like her and its killing me

[couldbeme86]

okay theres this girl that i like. ive liked her for a while now and she knows. i want to ask her out but im afraid of what might happen cuz im really good friends with her. its killing me to see her every day and not tell her how i feel. ive even asked some of my friends if i should ask her out and some of them told me not to because it might screw everything up. i dont want to lose her because of this. but i really have feeling for her and i want to see if it would work out, even though i kinda know i might not. a lot of my friends said they can tell i have strong feelings for her but they dont think she has them for me. i want to find out if she does with out screwing up our relationship. should i ask her out or not?

[KingJon]

I've been in pretty much the same situation as you for months, over a year really, right up until today. Tonight I did something about it, I told here how I feel and I wish I could encorage you by saying how well it went but I can't. She was left pretty much speechless, and I don't know how she'll ultimately deal with it, but I don't think it has ruined our friendship, even if it makes things awkward for a while. Then again everybody's situation is intricately different. Believe me friend, I know how much it hurts to be in a situation like yours, but I also know that the hurt of rejection is better. That at least goes away, but what your suffering from now won't go away until you confront it, until its dealt with. Don't worry about what your friends tell you to do. This is between you and her it doesn't matter what they think. Trust in your self in your own feelings and instincts. Above all I encourage you to let your actions be dictated by your dreams instead of your fears. It will be hard but in the end its just a much healthier way to live.

[Araxoth]

The girl I'm going out with was a friend to me for months, before I asked her out via email. That was 3 months ago, and all is still going smoothly. You can't generalise with situations like this.

[brandos lovechild]

hiya couldb . guys never seem to realise that actions speak louder than words. if a girl is gonna be hit on, theyd rather it came through humour and laughter and then subtle hints than .." YOU ARE A REALLY NICE GIRL,SO WILL U GO OUT WITH ME ON A DATE PLEASE". that only worx in movies pal. girls do the choosing.and should do the chasing,but dont.

[toolgirl150]

Your situation sounds identical to the one I replied to. As I said to him, are you enjoying your current friendship that much? Do you like seeing her with other guys? My guess is no. Anybody is is even moderatly mature about life isn't going to end the friendship just because of that. Plus you don't have to get down on bended knee and profess your undying love.

 

Take it slow - test the waters. Ask her out to something kind of casual, movie, whatever, something simple. She how she responds.

 

I don't know about you, but I personally couldn't live my whole life holding a torch for someone without finding out. Yeah, she may panic and run - but what about the opposite? She may go for it. Life isn't worth living if you never take chances. And please - don't get suckered into "women are all like..." or "men are all like...".

 

Good luck and grab the bull by the horns. I for one, appreciate and find my self attracted to a man who seems secure and knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it....

 

[couldbeme86]

thanks for all the help guys and girls. but i kinda forgot to mention one key thing in my first note. i happen to be bi and a girl and the girl i have a crush on is also bi. thats part of the reason im so afraid to say something. also we are in a band together and her and a few more of our members keep making a big deal about "in band dating". see two of our members are dating and now everyones afraid of whats going to happen if they break up. and our lead singer and the one i like want to kick the guy out for that and a few more reasons. i still want to ask her out but i dont want to leave the band if something happens. damn hanging out with guys all my life is starting to effect my thoughts. i think to much like a guy some times. anyways, should i still ask her out to see what shell say or should i just hide in a corner and act like nothings wrong? either way im gonna be depressed and want to kill my self. if any of you think you can help me please help.thanks everyone. later. bye

rc

[toolgirl150]

Oh, I'm sorry for assuming you were a guy. My mistake

 

Anyway - I still stick to my guns. Yeah "office romances" are often risky. But sometimes they work. I still would have difficulty just shutting up and never saying anything.

 

Obviously the final say is yours. Its tricky...

[couldbeme86]

hey toolgirl the whole you thinking im a guy is cool. its my fault. i should have mentiond im a girl.

 

thanks for the help.im really trying to dicide if i want to tell her. her and me are going to a concert next week together. im trying to think should i tell her after the concert. i dont want her to be mad at me or feel weird being with me while we're at the concert. but im not sure if i can go another four days of talking to her and seeing her with out her knowing. should i wait until after? if i wait then im gonna tell her right after the concert before we go home. thats only if i tell her. it took me a week before I actually told her i liked her. but i wasnt sure what was going on at the time, sooo....also i dont know how im gonna tell her. i dont have any ***ing clue what to say to her. i always freeze up when i try to say anything about my feelings for her to her. i wish this was easier. it would make my life a lot better and easier. but life sucks.

 

if anyone can help me by telling me what the hell im supost to say to her, please help.thanks people. later. bye. 8)

rc

[toolgirl150]

This may sound goofy as heck but in your gut - you will know when the time is right.

 

You know what I do? Think about cool things that I might have seen on TV (I'm a big buffy the vampire slayer fan - as you can tell - and I'm always ripping off lines from that show) Something that definitely gets your point accross - but still something fun, light and not too heavy.

 

Above all - appear confident - confidence is very sexy.

 

Good luck and let us know what happens.

 

By the way, I'm bi too - a bit older - but I know what your going through.

 

 

 

Lauren

[couldbeme86]

thats good advice, but the only problem is both her and i watch the exact same shows so i cant really use lines from shows. but i wish we didnt or else i would try that. thanks for the help and i hope i will know when to say something to her. but im still not sure about what to say to her and how to say it.

 

also im a big buffy fan too.sucks that the shows getting cut though.

 

thanks for everything.later.

r c