stevef20 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I lay in my bed sobbing like a baby wondering if this pain will ever end. Dark thoughts cross my mind as I ponder what there is to go on for, she was after all the reason I woke up happy. Never before have I felt so empty, so helpless and so alone and lost in this world. I've lost my love, my world, my reason for existing. Is there a pain worse than this, I think not. So broken right now. Link to comment
endy Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Give us the story please. Get it all out. Link to comment
Moonchill Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Remember it's a phase. Even though now you can not imagine it. It can end. It will end. Don't let your thoughts fool you into thinking this feeling will last forever. Good luck. I really do feel for you because I know how much it can hurt. I think we all do out here. Link to comment
Di84 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Steve, You know I can related to this 100%! But you are a strong man and you know that. You have not lost your world or reason for existing - that is just your heart and mind playing tricks on you. You know that!!! I can honestly say, I have never felt worse pain in my life than the heartbreak I've felt over the last couple of months. It hurts and it hurts like a b*tch. But let's keep reminding ourselves that WE must be the center of our own world - not the ex. We have to learn to love ourselves the way we loved the ex. You are doing great- 30 days of NC! I can almost bet in another 30 days, you will be feeling much better and will find purpose to life again Link to comment
My3sStillRacing Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 There probably isn't a pain that's worse. Not an emotional one anyway, especially if it's the end of one of your first relationships. I'm not gunna sugar coat it dude. It sucks! You're probably gunna wanna lay in bed and cry all day and smack every single person that tells you it's gunna be ok. But... (you have permission to e-smack me) ... it is going to be ok. Time heals all wounds. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Is there a pain worse than this, I think not. No there isn't ... but please take some comfort in the fact that you can and will get over this. A broken heart can mend just like a broken arm or leg. Unfortunately, unlike a broken ligament, there are no pills or potions we can take to supress the pain in the meantime. We have to take the full force of it. I have been where you are and and I can honestly say that I am now happier than I have ever been. At the time I didn't think I could ever be happy again but I am. You will too one day. Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Hang in there, man. You're passing through a really rough patch right now. Anxiety and panic and feelings of helplessness are part of the process, but just remember, they are only PART of who you are, and your process. You also have strength, resilience, a sense of humor (I've seen it in your other threads). Remember those qualities are in there, in you, even if you don't feel them at the moment. And NOBODY can steal those things from you. Nobody. Another thought: 30 days NC is a big milestone. I've noticed that those milestones churn up all sorts of strong emotions for me. So, just ride the wave. To answer the question, "What's the point?" The point is, we're human, and loving and losing is part of the human condition. If you're lucky, that is. I know people who have NEVER been in love (and I'm no spring chicken -- we're talking about people in their late-40s). One of my friends has never even held hands, or been kissed. Can you imagine? Others have had boyfriends, but never the real deal. And some of them have chosen to give up on ever finding it, and having that awesome experience. Keep in mind that there is not just one special someone in the world for you. There are tons of interesting, attractive, lovable people out there. If you found it once (or more), you'll find it again. Now isn't the time for that -- you need to heal up, get strong, and grow-grow-grow from this experience -- but when the time is right, you will be STRONG from having gone through this. Stay the course. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I know you truly believe that you will never be happy again. I know I didn't believe it when people told me that. But I am living proof that it does get better. Just hang in there and think about all the people that are out there for you to potentially find love with after you've healed. Be glad that you are capable of loving someone and even, as crazy as it seems, that you are capable of feeling this pain. All it means is that you have the potential to love even more. Link to comment
lozzy1980 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 hugs to you steve, i know you have had some pretty tough last few wks.. sorry to see u still in so much pain. it is still early days though, u will get through this. xxx Link to comment
John Deere Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Its making you stronger. Rub some dirt on it. Man up. I know, we all know its miserable but you can contribute to the forum by finding a way out and telling us about it. Thats something. Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 STEVE. GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!! Please man, I've told you this in your other thread. Self-pity will not get you anywhere. I know it sucks man, I'm giving you advice I wish I followed in the early stages of my breakup. Hit the gym, eat lots of protein (hormones=win), go do something fun that is distracting. It'll help SO much, I promise. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Thank-you all for your comments, I will try and take some of it onboard. I've woken this morning feeling very numb, I guess its time for another day from hell. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Guys, I'm sorry for continuing to burden you but I am becoming scared that I'm losing it. I'm sat on my bed dressed for work and am literally shaking, I'm that anxious.I really feel that I'm not going to be able to make it through the day. I'm in such a terrible place right now and just don't know what to do or where to turn. Link to comment
O-shen Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Mate, i hope you made it through today okay. Work is the worst when you feel that pain. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Rock, Thanks m8. At work right now, its really tough holding it together. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Thank-you all for your comments, I will try and take some of it onboard. I've woken this morning feeling very numb, I guess its time for another day from hell. The mornings are definitely the worse, well they were for me anyway. I found that I woke initially feeling bright and cheery then the full force of what had happen would hit me seconds later and it would knock the wind right out of me. However each and every day is step forward and I found that there were mornings when I would wake and think about all the things I had to do that day instead of my ex-husband being my first thought. He had started to preoccupy my mind less and less. That is when you know you have made significant steps forward. It will happen, just be patient with yourself. Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 I'll try blue. Just want this horrible heart ache to stop. Thanks for the post Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 I'll try blue. Just want this horrible heart ache to stop. Thanks for the post Link to comment
John Deere Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 stevef20: do this- reach behind you and touch your back. In the middle. Feel that hard thing? You are not an ameoba or jellyfish. You are a man. You have been insulted as a man. A little anger is good. Keep it channeled but see it and recognize that you have to fight back. You dont have a choice. This can be your life story, good or bad. Rise up FELLA! Link to comment
stevef20 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 I'm trying John. Just failing miserably at the moment, miss her. Link to comment
lozzy1980 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 time to start preoccupying yourself now as others have said, gym or some sort of exercise helps LOTS. i feel crappy but drag myself out for a jog or even a walk if not up to too much and i still feel sad but not so sad... sometimes even a bit happy and positive . or other things watch films, read a book.. you do have to force yourself but it will help. do u live on your own? if so dont spend too much time alone, some time alone is healthy but not too much especially when u feeling so fragile right now. Link to comment
lozzy1980 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 oh and when i first split up and felt like i was losing it i hated reading the above advice! ''read a book go gym blah blah'' i used to mock/// lol.. made it sound like it was so simple to solve. but it isn't and that is why we are all here! but at same time the advice is so annoyingly right!!! Link to comment
MakeItCount Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 oh and when i first split up and felt like i was losing it i hated reading the above advice! ''read a book go gym blah blah'' i used to mock/// lol.. made it sound like it was so simple to solve. but it isn't and that is why we are all here! but at same time the advice is so annoyingly right!!! Haha, so true. The thing is though, the sooner you do things for you, the sooner you start thinking less about her. Example: I used to wake up, first thing on my mind was her. Then, I got back to the gym. Eventually, the thought of her was replaced by GODDAMIT MY ARMS HURT. Then I got up, and went back to the gym for a different muscle group. It's little things like these, like getting really into a great book, that can help. Personally, I don't read. I find other ways to distract myself. Link to comment
samm14 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 I agree lozzy - this is only day 9 for me but the first few day were unbearable....and it still is sometimes. But the thought of getting up and getting dressed and going outside was absolutely unimaginable - thank god I found this place....it truly saved me! Link to comment
twitchyfingers Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Then, I got back to the gym. Eventually, the thought of her was replaced by GODDAMIT MY ARMS HURT. Ha, that made me laugh. I like it! Link to comment
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