Getting Too Attached

[cbh1979]

So, I have a tendency to get too attached to people, I think. It's not like I have an issue with being alone...I can go to the movies by myself, that sort of thing, just fine. It's just, when a good friendship gets going it means a great deal to me, and I get used to things so much that I miss them a lotwhen things change.

 

Recently, a close friend of mine hasn't been able to talk or hang out as much. We used to email throughout the day, back and forth, her usually initiating it, but her job has gotten busier and they're being monitored more closely, so she hasn't been able to email much at all. Her evenings have been busier too, and she's kinda sorta started seeing someone, meaning she's had less time to talk or do things with me. I miss it, though, and have been emailing much more, afraid that we're going to lose touch.

 

Anyway, I'm afraid I've become too attached. My Mom recently passed away, too, and I think that's made it worse...I need others now more than ever, but they can't always be there how they used to be. Any suggestions? I don't want to push my friend away, but I feel a need to send that email because I NEED to talk to her. How do I break out of that?

[renaissancewoman101]

Hey, you remind me of myself. I get like the way you do when people pull away from me (because they are busy or whatnot), and it really doesn't have anything to do with me. I get worried that I offended them and then I beat myself up over it. I am actively trying not to do that now since it is very emotionally draining.

 

Best way is to have other friends and activities that you can do that you are not burdening one friend excessively.

[Sideways]

In your situation, I would spend more time with family. Maybe they need you to be there, just like you feel you need your friend's support. Also I don't think e-mailing your friend would push her away. Something important has happened and I feel like your friend, even if she is busy, would want to be there for you.