i'm still jealous/cant get over betrayal..i need help

[Suzanne1281]

What is wrong with me? I am working so hard on getting over my scumbag ex who cheated on me.

It has just turned out to be a bad day and I just need to write about it.

I was doing really well the past two days. I found out he told my housemate that he works with that he knows what happened with me and him was totally his fault and everyone SHOULD hate him for it..that he screwed it up not me.

And I was at peace a little bit more than the day before.

Then I find out today he took off of work (and he NEVER does) so he can go on a roadtrip to see the girl he cheated on me with play rugby. BOOM I get shot right back to day one of recovering. I just need to vent. I feel like I'm crazy, letting this get to me. It hasnt' been THAT long but why can't I let this go. I want closure sooooo badly. We never had it b/c the day I went to get it from him we ended up hooking up and then he screwed me over again. I should be able to get over him so easily because he is such a d---. I wrote a goobye letter to him the other day (one of those letters you write but dont' send) and that helped a little, but now I think maybe I should send it just to get the closure I need. I don't expect him to write back and I wouldn't read the letter if he did. I know he doens't deserve the letter. He is not worth the 37 cents postage. Help me someone. Please. Should I send the letter? I know it won't change anything about him but maybe it would make me be able to move on? Help

[TearsofaDragon20]

Well it looks like you have a few things that you have to do before letting this get to you. one dont let it get to you and another thing just let the guy go. he's not worth having all this stress over and you going about in a hospital going all crazy. i know that if it was hard to do then thats fine. but it seems that you are just letting it get the best of you. and it shouldnt. so give him the letter (even though he may not be worth the 37 cents postage) but do it so you can get it out of the way and not have anything to do with him. i made peace with my ex after finding out that she dropped me for someone that was worse. so i had gone about and took all the letters that she gave me and dumped them all over her yard and told her to keep them because i dont need them at all. it will take alot for you to do and may even keep you from doing what you have to do but if you dont do it then what will happen? exactly. so get the strenth to go about it the way you need to. take care.

[Lightingbird]

Getting Closure to move on in your life will be difficult.

 

To get to the absolution of ending of a relationship may never come. But most people seek it so that they can turn a shoulder to the bad past and move forward.

 

Sending that letter to him may give you a brief release of letting him know your feelings and wonderment of the last course of the relationship. But it will also allow more pain and grief from the response that he may give you.

 

Accept this...

 

Your relationship did not work out. Think of all the faults that you can admit that you contributed. Work to improve on them for your next relationship. Start looking at tomorrow; don't worry about what happened that was beyond your control. You did your best and that will pay off when you meet that best fit person for you.

 

Next, release him from you completely. Get rid of anything that will remind you of him. Don't allow for any painful thoughts to resurface.

You may never get closure from him, but you can give yourself closure by taking control of your life and moving forward. The road will be hard but you can achieve it.

 

Good luck to you.

[loner82]

I think if you send the letter he will most likely read it and then show it to his new girlfriend thus confirming that you are still not over him and boosting his ego. Don't give him that satisfaction.....you should take things into perspective and realize that he is not worth your time and effort....i know what your going through.....i still butcher myself about my ex and his new girlfriend (whom he was cheating with while with me), I get all sad and sappy just thinking how happy and in love they are but then i have to slap myself and realize that life goes on.....sure I'm lonely but I know in my heart I was faithful and truly loved this person. Just try to become a better person and improve on yourself and I know it's hard to try and not care what he is thinking or doing or saying but you have to move on and in time when you do he will come to realize what he did to you and maybe....just maybe.....in this all too cynical world....he will come to a crossroads and find that he could've had gold but instead he settled for bronze......

[juno]

I think that sending the letter will give to your mind more stuff to continue with your pain, thinking about the response. Well, it may seem impossible now but healing will come with time. U broke up badly and there's little chance to become even friends. Is difficult to trust again when someone is cheated on. The emotional memory is something very powerful.

Give yourself time to recover and dont get involved in another relationship to try to heal. The only relationship u have just now is with yourself. Good luck.

[Quill]

You posted a few days ago asking the exact same question.... should you or shouldn't you send your letter. Don't know what you want to hear to be honest.