Are dumpers open to reconciliation after rebound failure

[piratehound]

Have any of you dumpers ever rebounded/GIGS, it didn't work out, and then saw the dumpee in a better light?

 

After the rebound fails, will the dumper naturally think of the previous ex, if there was true love there?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

A lot of dumpers do indeed run back to their ex after their rebound fails....however for many it is because they want the security and status of continuing to be part of a couple...they don't want to be single again so they run back to the ex in order to avoid being single. It is not a good idea to take a dumper back immediately after their rebound fails.

[piratehound]

What if they break up with the reboundee just for me?

[Yaz]

I hope dumpers come back. I really do.

[piratehound]

In my situation, I'm not counting on her coming back if her rebound fails. But I am curious how receptive she would be to hearing from me.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What if they break up with the reboundee just for me?

 

Why would you want to sleep with someone who, within the last week was sleeping with someone else and telling that someone else that she adored him. Do you really want to be with someone whose emotions are that shallow?

[LanceVanceDance]

If this happens, you should not immediately welcome her with open arms.

 

You should question her motives (it could indeed be simply because she wants the security of being in a couple and she knows you'll take her back) and directly ask her about her motives. If you're willing to try again, let her know, but also let her know that you won't take her back for the wrong reasons.

[piratehound]

Well in my case they're not official, just "dating" for a length of time. They're not official.

 

Also we broke up because I wouldn't propose marriage - so in a way it was my fault. I think she's just testing the waters.

[piratehound]

Thanks for the post Lance. Would it be a good idea for me to make first contact after rebound failure?

[Unknown1607307972]

Not all of them do but some definitely. I still think it's a bad idea to jump back together as if the dumper wanted to be with you so much then they wouldn't have left or at least they'd end their reound to try and make things work with you.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She wanted marriage and you were not proposing..so rather than end things and focus on other things going on in her life she immediately launches into dating someone else. To me that says she is more interested in the notion of being married rather than on the actual person.

[SWEET_J]

Taking a 'dumper' back after they have been with someone else is like accepting a demotion to 'fallback guy or girl' Just because someone comes back doesn't mean you have to accept them. I think you would have much more success by turning them down and making them work for it.

[ForumGuy]

Why would you want to sleep with someone who, within the last week was sleeping with someone else and telling that someone else that she adored him. Do you really want to be with someone whose emotions are that shallow?

This is exactly how I see it....chances are they will do it again...the only question is....when?

 

Mine did this but didn't, and still doesn't know that I know she was with someone else. She is probably still confused as to why I won't have anything to do with her. Too bad, because before this happened I would have done anything for her. Everything is great now and I am much better off than I would have been with her.

[Brownstone322]

My first college girlfriend left me for another guy, and about a year and a half later became disillusioned with him and came looking for me again. I was a lot different by then. We "got back together" for six months or so, but I was only in it for the fun, not for her.

[Minx2012]

I think the ONLY way that I would take a dumper back ( which I haven't yet in my entire dating history ).....is if the following exists :

 

1) I still think about them in a good light and rather fondly.

2) We both have our s*it sorted out...and we're wiser bc of it ( i.e. we went through dating other people and realised that no matter all that, we still thought back to each other )

3) We're both clear-headed and READY to give it another go.

 

As you can see, these are HUGE factors....and that's why it's rare for couple who break up to get back together again. Once it's done, it's usually done.

[thejigsup]

I broke up with a few men, had a rebound, broke up with them, and have never gone back. I leave men for very good reasons and whatever happens after that does not make me miss them. My current bf of 11 years started off as a rebound, so they can become the real thing.

[LanceVanceDance]

Thanks for the post Lance. Would it be a good idea for me to make first contact after rebound failure?

 

I'd wait for her to make a move.

 

She was big enough to break up with you, so she's big enough to have the initiative.