Day 10 No Contact. Wow It's Tough

[skynet74]

Never thought my 10 year relationship would end. We were supposed to be married this year. It's rough when an Ex decides she wants to suddenly try something new. relationships can get tedious, a little boring and occasional disagreements are going to happen. I Just never thought the end result would happen to us. Yes I got to comfortable in the situation. probably took her for granted. But not a day went by that I didn't tell her I love you. Not a single day without a hug, a few laughs and a lot of great times. I miss her more then you can imagine. But when an Ex's personality suddenly changes into a cold hearted person that you've never seen before........ it definitely take you by surprise!

 

She said she wanted to be friends. Yet she makes no effort. It could be to help her get over me (or) maybe it could be her trying to see if she will miss me. There are so many assumptions that we can make about what is going through our Ex's head. I guess we'll never really know unless they tell us. All I know is that this No Contact is very difficult. I would love to call and just say Hi. But I realize that it won't get me anywhere. The last few times I've called I just get the "What's Up" treatment. It's as if I'm just some sort of old buddy from school. The woman who once would of done anything for me will now barely acknowledge my existence, thereforeeee I have stopped calling. I don't understand how a person can change so rapidly from hot to cold. But it's happened to all of us.

 

I don't know what my future holds. It's going on three months since we've split up. The first two were pure hell and I'm sure I did not help matters with my begging and pleading asking her to stay. Well I learned my lesson. For the past four weeks I've done nothing but be kind towards her with absolutely no mention of us getting back together. So I hope in the long run it does some good. But in the short run it hurts like hell. I'm hoping that this period of no contact will at least allow her to treat me with some respect when we do talk again.

 

She needed space and I have no choice but to give it to her. Just wanted to let everyone who is using NC know that you are not alone in your agony. You are not alone when you look at the phone and want to call. You are not alone in fighting these urges to stay away. I'm going through it too.

 

Good Luck to us all!

 

 

John

[kate111]

You are doing well JOhn.

 

Resist the temptation to call your ex. There really is no point.

 

Use your time to go outside your comfort zone and do activities that are different and new.

 

Your ex still loves you. She just wants other things in her life right now. The bond you shared will never go away.

 

But who knows whether you will get back together. That is up to her.

 

But for now, say to yourself " I appreciate the years I had with ____" and say "thats over now" try to start a new chapter in your life.

 

 

 

Nothing lasts forever, after all.

[k33]

5 days and I called tonight, no answer no reply. Ugh... NC starts again tomorrow.

 

One day at a time one day at a time.

[skynet74]

You are absolutely correct. There is no point. She knows where I am. She has my number. She can call me. I guess it's kind of comforting to know that I still CAN call her if I want. Neither one of us totally shut the other person out. Last time we talked she ended the conversation with... "I'll talk to you later." So at least we are being civil. However I realize that no progress would be made right now. So I'm just kickin' back and doing my own thing. The Ball is in her court. She can start chasing me now. I'm all chased out for a while. I need a rest.

 

 

 

 

John

[Sizz813]

Trust me don't call her. It will serve no purpose and will probably just push her away more. You even said it in your post, she has your number, she can call you when she is ready to talk. After being on this forum for a couple of months and reading all the posts, I have a total different view on relationships and women in general. Going out and doing other things will help you out alot in getting over it. Also NC is the best thing, because the last thing that you want to happen is ending up talking to her, and just getting hurt more from it. I say f*ck it and just go on and meet up with other people and have fun. Life is too short to dwell and be sad, especially over a girl (no flaming please), I know that sounds really really harsh and I am sorry about that. Its just that I am going through the same thing and I have come to realize and it just isn't worth it sometimes, good luck brother