CRCfem Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Obviously she is not happy generally, and incapable of articulating herself; it's easy for her to see you as the bad guy, but it's the easy way out and a dead-sure answer that she is projecting all her sorrows onto you. How fair that is, you decide. Trying to please her I don't think it's the answer as it will continue to reinforce her behavior and ways of thinking how, it's a slippery slope where you will wear each other out. Maybe something like standing up for yourself and 'twisting her arm' , so to speak( I do not advocate violence!!!!! I only mean sit her down and be assertive and don't let her get away until she truly confesses what is wrong with her). Tell her that you love and care for her etc, but enough is enough, you need to sit down to solve this situation, as it's affecting both. Maybe she feels she is not listened to , no matter how unrightly she is judging the situation. Maybe she has fears and doubts about herself that she is unable yet to articulate. Either way, communication is the key, and both of you deserve a listening ear and the intention of solving this and putting it behind- for good!! Link to comment
Wrxrtd Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I have tried that. Listened to her, not gotten upset or angry even when she is falsely accusing me of something. Then there are times when I have had no choice but to be assertive and tell her ''how it is'' and what I see her problems are. Both of them result in the same outcome, her getting extremely upset and blaming me for everything and convincing herself that I don't love her. There are also times when I simply cannot believe the accusations that I am hearing from her and have gotten angry and reacted by simply telling her to stop being a b!cth! And well, the result from that was her going mental and physically attacking me (not the first time) and hitting me as many times as humanly possible. Of course, that was my fault as well because I 'made' her react like that in her words. The next day I had my bags packed after that and was on my way out for good and she got upset and I ended up staying, even though she was the one that day who said to me ''I think we should split up'' and I agreed. I don't know what is going to happen from here. All I know is that we seem to be wearing each other out to no end and the happiness seems to be long gone. Link to comment
CRCfem Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 falsely accusing me of something. ... physically attacking me (not the first time) and hitting me as many times as humanly possible. Of course, that was my fault as well because I 'made' her react like that in her words.. She is abusing you. No matter how you look at it, there is no excuse for violence, ever. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Why aren't all guys like that? LOL agree. while i understand peeps use it...when in relationship i dont agree with it. you are wanking off to another woman. yeah can say its jus an image but the mind is a powerful thing and them women are still real in that scene i had chance to do porn once...its a sick industry and i thank my angels for guiding me out of it....so messed up anyway, my now ex was using it whilst lying to me he wasnt....i felt pyshically sick and id rather be single for life than accept a partner watching porn. but thats jus me and slag me off all you want Link to comment
ibu Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 while i understand peeps use it...when in relationship i dont agree with it. you are wanking off to another woman. yeah can say its jus an image but the mind is a powerful thing and them women are still real in that scene I disagree with you on that one. Sure, there are real men and women in a porn scene, but I still masturbate to porn when I'm in a relationship (I'm female). But I don't masturbate to the thought of another man, but just to the images of the sex act itself. Most of the times the scenes don't even show the man's face, so it's not like I'm comparing them to my boyfriend or anything. Most of the times I see a sex scene and I think "oh, I bet that'd feel good" or "that looks like a great position", and then most likely I get off thinking about my partner doing that to me. I don't have any problem with my partner watching porn either. In the beginning when we got together, he told me " I deleted all porn videos & pics etc off my laptop since I met you." and I was like "why? and we discussed the porn issue. But you have to have communication about it. Lying about it and saying that you don't watch porn when you do is not a good idea, IMO. Link to comment
leo75 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 As long as he isn't saying no to me and ONLY getting off to porn, I see no problem with it. Men shouldn't feel ashamed to watch it, nor should women. I completely agree; as long as one isn't delving into harmful deviant activity with an unwilling partner.. (ie: bondage/drugging.. etc) Link to comment
lizbriscoe Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 The fact that you feel guilty is your God given conscience and is the answer to your question. It is not only morally wrong to watch porn but is a sin that Satan so loves to tempt us with and usually finds it very easy to seduce one to watch these images. The common idea that porn is ok is one that was established "By the father of lies and the unseen ruler of this world"--Satan. I myself knowing this will even get the urge to visit a porn website just out of the blue and I sometimes falter in my ability to resist the temptation. But know this, when the thought arises to do so, who planted that thought in your mind. But yes as far as your girlfriend is concerned she has a right to know that your eyes and lusts are not solely set on her. Being up front with her about this would be a true testament of your love and respect for her in not trying to decieve her. As a woman I myself have found the inner thoughts can be cruel to us women by making us compare ourselves with the harlotts in the porn industry making us believe we fall short every time to what is desirable in our man's mind and eye. So even if you dont view it in a spirutal sense as to what porn really is look at it as showing your girlfriend great respect when you tell her this is something that you watch sometimes. In the end she would probably find out and it's better she not become unsure of your love for her by seeing you hiding it from her and being decietful about it. I hope this helps and good luck in your relationship! Link to comment
lizbriscoe Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Why do you think so many women are hurt at the discovery of the ones they love watching porn? What is it in the nature of the women that is being affected by such images being viewed by there husbands? Link to comment
lizbriscoe Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I think it is great you got out of the industry and now have a more informed view and idea as to what porn really consists of compared to others who view it as just an image. Like you said the fact is that image consists of a very lost soul one which has probably been sexually abused as a child or one that is an addict or one that has terrible childhood memories. The fact that they, with this sort of past, having resorted to porn as their aspiration in this life, is really a testament to the true filth porn really is in the lives of these poor women. Granted some may be in the industry for the lust of money but I sometimes wonder what made them take this path and how they must really feel inwardly. Even after all this the lust of the eyes is a powerful thing and I even find myself in the path of this temptation. Yes, you are so right you had intervention in your life from God to remove you from the industry taking off your blinders to see it for what it really is. What a true display of love when He guided you away from that lifestyle Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I don't have a problem with my SO watching porn, and I also don't need to know about it. It's not my business. If it gets to the point where it becomes an addiction or negatively affects our relationship that's another story. Link to comment
sindy Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Why aren't all guys like that? LOL My thoughts exactly. Link to comment
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