luvsomeone333 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Well it was mutual but I felt like I was being dumped ... I cried alot for 2 days n when the day came I hardly cried but he cried in front of me ... We tried to stay friends but I slowly decreased my time talking to him and the over time I told him I couldnt be friends with him anymore cause it was hurting me n I told him ill come back when Im ready and he got mad for "breaking a promise to stay friends " ...bull * * * * really ...even though he dumped me and I dumped him for not wanting to be his friend ...its been a month I think ... Before I deleted him from fb I looked at his page one more time n one his status said he was wanting to see me n tell me he belonged to him...so yeah I think he still feels guilt and Im moving on with bigger and better things than him ... I wished him all the best ... Link to comment
Aether Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 The first time last summer was completely out of the blue while we were eating dinner one evening. My initial reaction was, immediately afterwards complete shock, my heart leapt into my throat and I couldn't see or hear anything, as he said the words "I think we should end this" it seemed to come out really slowly...like some kind of strange effect you know? Everything seemed to slow down and I felt almost completely detatched in some way like I was dreaming, it felt so surreal. After that I broke down and I said "I knew I shouldn't have come here!", it felt like the end of the world to me, it's so so hard to describe...I had nothing, I was alone in a foreign country with no friends or family..I just could not get my head around what had just happened. I did actually feel angry after a while as he had made no attempt to talk to me about the possibility of this happening so I felt that I had been treated incredibly unfairly. I lived with him and I had nowhere else to go, the next day I took myself out for a walk and left him on his own for a while and I had a good think, I paddled in the Mediterranean and decided that after all I had sacrificed I was unwilling to accept this as an outcome, I refused to just say "oh okay then" and walk away, I told him this when I returned and left the ball in his court. A few days later he turned to me, took my hand and said "I can't make any promises", at the time I felt that it was all my fault so simply said that I wasn't asking for promises, I was over the moon... When we actually broke up 5 months later things were different. He had made no attempt to make things easier for me and I was left feeling like everything was on my shoulders. When we had "the talk", my intention was not really to break up, this however is what he seemed to want. It seemed "mutual" at the time, but he has since claimed all repsonsibility for the act itself, he dumped me as far as he is concerned and yes, now I do feel that is what happened, I wanted to work on things and have a future with him. The past 4 months have been incredibly hard, the initial 3 weeks post breakup were beyond a nightmare, I couldn't eat, I barely slept, I felt sick constantly and top of it all I had to arrange shipping for everything that I owned there and build my life all over again from scratch. It's easily the hardest situation I've EVER been in. There has been A LOT of tears for me between then and now but now I don't do that anymore. I'm finding some stability at last and his hold on me is starting to ease. Today I'm far from the mess I was but I still have a way to go. Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 When I got dumped, I begged him to stay. And then I called him a lot after because I didn't want to accept the break up. It's pathetic, I know It definitely pushed him away and now all I can do is give him space. It's so hard. I'm on the 9th day of NC, and I've been having dreams of reconciling with him for the last 2 nights Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 I guess I would go by that quote, "If you love them, let them go; if they don't come back, it was never meant to be". I don't really believe in this quote. They don't always have to come back. Sometimes pride gets in the way. Sometimes the dumpee has to step up if it's really worth it... I know I don't want to let him walk out of my life unless I've tried again because I know I'd regret it if I didn't try later on. But that's going to be months later when I've given him space, and I feel ready and emotionally stronger. Link to comment
thewendy Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 When I got dumped, I begged him to stay. And then I called him a lot after because I didn't want to accept the break up. It's pathetic, I know It definitely pushed him away and now all I can do is give him space. It's so hard. I'm on the 9th day of NC, and I've been having dreams of reconciling with him for the last 2 nights I did the same. They say it gets easier. I have yet to get there. Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 gumiibear i also have been dumped by my bf - currently NC day 6. Have you done NC with him before ever? or has he to you? if so how long for and who went back to who? Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 he thing is it is only natural that when you love someone or something that you wouldn't want to lose it - accepting gracefully is not a natural reaction, i text all day every day for the first 5 days, saw him on the 6 day where he said it was def over, text him on 7 day, then went NC and its been that way for 6 days today Link to comment
runa Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 I moved back to my country too thinking the distance will make me forget him.I was so wrong. Now I have no job no money and very slim chances of rebuilding my life as an independent woman I was before Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 gumiibear i also have been dumped by my bf - currently NC day 6. Have you done NC with him before ever? or has he to you? if so how long for and who went back to who? Aw, I'm sorry to hear about the break up! I've TRIED doing NC with him before, but the longest I did it was two weeks until I broke down and contacted him again. The problem with our relationship was that I was really needy and he wanted me to be more independent. We spoke for the last time on the phone about a week ago, and basically said goodbye to our previous relationship... I have to accept that the past is over, so that I can get myself into the right mindset for the future. Now I'm restarting NC, and today is the 9th day. Yeah, it is definitely hard to let them go, but I like to think that there's still a chance. It just takes time, strength, and positivity If you can be strong now, maybe things will fall into place in the future when you've both healed and have given each other space Link to comment
Aether Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 I moved back to my country too thinking the distance will make me forget him.I was so wrong. Now I have no job no money and very slim chances of rebuilding my life as an independent woman I was before Same for me Link to comment
Sunshine7 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 gumiibear - i wish you lots of luck and hope we can both be strong during this time and find happiness in the end of our journey x Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Sunshine7- Thank you, I wish you the very best Link to comment
deecbee Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 In the past, my reaction with this guy was always knee-jerk. I would first get really angry, call him out, act crazy... then apologize and say I was moving on... then a few days later start lamenting the loss and texting him that it was a mistake, I miss him, blah blah blah. Repeat each of those 3 phases again. This time I just shrugged my shoulders. Admitted I was hurt and disappointed, but thanked him for being honest and said I needed closure. Blocked his number. Going for 100 days. Wish me luck, I always seem to fail at the 7 day mark. Link to comment
BJM91 Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 I walked away, didn't beg/plead just walked away, she tried pulling me back but I just kept going.. That was 5 weeks ago. She text me asking if I was okay and asked if wanted her to drop some things off a week after the break up I replied "Yeah thats fine" she still hasn't lol, 4 weeks go by, she texted me Sunday wishing me happy birthday I reply "thankyou (her name) and that is all. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 28, 2011 Author Share Posted March 28, 2011 I walked away, didn't beg/plead just walked away, she tried pulling me back but I just kept going.. That was 5 weeks ago. She text me asking if I was okay and asked if wanted her to drop some things off a week after the break up I replied "Yeah thats fine" she still hasn't lol, 4 weeks go by, she texted me Sunday wishing me happy birthday I reply "thankyou (her name) and that is all. What were you really feeling though? That seems a lot like the reaction my ex had and I was never able to figure it out so it would be nice to know. You know how we always (well at least I do) want to know what the Ex feels. He texted me he missed me and loved me afterwards but face to face, he acted what seemed to come off as "cold" and non-caring (kind of like what you explained). Link to comment
BJM91 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Well honestly, I was crushed and confused, it all came out of the blue no signs anything. I just tried to act as brave as I could. Link to comment
Tryptophan Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Well honestly, I was crushed and confused, it all came out of the blue no signs anything. I just tried to act as brave as I could. Even though it comes off as cold an uncaring, I think holding it back just means you're strong enough to let go but at the same time you must be going through a lot emotionally since you didn't really "release" the emotions. Link to comment
BJM91 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 "To truly love is to have the courage to walk away and let the other person who wishes to be free go no matter how much it hurts." She wanted to be free so I let her go, ofcourse it hurts like hell, maybe she'll realise what she threw away who knows? Only time will tell. But I don't cling to that, I'm 100% focused on moving on. I don't need her to be happy time heals everything. Link to comment
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