Aries73 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 In the nearly 10 years I've spent here in Minneapolis, it seems that I've made little progress from when I left Chicago. I still have no permanent job nor any hope of finding one. Because of this, I have no prospect of getting into a real relationship since money is all that ultimately matters. What's the point of being with me if I have nothing to offer? As I go out on my errands, I often wonder to myself if mine is a life worth living if things continue this way. Sometimes I wonder if my life would have been different if I were someone else who was socially capable with a family that had the right connections in society. Oftentimes I wish I had all the physical gifts of [insert current hot Hollywood star here] or fit the flavor-of the-month credentials of employers these days. Then I wish I had the chance to just cut my losses and start life over again, hopefully with a richer, more stable family environment. Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 If you don't mind my asking, why do you think it is that you have no permanent job nor, as you allege, any hope of finding one? Link to comment
charity Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 you are wrong. life is not all about money, status. you are making it like that. and you are judging yourself on that myth. if you got the right attitude you could work in Mcdonalds and meet someone who sees your love, greatness, wittiness, capabilities, ambitions etc. Link to comment
mammadon Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Dating is normal, but nobody needs it to be happy/content. I think you need to find your own purpose and life, and recognise that there is more to life than dating or having a good job. Link to comment
mistawolf Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 you are wrong. if you got the right attitude you could work in Mcdonalds and meet someone who sees your love, greatness, wittiness, capabilities, ambitions etc. this is very true. Jobs are hard to find at the moment, make the best out of what you have. you dont gotta be Rich with a sports car to get a girl, just gotta be nice and respectful. sure the hot ones might turn you down but trust me, they are going to get bit in the ass later when you find happiness and they dont. Link to comment
Solo Pilot Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Well I can understand the poster. A think gets a lot of his self worth from his job and I know i am not alone in this way of thinking. If I didn't have a good job, I wouldn't feel like I would be a good provider for a future family and this would keep me from going out there and trying to get into a relationship. Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 Sure, self-worth shouldn't be tied to money or career or dating...but if the OP has been unable to find a permanent job for 10 years I have to wonder whether there's a deeper issue here. Not having a permanent job because the economy is abysmal is one thing...but the economy hasn't been abysmal for ten years. Perhaps, for his own sake, the OP should examine why he's been in limbo for 10 years (depression? lack of ambition? lack of education?) and try to better himself? Link to comment
Aries73 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 The main reason I came to Minneapolis was because I had no luck in finding decent work in Chicago that paid enough for me to live on my own (Working at a fast-food place has been a non-starter for me. I know how those people are treated). Since then, I've had temp jobs of varying lengths, but no prospects of permanent work no matter how much experience i gained. I have an education degree, but the last years of college proved that teaching wasn't in the cards for me. I tried to get an IT degree, but ran out of financial aid. Just as well, since I probably couldn't get a job in that field since I'm a US citizen. All I need is a simple office position that pays enough for me to live in my apartment, pay my bills, and save enough for me to at least try to have something resembling a social life. I cannot do any of this on unemployment and it is killing my spirit. I am sick of looking at Monster or craigslist and seeing nothing but temp-agency recruiting ads disguised as actual positions, out-and-out job scams, and jobs that are deliberately located in out-of-the-way suburbs to keep people like me from getting to the position (I don't drive). I am tired of calling temp agencies only to be told there's nothing available. Link to comment
Aries73 Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Because of what I described above, I've realized that I cannot possibly offer anything to a woman no matter how strong my feelings. Where could I possibly take someone living on UI? How do I even THINK of living with someone when I can barely live on what I get? I feel like I'm living and dying at the same time. Link to comment
TakingtheBlame Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Because of what I described above, I've realized that I cannot possibly offer anything to a woman no matter how strong my feelings. Where could I possibly take someone living on UI? How do I even THINK of living with someone when I can barely live on what I get? I feel like I'm living and dying at the same time. I don't agree that you can't offer anything to a woman in your current position. Of course most women want a man who can pull his own weight, as a practical matter, but there are many understanding women out there who would not hold your current position against you. You may be in a stressful and financially precarious position right now, but it isn't really your fault (you're job-hunting) and you are managing to survive far from home in this situation and that alone is an accomplishment. At least, I'd certainly think so. I know how hard it is to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when things are rough and believe in yourself, but you just have to have faith that you have worth beyond your money, as long as you can stay afloat during this hardship. It's not like you're sitting around watching TV and eating bonbons while living off of unemployment. Try not to be so hard on yourself and just keep looking for a job and don't waste time and energy analyzing your situation and thinking of how hopeless it is, because we all go through hard times and have to fight to come up for air. By the way, do you have friends in other major cities that you could perhaps crash with temporarily while interviewing for jobs in that city? I've been job hunting in two neighboring states lately and have had twice as many interviews in one state as I have in the other...some cities just have more opportunities than others. Link to comment
Jetta Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 What brought you to Mpls? If it hasn't worked why not move back to where you had better luck? Although I did just read about Chicago having a tough economy. Money and status aren't everything though it does get you a lot of women if you have it it's offentime superficial and aren't you looking for something real, and long term? Then if a relationship would you make you happen start getting involved with people. You'll find someone and other aspects of your life might pick up in the meantime. Link to comment
wcl Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 I am in a similar situation and feel pretty much the same, i have been out of work for a while, almost a year, i have qualifications in 3d design. wood work special effects, but i live where these jobs are not available. all the jobs from around me are agency temp jobs that sap what little life there is out of you. i also don't drive, so it makes it even harder when a job does arrive relatively close...but just that to far out of reach..my social life is next to non existent, and having a relationship, well i don't believe that will be happening to me anytime soon. and in actual fact i was in one, it started after i lost my permanent job and became jobless and was getting the occasional odd job. this girl was great about it all, she didn't mind, she knew it was hard for me, i was happy after meeting her, it gave me the belief to carry on and not give up...but well it got too much and she split from me, she was worried about any possible financial burden i would be on her, worried i would be a bum and mooch off her, which i never did. we had great times with little money, . it right pissed me off, without the permanent job part, there wont be no relationship, you cant be happy with yourself and confident if you are jobless and constantly getting rejected and are bored and don't socialize. i agree with you completely. no woman would have this situation unless it happened during a relationship i know i need to drag my self out of this and get a permanent job, because like you said its living while dying. my salvation would be being able to drive, but its a catch 22, i cant get the lessons or car without the permanent job, and i cant get the permanent job unless i have the car to travel it sucks you down. i hope things work out for you man! Link to comment
Aether Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I'm in a similar situation, I left my stable, full-time, permanent job to go live with my now ex in his country. Long story short, 18 months later he dumped me and here I am back here with no job, living with my mum. Jobs around here are so scarce it's laughable but there's one thing I have decided to to for myself when I'm able and that is pass my driving test, no I don't drive either, seems it's a bad year for us... Getting my driving license is the beast that I need to slay, I'm sick of it holding me back and so I'm going to do it, I know it will open things up for me dramatically. In the meantime I'm carrying on with the job hunting and working 1-2 afternoons a week... Link to comment
TidalWave Posted March 31, 2011 Share Posted March 31, 2011 Lets face it, it's true that you shouldn't need money to attract anyone, but why so many people fail to realize that it's not always money that are attracting people? It's qualities of the person that attracts them and because of which he has money. Being assertive, staying positive, having the spirit of a fighter, being responsible and never giving up. Those are some of qualities you need to be successful and admired person. It's those qualities that attract people (most of the time because they lack them themselves, or look up to them as valuable one). The list is of course much bigger than that, but I hope it gives you a clue. If there are ten type-writers applying, but only one has a chance of getting the job, which one of them will get? The best one. If you don't aspire to be the best in the corporate world or whatever business you're at, but are settling for ''some'' position, that pays ''just enough''.. I can tell you got a wrong attitude. People who think they can't or get too familiar with a word ''impossible'', or are just too laid back will always have hard time finding a job, let alone improving their style of life. You have to become predator, shark among fish. Just by realizing that your approach and attitude must change, you gain advantage over people around you. With all due respect to all women and men in here encouraging you and telling you that somewhere out there in the world are dolls that care about WHO you are and that you have always SOMETHING to offer them. Don't take it too seriously or even worse use it as an excuse to not work on yourself. I'm telling you what works in the real world. So, if you want a piece of the real world and not of some sweet romantic illusion of fairytale. Pick up a book on self-improvement and get some dreams up. Find motivation and strive to become the best you can. Indifference and lack of aspiration and dreams are your worst enemy. Link to comment
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