help

[lostheart]

Hi All,

My bf broke up with me after almost 2 years of being together. Things seem to be going great until one night I was frustrated trying to find something. He knew I was frustrated but he got upset that I asked him to say "something to make me happy." He hung up the phone. I tried to call him back but the phone was off the hook. I sent him an email that night saying I'm sorry and I loved him. The next morning he emailed me saying it was over between us, not to find him, and needs to be a long time before he hears or sees me (only 3 lines, very short). I contacted him shortly after I received the email and he hung up on me. I tried to talk to him in person after work but he refused to talk to me just saying he can't date me and that he's mad at me. I begged him (which I shouldn't have) to let me talk to him, he refused. Its been one month and he hasn't contacted me. I haven't tried to contact him. Since that night he has unplugged his answering machine and has not had an answering machine. I have attempted to call but I can't leave any messages. He's gone over mutual friends house and he seemed very "normal"--he's not sharing any feelings to them. He's cut off all communication with me.

 

What can I do? I want to get back together with him but things seem so bleak...I'm trying to "move on" Is there anyway to help him contact me?

please your comments are appreciated. What should I do? I'm trying to work on myself. Is there anything I can do to save this and have him talk to me? please help!

[lisaria]

Hi lostheart,

Ok, let me see if I have this right...you were frustrated, asked him for some words that would make you feel better and he hangs up on you? and then doesn't talk to you for a month? what is his problem? Sorry, I don't even know the guy, maybe he's nice to little old ladies and stray puppies... just not to his g/f.

 

Ok, I think that first you need to look at this thing really hard. Are you sure you want someone who would treat you like that? So many times when someone hurts us like this, our self esteem just goes out the window and then after you have been out of the painful emotions and get through this you realize that you don't deserve or want anyone who would treat you like that.

 

You may want to think about the no contact rule. Not for him, but for you. You need the time to step back and look at this thing logically. From your head, not your heart and you can't do that while you're still trying to contact him. That puts you too close to him and the feelings that you still have. Everytime you pick up the phone and dial you think that this time you will actually maybe talk to him and everything will be alrite. That's putting you through the emotional blender everytime. You have to stop that for your own sake. If you feel like talking call a friend. Anybody but him. Get up here and vent, we all do it. Anything but him.

 

I really hope you feel better soon. Good luck.

lisaria

[lostheart]

Hey All,

So do you guys think -- is there any hope in this case? or not hope but does this look bleak? He is avoiding or hiding at all cost it seems like. Its been one month. I can't believe he broke up a 2 year relationship over email! Yup basically he broke up because I was frustrated over something I couldn't find. He helped me look in his car but it wasn't there... I asked if he could say something to make me happy (in a frustrated way..) he got frustrated at me and hung up the phone and next morning broke up with me. Its not like I cheated or swore at him. everything was ok that day and then suddenly next day its over. Is this heard of?

very weird! your comments appreciated!

[Mun]

Why would you even want to have any contact with him? Look at what he did: he hung up on you when you needed some comfort from him. Do you honestly think you should put up with that? Come on girl, you know you deserve better.

 

It sounds very strange that he would break up with you over something so minor. Maybe this was brewing over time.

 

In any case his behavior is telling you to leave him alone, he doesn't want anything to do with you. So respect that and move on. Keep your head high and don't look back. You will find someone who is more mature than that and who truly values you.