SmilingKatty Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 It has been a long time since the breakup. I have an awesome boyfriend by my side (unfortunately we are soon to start LDR, which scares the hell out of me), but still whenever I hear about / from my ex, it sets back my healing a lot. He contacted me few times (in a very neutral and nothing more than friendly way). I would like him to stop contacting me, but I am afraid I would look like not being over him, if I simply asked him to stop. The reasons for me being so bothered by this random contact are following: 1) it gets my hopes for reconcilliation up 2) it usually happens when I am about to let go of him entirely 3) it is actually quite hurtful to know, that I am on the list of his friends, with whom he is in contact like this (it is like saying "you are nothing more than these friends") do you have any advice? How can I redirect my emotional response to this? Or a sneaky way to get rid of his contacting me? (beside not responding, that would be impolite and not at all casual...) Link to comment
Mercurial Girl Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Personally, I would ask him to stop contacting me out of respect for my current boyfriend. Or I would leave my current boyfriend, knowing it isn't fair that I want to reconcile with my ex but am holding onto the current man as a back up plan. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I think sometimes, even if you're happy with the new boyfriend, the old boyfriend coming back will ruin your chances with your new boyfriend, because you'll start comparing and loosing interest.. you need to cut the old boyfriend off, unless you both want to get back together. you're clearly not ready for the friends thing, and you may never be. i could never be friends with an ex unless i had absolutely no feelings whatsoever for him. Link to comment
SmilingKatty Posted January 3, 2011 Author Share Posted January 3, 2011 Personally, I would ask him to stop contacting me out of respect for my current boyfriend. Or I would leave my current boyfriend, knowing it isn't fair that I want to reconcile with my ex but am holding onto the current man as a back up plan. I think I have finally managed to realize, that I actually don´t want any reconciliation and that the relationship was never very good thanks to the new boyfriend I am starting to love very much, but the contact throws me off my new found balance... I think sometimes, even if you're happy with the new boyfriend, the old boyfriend coming back will ruin your chances with your new boyfriend, because you'll start comparing and loosing interest.. you need to cut the old boyfriend off, unless you both want to get back together. you're clearly not ready for the friends thing, and you may never be. i could never be friends with an ex unless i had absolutely no feelings whatsoever for him. You are right - I don´t want to be friends with him, but I cannot admit, that I still have some feelings for him, because than everything would just get so much more awkward... And to be honest: I have done plenty of comparing and in most cases my current boyfriend is much better (actually showed me how a good relationship should look like and if it comes to it, I could never be happy with the ex again, because he wouldn´t be enough for me anymore... Link to comment
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