughter." When I asked what he was doing, he said he liked to pretend that we were married and had children and he was just "playing." Creepy. Needless to say, I broke up with him after I told him it made me uncomfortable and he proceeded to do it a couple more times. Yikers. Telling a girl you already imagined a committed relationship with them when you don't even know them is just awkward and strange. Seriously.

 

Of course, if I looked like Johnny Depp, or was more muscular, all three would have responded quickly and with great enthusiasm, I know that. Just like one of my friends on Facebook, who has pictures of himself flexing his big muscles working out, has a million comments from girls.

 

I send a playful joke, and get blocked.

 

Confidence, humor, etc. -- it's all BS if you look a certain way: not masculine enough. I don't look very masculine, and women want a man who looks masculine so they can feel protected. (They would never admit that out loud, but it's true.)

 

Don't be so quick to generalize all women. I personally prefer men who are not overly muscular and/or broad. Don't get me wrong, muscles and definition are nice, but I don't feel like I need a man to take care of me or make me feel protected. Then again, I am a woman who is 5'9" and I am athletic, so I've never felt particularly threatened by anyone. The creepy guy was a personal trainer and very fit (and good looking), but he was ultimately weird...and he also had trouble getting dates. It had a lot to do with his approach.

[trezeralietas]

What would you respond to?

 

I met my husband on a dating site. I wrote my profile in a way that gave guys hints about my email address if they were clever enough to pick it out. (It was partially so I didn't have to pay the site since I was really only snooping to see who was out there, and partially a weeding-out process so the idiots not bright enough to figure it out would leave me alone.)

 

One thing that really impressed me about my husband is that he did some deductive reasoning and figured that my username just might be the same as my screen name on AIM or some other chat utility. He added me to his chat list and when I came online, he messaged me saying hello, and asked if I was the same girl on the dating site. I thought it was cool that he had figured out a way to get a hold of me and wasn't afraid to approach me. He then asked me how I was and we started just chatting--trading info about ourselves. One thing lead to another and, here we are.

 

Just be polite and direct. Ask a girl questions about herself...people love to talk. Don't get too personal. Be respectful if they say they have to go or want to talk later. Don't say overly creepy things or push yourself on them. Just treat them like you would a new friend with no expectations for it to become more. Make them comfortable.

 

BTW: I have dated a number of black men and an Asian guy and I am white. Race is not a factor at all for me.