My best friend said he won't come to my wedding

[simply_r]

My friend and I were talking about getting married and he told me that he would not come to my wedding, especially if i marry my ex boyfriend. I asked why as my best friend he wouldn't come (whenever i get married) and he said he won't be around. But that's strange because i don't know if i'll get married in 4,5, 6 or 20 years. Yet he knows he wont be there. After a while of silence, i asked what was bothering him and he asked me to forget that he said that. I assumed that he was just afraid that someone else would take his place and explained that that won't happen. But i could still tell something was bothering him. He also told me that he will never tell me the real reason. When he realised that I was a bit worried, he said that he was just saying that........but i dont think so.....what can it be? Does he have feelings for me? Is he afraid of losing our friendship? Does he think i'll neglect him?

[OhJeeeez]

That man has feelings for you, been there done that hun. I can say for 100% certainty he does.

[ECD]

the guy loves you

[Que]

^ Agreed.

 

I know how he's feeling. He's probably had feelings for you for years.

[boredguy]

agreed here as well... he must have done a good job of hiding his feelings if u dont even know anything...

[gogol]

he really really likes you. I'm sure of it.

[ComputerGuy]

Im with everyone else, he's in love with you. He said he's not going and the topic upset him because he holds a chance that you two will be together. Marriage on your half will destroy that chance, and that thought is quite obviously hurting him.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

How could you thing that he didn't have feelings for you. Unless he's convinced that the guy is better than he is it's going to be crushing for him. No matter how platonic the relationship when it really comes down to it, it never really is platonic. I've had the same problem with most all of my friends, but then again, they have all seemed to marry ex cons and bums that won't keep a job so it's been a little tuffer for me.

[hurtbylove]

Man.. I feel for him.

 

I agree with everyone else that he's probably liked you for a long time now.. He never told you and was put in the "friend zone" like so many guys.

 

I don't know how it'll change the nature of your relationship with him now that you realize this.

[simply_r]

heyyyyyyyyy..... i didnt classify him as the friend, he did that to me.... if he has feelings for me, all he has to do is say it..But he's been giving mixed signals and he said that he'd rather keep me as a friend than risk losing me by being in a relationship. what am i supposed to do?

[hurtbylove]

Sorry then, I misjudged you.

 

I tend to have my own misguided theories on women and their friendships with men.

 

Yes, then it is unusual why he would not come out with his feelings for you. If he wants to start something then maybe give it a chance. But if he said he doesn't want to risk losing the friendship..

 

Well what's life without a little risk

[boredguy]

what to do? what you need to do is talk to him about this. it will be pretty hard and he may try to avoid the subject, but u definitely need to talk to him. not only that you also need to do some soul-searching and think about your relationship with your fiancee and your friend, compare them, weight them. which would make you happier? you need to answer these questions and more. and then talk to him.