Allyo Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 With the guy that I am seeing everything seems to be going well so far. I have been seeing him since the end of December. Yet every time we see each other or are out on a date while he seems to very casually mention seeing each other again, he always refrains from setting up a specific date or time. While he says "oh we'll see each other next week", etc., the specific place or time he always comes up with last minute, or really like no more than a day in advance. It confuses me that I feel like he is open to planning stuff and to continue seeing me... yet he doesn't seem to want to plan anything too much ahead of time. How should I interpret this...? Link to comment
Allyo Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 I also know that we have only been seeing each other two months. But in a way, almost all my relationships have started without formal dating. So I am really lost on what sort of dating behavior is normal! Link to comment
OkComputer Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 I'm interested in what the normal dating protocol is myself. I mention to meet up but don't have a date or event in mind yet ...What do you prefer? That a new date is arranged at the end of the current one, so that you have more notice? Link to comment
Halflife Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Leaving it literally 1 day in advance is maybe a little unfair on you unless he's indicated it's a likelihood earlier on in the week but I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign of anything. I don't like to make firm plans at the end of the date because I like to give the both of us a breather with time to reflect on how we feel but I will show interest in doing it again. Then if, for example, the date is on Saturday, I would maybe ring on Thursday to check they were available and organise it then. Sometimes I leave it till the day before if I'm fairly sure the person will be free. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 what happens if he says, "let's go out tomorrow" but you already have plans? do you drop those plans or do you tell him that you are busy and it needs to be a different day? I think if you have a sufficiently full life, not everytime he asks you on a date for the next day will you be able to go. Link to comment
Allyo Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Good question... I'm not sure what I prefer, but sometimes I don't like the feeling that his schedule is more important than mine. Although to be fair, he is a fairly busy professional. Link to comment
Allyo Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 what happens if he says, "let's go out tomorrow" but you already have plans? do you drop those plans or do you tell him that you are busy and it needs to be a different day? I think if you have a sufficiently full life, not everytime he asks you on a date for the next day will you be able to go. Well I guess this has never happened yet, as I have not happened to have other plans when he has asked me out. Especially since we have only seen each other once or twice a week up until this point. Last Friday evening we saw each other. We have been saying for a while now that we are going to do a beach trip. I told him I could only go after Monday, since I have to turn in a project that day. He told me he could only go the following day (Saturday), and then he rattled off a list of reasons why he would be busy for the following week and a half.... Link to comment
Allyo Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Leaving it literally 1 day in advance is maybe a little unfair on you unless he's indicated it's a likelihood earlier on in the week but I don't think it's necessarily a bad sign of anything. I don't like to make firm plans at the end of the date because I like to give the both of us a breather with time to reflect on how we feel but I will show interest in doing it again. Then if, for example, the date is on Saturday, I would maybe ring on Thursday to check they were available and organise it then. Sometimes I leave it till the day before if I'm fairly sure the person will be free. This makes me feel a little better... Although I agree one day is not much notice I think it only bothers me now that I am starting to fall for him. Sometimes the uncertainty just kills me! Haha... but I know I have to accept that as part of the process... Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 I don't like planning next date while I'm on one. Scheduling feels like work to me, and I like to keep the play time as play time. I enjoy generalizing, though, but then following up to solidify it. Next time he generalizes, tell him that it's hard for you to plan other stuff around something that's loose--so would he mind ringing you tomorrow to firm this up? CongrAts on the great guy! Link to comment
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