Need some encouragement and some advise.

[tmills0011607306452]

Well, I'm sure a few of you have been following my posts lately. My Ex and I have been talking to each other again. I had gone to dinner with her a few times and each time we had to say good-by she would give me a very passionate hug and she would lightly kiss my neck.

 

But here's the confusing part.

 

She wants to take things slowly! Friends first, then whatever comes along later.

 

I know she wants to hang out with her friends, but it seems that she wants to hang out with me a few times a week as well.

 

She knows I love her, and she also found out a few things that I could tell that made her heart knudge a little in my direction (Like when I moved out, I paid all of the money to break the lease, and paid all of the bills just to get a clean break.)

 

So here's the deal. Do I make myself scares? Like don't call her (Or never answer her calls) Kind of make myself a mystery again for a while?

 

Any help will be greatly appreciated, since I have a chance that I do not want to screw up.

[Gilgamesh]

Hi Tim

 

I wouldnt avoid her calls, at this point let her make the pace, If she calls and wants to go out, then do it, but dont call her out. let her do the chasing.

 

Now if you really cant make a date, tell her oh I wont be able to make it friday, how about Saturday? always give another option that way it shows your interested in her and not blowing her off, but at the same time shows she is not the center of your universe.

[paul475]

...don't play games when you have strong feelings for someone. Shower the People you love with love, and show them the way that you feel.

 

If they squirm or become uncomfortable, they're not able to be honest. Yet. If they need mystery, you can play games later on on a level playing field where everyone knows who's going home with whom and there's no real danger of one person, "getting over," or grifting, somebody else.

 

Politeness and consideration are very important, especially early on, in a relationship. And that needs to go in both directions. Keep your brain engaged and keep asking YOURSELF the hard questions.

 

You're doing an excellent job of keeping YOUR SIDE of the street clean. Keep it that way. That's something that will keep you warm and fuzzy on cold, stormy days. It means you have solid self esteem and are working to keep it that way.

 

Don't get hooked into anyone, "special," until you've both invested heavily into the "breakfast" of the relationship. If you keep putting up the bacon and she keeps providing the eggs, then somebody is playing chicken.

 

Love, contrary to popular media, is not about lust and romance, it's about commitment and partnership, so don't let a chicken take you for a ride. You'll both get pulled over and it will be YOU who gets ticketed for allowing a chicken to drive your vehicle.

 

Your life is a helluva long ride and it's just alot more fun when you learn to let go with love and let people do what it is that they're gonna do.

 

People leave, people die -- both of those things happen as a matter of nature and life on life's terms -- so what does it mean to me when either of those things are not okay with me? Shouldn't they be okay if I am a part of life and want to live in it?

 

You will NEVER go wrong telling someone the truth about how good you feel when you are around them. If that just bursts their bubble or their balloon, they're still playing games. Piss on it. Life is in session. Take no prisoners and learn from every single interaction in your life every single day. When you do this, you will never fail. Those who never fail have very good lives.

 

Stay in the saddle and keep your guns loaded.

[Sorrowful Tears]

I dont think you should try to cut off communication to try and get her back. My ex and I still hang out too and are sometimes close. For a while there I had been calling him everyday and I guess making a pest of myself so dont try and make too much communication either. Ive stopped calling my ex all the time and now things seem a little better between us but we do still see each other. I think if you stop seeing each other and you cut off communication then what the hell is the point in trying to get them back? A lot people say try to act like you're not interested and then they'll come running back but there are a lot of people out there that would take that at face value and thereforeeeeeee forget about you but for real. Just go somewhere in between. Communication but not too much. Good luck.