I made a decision to tell her... VERY long...

[Trustworthy65]

The weekend of July 24th, I traveled to help a friend move into her new home. I have always had a deep attraction to her and and finally decided to share my feelings with her..

 

I met her when we were both in high school. We have kept in touch for the last 21 years. Our relationship had always been a little frustrating for me, as I wanted to be with her, but never seemed to have the right timing..

 

approximately 14 years ago, she moved to a new city and I kept in touch over the years, and no matter how many times we lost contact, we always get in touch and pick up where we left off..

 

She and I both married and divorced, me once and her twice. We are now 39 and 37 respectively

 

Anyway, we are both divorced. Recently she called and we attended a concert together. and as always, we talked, joked, and generally had a great time together.

 

I promised to come up and help her move in a few weeks, and that was this past weekend (July 24th)..

 

Spending so much time together, caused me to realize how right it felt being with her..

 

As we talked, I decided that I was not gonna let this opportunity pass without telling her how I felt, and I brought up how my daughter and best friends have told me we should be together..

 

she said, that other friends have told her the same thing,

especially her best friend K****.. when she said that, I mentioned that maybe they knew something we didn't.. she agreed that maybe....

 

a few minutes later, I said, "you know, I have to add myself to the list..."

 

She asked, "What list.."

 

I replied , that "I think we should be together too..."

 

she was visibly touched by my comment, and I went on to explain how I felt, and that I felt that our friendship of over 20 years was something that I believe could withstand anything, and that I wanted to be with her...

 

I said to her that I have always adored her and that she deserved to be treated like a lady..

 

I held her hand briefly and we sat there silent for a few minutes.. Man let me tell you how great it felt to touch her, and have her know what it meant to me..!!

 

We both felt a little awkward after that, but it was a nice awkward, filled with possibilities for the future. I told her that I would let her decide when we moved ahead with our feelings (After 20+ years, there is no need to rush the process now..)

 

I stayed over to rest before driving home the next morning, and as I said goodnight to her, we held each other and it was very nice to just enjoy the feeling of holding her.. then I kissed her goodnight and she went to her bedroom leaving me in the guest room, next to her son's room..

 

Sunday morning we made small talk as we looked out her kitchen door to the deck behind the new house.. and she sat on my lap for a few minutes with her arm around me...

 

We are pllanning to get together in a couple weeks, taking our kids to Six Flags.. I sent her a dozen roses this evening to be delivered tomorrow sometime, teling her that I am proud of her and congrats on the new house, and that I was thinking of her...

 

I hope that the positive signals I was getting after I admitted my feeling are mutual and I am on my way to a wonderful relationship..

 

After so many years and 3 failed marriages between us, I felt it was ther right time to admit how deeply I felt for her, and I did not want to take a chance that she would get involved in another relationship before we spoke again..

 

What I need is either advice, or well wishes to help decide what to next, even if that is to wait till she responds to the roses.. (they have a significance, because I bought her the first dozen roses she ever received 18 years ago..) The roses arrived on Tuesday afternoon, but she never even called to thank me...

 

...And then I could not stand it and called on Thursday, July 29th..

 

She was very tired.. She thanked me for the roses, and said they were beautiful..

 

We talked a little, but as tired as she was, she wasn't really talkative..

 

I asked her if I had made a mistake telling her how I felt, and she said no, but I noticed that she paused before every response, I told her her friendship is precious to me, and that I would rather have her in my life as a friend, than not at all.

 

I guess I have to be patient hope it goes my way, and see where we are in a few weeks.. and Above all, make sure she knows that the friendship is NEVER in jeopardy, no matter what she decides..

 

I have no plans to call again for a while, because I am concerned that I ruined not only my chance at a relationship with her, but damaged the friendship... At some point though, I need to call, because we have plans to go to six flags with our children..

 

I really just need to sit down face to face with her and talk about how she feels. I am just wondering if I have a chance in hell...!

 

Please help..

 

Thanks,

Dave

[JuJu]

Dave, I'm not really sure what you were asking help on...but I'm sure everything will be fine and work out, even if it only works out for you to just be friends. I don't think the friendship has a chance of ending because it has lasted over so many years. Maybe she just needs some time to think things through. Just hang in there! And Good Luck!

[ForAnother]

Although I am a young reader, judging from the situation, I would probably say to simply wait. The more you call its the more you crowd her space (I believe you mentioned this anyways, just thought I would reinforce it.) She is afraid I bet from her past experiences, so she has a lot on her mind.

 

Have you asked her if there was someone else in her life that she was thinking about or anything upon that? because perhaps she secretly has a fancy for some guy.

 

I think you have done the right stuff, just let it settle on her.

 

Hope my young advice helps any,

 

ForAnother

[Scout]

At the risk of sounding like a gushing idiot - WHAT A ROMANTIC STORY!! I thought what you said about adding yourself to the list of people who think you should be together was so incredibly cool & sweet. I hope things work out for you both! I bet you would be awesome for her. Just keep the lines of communication OPEN, and understand that the transition from friends to lovers may not be the smoothest one, but keep your confidence up - I bet she just needs reassurance.

 

Best of luck!!!

[Trustworthy65]

At the risk of sounding like a gushing idiot - WHAT A ROMANTIC STORY!! I thought what you said about adding yourself to the list of people who think you should be together was so incredibly cool & sweet. I hope things work out for you both! I bet you would be awesome for her. Just keep the lines of communication OPEN, and understand that the transition from friends to lovers may not be the smoothest one, but keep your confidence up - I bet she just needs reassurance.

 

Best of luck!!!

 

At the risk or BEING that gushing idiot, I had to really get up the nerve to tell her how I felt.. the situation was perfect, and over the years, we have always been affectionate..

 

As we were driving back to her new house that night, Let me tell you my voice was shaking and I swear I started to tear up a little.. Once I said it and got it out, this huge burst of confidence took over and I really felt like I could reach up and take the stars outta the sky for her... I had this incredible sense of calm and purpose come over me, and I just knew it was the right time to confess my feelings..

 

I know she has a LOT going on, with the new house, and working full time with 2 children at home, and no-one to help out, so I sure its just gonna take time to work itself out..

 

I strongly believe that things happen as they are meant to.. I got married and adopted my wife's daughter because I was meant to be her daddy..

The marriage did not last because I was not meant to be with her..

and now I feel that I am meant to be with Laura, and I have to believe that it will happen in its own time...

 

It is hard not to be able to hold her and touch her face, but patience will ultimately pay off I hope...

 

Thanks for the reply..

 

Dave

[YNP8112]

Even though it might seem like a rollercoaster of emotions right now i'm sure everything will work out in the end for you guys. I would call her and start talking about the six flags trip. Don't break off communication. Maybe she just needed some time to think about how it would work out between you too. Even if it doesn't work out at least you know you will still have a great friend who cares for you (even though i bet it will work out

[Trustworthy65]

Mach5pa,

 

I am pretty confident that it will work out, I just don't want to invade her space.. I plan on calling her to discuss the trip to Six Flags sometime next week or so... If the trip does happen, I am planning to not mention anything regarding *us*, instead, just enjoying the day with my dearest friend.. I think it would be wise to let her bring it up... and then just be honest with her and make sure she knows that I am being genuine..

 

She said something as we were talking about an *us* about being scared.. I get the feeling that this could be the love of my life, and honestly it scares the hell out of me as well.. I am absolutely sure of my feelings, just taking the first step is really scary..

 

Thanks for the kind words friend, I appreciate the moral support..

 

Dave

[Scout]

Will someone please pass me a hanky...I'm overcome by how romantic this is!! Please do keep up a confident, happy outlook...I know it will help to go a long way in alleviating her fears/concerns, which are only natural.

[Trustworthy65]

thanks for the sentiment.. I have always been a romantic.. I am trying to be sensitive to her feelings..

 

It is REALLY hard to sit back and wait for this to work itself out..

 

Dave

[ForAnother]

I agree waiting is certaintly the most painful thing to do in relationship issues.

 

ForAnother

[Trustworthy65]

Everyone,

 

I just got a call from Laura..!! She called and said she was thinking of me and we talked for about 30 minutes..

 

We discussed the trip to Six Flags, and we are get the plans together..

 

The patience that I was struggling to maintain, paid off... She was VERY talkative, just like always, and there was that same old easiness we've always had..!!

 

I let her do the talking, and she was telling me about how she has been attending a women's prayer group since she moved up to that area 2 years ago (she lived in the neighboring town, until she divorced in 2002) and how they were counseling her to be true to her feelings, etc..

 

She said that one of the things they have been helping her with is evaluating the people in her life, and how they fit, etc..

 

She says its a very empowering thing for her, and she is growing as a person as a result..

 

I think it was her way of seeing how i would react to her calling.. I played it really calm, and never even mentioned my feelings..

 

In the other thread, Toni suggested as Scout did and others that I let her initiate any discussions of *us*.. so I am following that advice

 

I feel like I could walk on air right now.. all the fears that I as having are pretty much gone..

 

I have you all to thank for the great advice and the shoulders to lean on..

 

I will keep posting to let you the good things as they happen

THANK YOU...

 

Dave

 

Dave

[ForAnother]

Congrats!!!!

 

Glad it worked out.. very rare to hear that it does.

 

ForAnother

[Cassie]

*cries into a tissue* Your story was so romantic. I will keep you and Laura in my thoughts, and hope everything will work out for you both. Thank you for sharing, and please keep us up to date.