what if he was the "one" and now he's gone?

[tiki]

well...my boyfriend of two years broke up with me a month ago...its such a long story so im not gonna tell you details...lets just say that we were each other's first love and first time....

 

he means sooo much to me. we were best friends...and he was my confidant. i told him everything about me and vise versa. we spent all our time together and we were pretty much each other's world. He's leaving for college three weeks from today and he said that maybe its best if we go and try to find our own lives without each other. i agree with him and i know where he's coming from. I need to figure out what i want to do with my life but its soo difficult to make sense of everything. He's been by my side for two years and its a shock for me to know that he isnt anymore...i feel as if he's abandoning me....

 

im not really sure if i want to get back together because i know it will never be the same again...sure, change can be a good thing especially since i have grown so much from this break up...but honestly, i would not want our relationship to be any different from how it was....it was great and i wouldnt want it any other way...

 

I just miss him soo much....we weren't faking the way we felt…it was real....i just miss the way we took care of each other….

 

i just wish i could stop thinking about it because it's driving me insane! I want to stop hoping that we'll get back together one of these days because it just breaks my heart over again everytime i realize that its probably not gonna happen..

 

what should i do?

 

thankz for listening...

 

"tiki"

[shes2smart]

tiki,

 

The only way out is through.

 

This is part of the healing...it's not going to happen overnight when you were together for that long. You'll probably need to: cry, feel sad, write in journal (if you do that), draw, paint, play music or do whatever it is you do to express your emotions...and you'll probably need to do those things for a while. A few months...a year....I can't tell you for sure...your healing time table is uniquely yours and it will take as long as you need it to take.

 

I believe all relationships have a shelf life. People come into our lives for a reason and when those lessons are learned and obligations are fulfilled, they move on or we move on. Sometimes we are the teacher, sometimes we are the student, and sometimes we are both. He was "the one" for you then, but both your lives have changed. I can't even begin to describe the amount of changes you will both go through in the next 4 or 5 years.

 

You are at a tough age for a woman...I would not go back to being in my late teens and early 20's again even if I was offered large sums of money to do so. It gets better as time goes by. You may not believe that now, but just try to have faith that it will.

 

Have you ever had surgery? If you have, then you've experienced the physical healing process....emotional healing is similar...it hurts a lot....then a little less, and a little less until the good memories outweigh the pain. Only difference is with the physical healing process there are visible signs.

 

It will ease with time....and you can't rush the passage of time, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try...time goes by at the same rate for all of us.

 

best of luck to you

~s2s

[outrageousxo]

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[SteveNaive]

Ok, I gotta keep this short...sorry for that. Maybe I'll post something longer later. But two thoughts come to mind...

 

If he had been "it" he would never have left you in the first place. So try to get over it and search for your guy. easier said than done, i know...having trouble myself...(girlwise though)

 

If you were really meant to be you'll find a way to get back together again. however, due to my own experiences I would not bet on it. Once a thing is over, it's over. As tough as that sounds. I hate it as well, lost a gf of 2.5 years...thought she was "it"...but then had to discover she wasn't. So go on , live your life. If it's meant to be it will be...if not, it won't.

 

Simple as pie...(sorry for being sarcastic here...I know it's not...)

[tiki]

thankx so much for responding to my post...

its so nice to know that other people can understand how im feeling right now...

its kinda like therapy

i could have sworn that he was the one...we got along SOOO well...and we were so happy...

but i know nothing lasts forver...and i agree...we have a lot of growing up to do and changes come with growth. It has only been a month and i already feel like a totally different person.

I've done things that i would have never even considered if we were still together. I felt so sheltered by him and vise versa...

i think i need to gain some independence before we can ever work out again. If it's not meant to be in the future at least i can walk away from this knowing that i have learned soo much about being in a relationship and about myself in general.

 

this whole thing is making me realize that there is no need for bitterness and anger...what him and i had was soooo GREAT!...and i am lucky that i had the chance to experience that. I guess it was just wrong timing....

right person...wrong time...

it sucks and i hate to admit it but we are way too young...

i still need to grow up and find myself without him....

[JenGurl]

Hi, my situation is alot similar. I Really just am happy to know that other people have experienced what im experiencing right now, and realizing that it is not the end of the world and i will get through it Thanks so much for all the advice even though it wasnt my post it helped me alot!