Destiny2112 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 My ex's birthday lies ahead on Monday 21st and I know, instead of spending that day with me, like he used to in the past 3 years, his new gf will be with him and of course he won't be spending a single thought on me... Of course, I'll stick to NC ... but I know, I'll be thinking of him a lot on that day and that it's probably going to hurt more again...Ahhh, I just wished, I could forget him and that my feelings for him vanished completely....why can't I just stop loving him???? I'm planning to stay as busy as possible on Monday... after my lessons at university, I'll have nice lunch, afterwards I'll go for swimming with a friend and in the evening we will go to the cinema... still I'm dreading that day Can anyone relate to the way I feel? What helped you to get over that day?? Link to comment
Reilly2856 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 The best thing you can do is to keep busy, which you are already smart enough to have figured out. The less you allow your mind to be idle, the less you will think of him. I would also suggest that you hang out with your friends today...not to talk about him, mind you. But if you surround yourself with people, then you will be more likely to stay distracted (i.e., as they will talk about their stuff, you'll do fun activities together, etc) and less likely to think about him. Just continue to stay strong and don't give into thoughts of him. They will come...you won't be able to fight all of them away...but the trick is to let them come and then leave your mind. You let them come...acknowledge them...and release them from your mind. The more you stay resistant, the more you will think of him. I know you can't be with him on his birthday, but there is a reason you guys didn't work out. He'll be having fun tonight...no reason that you can't make a fun day out of today either. Stay strong! Link to comment
TidalWave Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 What helped you to get over that day?? You need something more powerful than the relationship you had with him. Watch this, story similar to yours starts somewhere in the middle of this part, but I suggest you watch it from the beginning to get the hold of the story And if it doesn't help you, at least it might entertain you. Link to comment
Live-N-Learn Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 I know how birthdays bring so many memories. My ex's bday is Thursday...I am really happy that I will be out of town and busy. She will also be with her new guy having fun. It's her life now and not part of mine. I can't believe there is a part of me that wants to wish her the best, but I won't. Link to comment
damagedatbest Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Destiny yours and my story have been so similar. I have related to so much of how you've felt. My ex's birthday was in January. I dreaded the day coming. Days before, I really thought about him and got so sad. I just knew that day would be so hard but you know what? When that day actually came, it really wasnt bad. It was just another day. In fact, parts of the day, I was busy and didnt even remember that it was his birthday. I think dreading it and the knowing that its coming is actually worse than the actual day. I remember saying a prayer for him on that day. In it, I wished him well and that I hope that he's truly happy and blessed with the choices he made. Wish him well in your thoughts and prayers and eventually, you'll mean it. Link to comment
dyna Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 If you want to forget the day replace it with something significant to you and only you do something that you have always wanted to that you couldn't when you was with him then that should help overwrite the memory of that day Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 You need something more powerful than the relationship you had with him. Watch this, story similar to yours starts somewhere in the middle of this part, but I suggest you watch it from the beginning to get the hold of the story And if it doesn't help you, at least it might entertain you. ] Haha, thanks for that link, it made me smile! I watched the whole video and found it very entertaining Indeed, it's similar to my own story! Maybe I'll find my name on the list, too, after finishing my bar exam end of this year?! Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 Destiny yours and my story have been so similar. I have related to so much of how you've felt. My ex's birthday was in January. I dreaded the day coming. Days before, I really thought about him and got so sad. I just knew that day would be so hard but you know what? When that day actually came, it really wasnt bad. It was just another day. In fact, parts of the day, I was busy and didnt even remember that it was his birthday. I think dreading it and the knowing that its coming is actually worse than the actual day. I remember saying a prayer for him on that day. In it, I wished him well and that I hope that he's truly happy and blessed with the choices he made. Wish him well in your thoughts and prayers and eventually, you'll mean it. Thanks for your nice post and for being there for me! It's always helping me to know, I'm not alone and that there are others, who can really relate to how I feel, since they had to experience something similar unfortunately! Probably you are right, the day itself won't be that bad hopefully, but these days now, shortly before his bday aren't that easy, since I'm thinking of him more often again...what he is doing, how he is, if he is thinking of me, too, at least sometimes and stuff like that... the last weeks I have been doing better...but lately... You are right, I'll be thinking of him on Monday and I'll truly wish him the best and slowly slowly I'm starting to mean it. I know, he never intended to hurt me on purpose and he just did what felt right for him in order to be happy again- unfortunately the sideeffect was hurting me and breaking my heart...but that is how life is and how break- ups work... at least one gets hurt by the choice of the other walking away.... although it was selfish and not the nicest way he behaved towards me, when he left, I don't hate him or anything. I think, he didn't know any better and we are all only humans, who make mistakes and I'm forgiving him...it belongs to the past, to yesterday and I don't want to let the past influence my present anymore... I did that long enough... I truly hope, he is happy with his choice and that it was right for him... He deserves to be happy, everyone does.... Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 Thanks for your nice words! You are right, I can make Monday a special day for myself as well... not only he can have a great time, but me, too No, I'll tell my friends that on Monday, it's not allowed to mention his name... it's going to be MY day and about my friends and me having a good time... and hopefully I'll be busy and distracted enough not to think of him too much....or at least not to get too sad... Thanks again!!! Link to comment
Destiny2112 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 I know how birthdays bring so many memories. My ex's bday is Thursday...I am really happy that I will be out of town and busy. She will also be with her new guy having fun. It's her life now and not part of mine. I can't believe there is a part of me that wants to wish her the best, but I won't. Yes, it will bring memories, I think, we can't avoid that, unfortunately... But I'm trying my best to live in the present and in the here and now...I'm tired of living in the past... it was great, probably the best time in my life that I had so far...but it's over unfortunately... and since he had moved on long ago, we have to try to do the same...we can find happiness again, as well...I hope keeping myself busy will work... Anyways, I'll be happy when that day is over and I think of him less again... Link to comment
steffiesmith12 Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I know you can't be with him on his birthday, but there is a reason you guys didn't work out. He'll be having fun tonight...no reason that you can't make a fun day out of today either. Stay strong. Link to comment
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