Don't know what to tell him if he asks

[lil23lilg]

How would you feel if your boyfriend is going to a water park and you know know he's going to be cheching out other girls?

[lil23lilg]

My boyfriend asked me if he can go to a waterpark with the guys, but I dont know what to tell him. I feel like I have to tell him yes but deep inside I dont like the fact that he could be checking out other girls. That makes me feel as if he wants someone else.

[under_the_pressure]

Hm....I would probably let him go. Because if you say no it'll probably make him mad and cause problems. He might check out other girls but maybe not. And if I was you I'd be like well can i go to the beach with my girl friends sometime. Just something like that, and see his response. Good Luck!

 

 

 

under

[parisian_pink]

I think that the basis of any healthy relationship is trust. You absolutely HAVE to trust your partner unless they give you a significant reason not to. I hardly think that going to a public area where there may be other girls qualifies as a significant reason not to trust him. I see SO MANY posts like yours, and they all drive me nuts. If it's open, obvious flirtation in front of you, that's one thing, but come on, let's look at it this way: if your bf didn't want to date you, or he would rather date someone else, he wouldn't be with you. And if he wanted to do something sneaky and inappropriate, he wouldn't ASK you if it's ok for him to go.

 

If you are worried that he may want to stray, remember this little tactic. It works great in parenting scenarios, and it also works when dating (as boyfriends and toddlers aren't much different, are they?): If parents tell you you CAN'T go to a certain movie, CAN'T wear a certain mini-skirt, CAN'T dye your hair hot pink, they learn that it only makes you resent them and drive you to it, especially when, for example, they don't want you to go to a party where they think you might drink, or they don't want you to date a guy named Cobra. In these instances, telling you that they don't trust you or you aren't grown-up enough to do it will just make you want to rebel. However, if your dorky mom says, "Oh boy, parties are so much fun aren't they?! I think it's a lovely idea, and because you've proven yourself to be so mature and trustworthy, I think you should go and have a great time!" Well then, you would feel pretty guilty betraying her trust and getting wasted, right? Or if your loser dad said, "Oh I think it's great that you are dating this Cobra fellow. Let's have him over for dinner!" You may want to break up with Cobra right then and there.

 

I guess my point is, don't tell your boyfriend that you don't want him to go. Especially if he really WAS just going to chill with his buddies, he'll get pretty mad that you are acting like his ball and chain. I would first of all try to trust him. Unless he cheats on you every two minutes, I don't think that this water park thing is a big danger. And then say, "Oh, yeah, that sounds like a blast. I wish I could go, but I understand that you and the guys need a little time alone together, and I don't want to get in the way of that. I want you to go have lots of fun with them."

 

Two things will come of this: he may invite you along, in which case you have no reason to worry, because he would never scam on some chick right in front of you. If he does invite you, politely decline so he can have some time ith his buddies. That will show him what a great girlfriend you are.

 

Other scenario, he will go with his buds, and even if THEY are hitting on girls, he won't be, because he'll know he's got something better waiting at home.

[under_the_pressure]

I agree with parisian_pink. She nailed it. My mom did tell me I couldn't dye my hair hot pink... and right now as I sit here and type my hair is bright flourescent pink. -hehe-

 

 

under

[brokenpogostick]

as hurtful as thinking about all that is, it's sadly a fact of life. both guys & girls are gonna check out the opposite sex no matter where they are.

 

i would say that as long as he's looking and not touching or flirting then you should be fine. believe in yourself and try to realize that he's with you for a reason.

[Mun]

Hi there,

If your boyfriend asks you what you think about him going to the water park tell him " have a great time" The worst thing you can do is throw a fit and accuse him of something he hasn't done yet. You will look controlling and insecure. What guy wants a girl like that?

 

I'm sure he will be checking out girls. It's normal. If he does something wrong then you can let him have it. Until then be a great girlfriend and don't act as if you have to watch him. I bet he'll think you're really great and tell you all about the water park when he gets back ( he'll probably miss you while he's gone too)

[lunatic]

OK OK First of all your not his mother so you cannot tell him not to go. I understand that all men are pigs when it comes to women. I agree with Parisian_Pink on this one except the toddlers comment lol. Don't tell him no because then he and his friends are going to resent you. Be cool and tell him to have fun. Remember that he is coming home to you and not some bikini girl at the water park. If you want to why don't you and the girls go do something together. Go out and have fun yourself why should you be home acting like a worry wort. If you don't trust him then the relationship will never go anywhere and it is time to find someone else.

 

Hubman 8)

[RagingBull]

As a guy, I totally agree with muneca.

 

My ex was particularly possessive and that caused problems between us because I'm a friendly guy. I loved her, and I would never have cheated on her. It's really unloving when your girlfriend won't trust you.

[Lily04]

Woah, I just read this message & then starting having second thoughts about my boyfriend's whereabouts tonight =) He told me he's going out clubbing with friends tonight, although was practically begging me to come. I told him to have fun & "enjoy himself..although not too much =)"

 

I never even considered him betraying me though, so I'm not worried. I think as long as there's trust in the relationship, there's nothing to be worried about. But I'll see tomorrow..now you've got me all worried hehe. just kidding