what it means when he hides his online dating profile

[im sandra dee]

I've met three different men within the past month.

 

The first guy I met less than one month ago.

The second guy I met last Friday night.

The third guy I met yesterday.

 

A couple of dating books I've read suggest dating three to find the one.

 

I really like the first guy but haven't seen him in a while.

I thought he might be seeing someone and so I asked him.

He told me that he is not seeing anyone and that his project is behind schedule.

He is a business owner so I know his work is not just 9 to 5 to him.

That much was clear to me from the night I met him. His job and his kids are his life.

He said he hopes I understand about work and signed his email with an xo.

I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I have now decided to wait for him and not give up on him and see how things go.

I discovered this afternoon that he hid his online dating profile.

I'm analyzing it. Did he hide it because he's too busy with work?

Or has he decided that his search is over because he thinks that I'm cool?

Or if I'm suspicious, did he hide it because he met a girl, lied to me and wants to see how things go with her? I hate that I'm suspicious this way yet I want to believe him.

If a man is asked directly, are you seeing someone? Then he's supposed to be honest right?

 

The guy I met on Friday night was sending me email after email after email and he was becoming very annoying. He never gave me a chance to reply to an email before he'd send more. I had to block him. So he was crossed off my list.

 

The guy I met yesterday was attractive and I enjoyed his company.

He asked me out yesterday and I accepted.

We're having lunch this Friday.

After I got home yesterday from meeting him, I was so beat and decided that I will no longer attempt to meet more men because it is so exhausting!

I hid my online dating profile.

I will have lunch with the third guy as planned but that's it. I am done.

And absolutely no physical contact, I am not going to allow any kissing!!!

 

I want to focus on guy number one. That's my decision. I'll take my chances.

[Starrgrl]

Stop overthinking, if you like the first guy see how things go with him and guy 3.

It may be cos he's busy, or cos he found sb else, but you wouldn't know would you? And asking would give off neediness, so just take it slow.

[BriarRose]

Have you heard from Guy #1 since you posted your last thread about him? Your thread shows 11/12 was the last correspondence with him?

[im sandra dee]

Have you heard from Guy #1 since you posted your last thread about him? Your thread shows 11/12 was the last correspondence with him?

 

Guy #1 sent me an email today, a text message on Sunday night and one on Monday morning, and he called me last Friday.

But you know what, these were all in response to mine. Maybe he is too nice to give me the brush off and is telling me that he's busy with work.

I really don't know. Part of me thinks he found someone and has been seeing her the past couple of weeks. OMG! I think that's more likely.

I'm the girl he has on his back burner just in case. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should just forget him. Damn!!

[BriarRose]

Guy #1 sent me an email today, a text message on Sunday night and one on Monday morning, and he called me last Friday.

But you know what, these were all in response to mine. Maybe he is too nice to give me the brush off and is telling me that he's busy with work.

I really don't know. Part of me thinks he found someone and has been seeing her the past couple of weeks. OMG! I think that's more likely.

I'm the girl he has on his back burner just in case. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I should just forget him. Damn!!

 

Yes, I think that is what happened (sorry, hope you are not mad at me for saying that). He did go awhile with contacting you, only responds to your contact, and now his profile is hidden. I don't want to come accross too harsh or anything - but I think he is a waste of your time. And I don't think you should hide your profile

[im sandra dee]

Yes, I think that is what happened (sorry, hope you are not mad at me for saying that). He did go awhile with contacting you, only responds to your contact, and now his profile is hidden. I don't want to come accross too harsh or anything - but I think he is a waste of your time. And I don't think you should hide your profile

 

BriarRose, but wait... I just remembered that he initiated a text message to me on Friday afternoon. What about that?

And when I asked him if he's seeing someone, isn't it better to just to be honest with me?

[BriarRose]

BriarRose, but wait... I just remembered that he initiated a text message to me on Friday afternoon. What about that?

And when I asked him if he's seeing someone, isn't it better to just to be honest with me?

 

For me, I wouldn't go out with someone whose contact was that sporadic. But that's me. Others may disagree. I wouldn't be interested any longer after he went a week without calling me. I would be sad, but I would try to move on.

[im sandra dee]

For me, I wouldn't go out with someone whose contact was that sporadic. But that's me. Others may disagree. I wouldn't be interested any longer after he went a week without calling me. I would be sad, but I would try to move on.

 

BriarRose, I have been so frustrated that I haven't heard his voice or seen him in so long and was starting to lose interest because all I ever got from him was text messages. I had a relationship with his cell phone!

[BriarRose]

BriarRose' date=' I have been so frustrated that I haven't heard his voice or seen him in so long and was starting to lose interest because all I ever got from him was text messages. I had a relationship with his cell phone![/quote']

 

You deserve more than that. And apparently you get a lot of dates, so it's just a matter of time before you find a great guy! He probably wanted to hook up again.

[RedDress]

When the dating books suggested dating three... I think that they meant a continuous cycle of three. You crossed #2 off, which means that you have a free 'slot' for a new guy.

 

If you want to continue with guy #1 (or be open to him) - go ahead. But I don't think you should put all your eggs in his basket. He's clealy 'unavailable', for whatever reason. Let him persue you and respond however you feel like responding.

 

Keep your date with guy #3 and don't write him off too early.

 

Time to replace #2 - I think you should unhide your profile and be open to new correspondance. You don't have to seek it - but why close yourself to it?

 

... and why the no kissing rule?

 

The online dating world is fickle. You are meeting strangers. It's not uncommon to go on a few dates and have the relationship fizzle. Just relax and enjoy each date for what it is. Maybe it will turn into more... maybe it won't. It's about enjoying the ride.

[im sandra dee]

RedDress, you give good advice

 

I know now that Guy # 1 is unavailable to me and I accept it. I have no hard feelings towards him. Every moment that I spent with him was fun! But it was getting too hard for me to get his text messages and not see him or hug him or kiss him. Whether he's involved with his work or a girl, whatever, he isn't spending enough time with me. This was a good lesson for me actually to see what I want from a man in terms of time. I didn't really know before because I don't have a lot of experience dating.... and now I am learning. I need to see a guy at least a few times a week and need to hear from him every single day... that's what I'd expect from a boyfriend.

 

I am definitely going to see Guy # 3 and I'll see how it goes... and if he kisses me.... well, I'll see when or if it happens.

 

Guy # 2 is no longer in contact with me. I'd be open to meeting someone to fill his "slot" but this is so exhausting.... maybe if I just slow things down.... and try to make "first meet" plans less often... it would be less exhausting!

 

I hadn't realized about the fizzle after a few dates. Good to know. I am disappointed about what happened with Guy # 1. And I'm shocked actually that he was able to find another woman so quickly. He's only been on the site for less than a month. The day he and I first talked was his first day on the site. So many guys complain that it takes them forever and they don't find a woman and he did it so quickly?? It was a little unexpected.

[im sandra dee]

You deserve more than that. And apparently you get a lot of dates, so it's just a matter of time before you find a great guy! He probably wanted to hook up again.

 

BriarRose, thanks for the kind words. Would it be ok if I send you a private message? It's just something about Guy # 1....

[Ms Darcy]

I think it's good if you can't see the guy's profile so you can't obsess about whether he's online or not. You should be talking to each other about that stuff anyway.

[im sandra dee]

I think it's good if you can't see the guy's profile so you can't obsess about whether he's online or not. You should be talking to each other about that stuff anyway.

 

Ms Darcy, I called him earlier today because it was driving me nuts. I didn't say that to him. He told me that he hid his profile because he was getting too many emails from women that he wasn't interested in talking to. I also talked to him about his text messages... that I love getting them... he is so sweet... but I haven't seen him in over two weeks... and it has been hard for me. He told me that's why he shies away from relationships and dating because his job takes up so much of his time. I got a sense of that the very first night that he and I met... that his work and his kids are his life... our conversation has given me renewed hope that he is interested to see me again... he sounded extremely worn out and stressed about his job but was very happy to talk to me and said a few nice things about me... so I'll see what happens, if anything, with him... he's still in my "dating-three-men-rotation" for now even though technically I'm not seeing him... in the meantime, I'm talking to other guys and not closing myself off to opportunities... the way I see it, if I had focused on one guy then I would never have met him.... so who knows who I may be missing out on if I focus only on him...

[DylanNotorious]

Ok think about this then.

 

 

He says he has no time because of his job - yet he had time at the beginning to date, because he was on the prowl and met you. So he had time then.

 

Then you go out of your way to call him because you hadn't heard from him.................

 

I could go on and on, because maybe I look deeper. But don't sit around waiting for a guy who comes up with these weak excuses.

[im sandra dee]

Ok think about this then.

 

 

He says he has no time because of his job - yet he had time at the beginning to date, because he was on the prowl and met you. So he had time then.

 

Then you go out of your way to call him because you hadn't heard from him.................

 

I could go on and on, because maybe I look deeper. But don't sit around waiting for a guy who comes up with these weak excuses.

 

DylanNotorious, he was on the site for only one whole hour when he got an email from me and I asked him out for a drink and he volunteered his number and I called him and we set up a first meet in two days. The night he and I met, he talked a lot about his job and his kids but more so about his job. He reminded me of myself when I get so focused on a project at work. Well in his case, he has more than one project on the go -- different clients -- different job sites -- different deadlines... but lots of stuff coming up. He was making time to meet me, yes, but he mentioned some of his deadlines later in November. I suppose that I should asked right up front how he makes time for dating but I didn't think it would be an issue. He made advances at me in the parking lot. He suggested walking me to my car and he kissed not once but twice. After I gave him a goodbye hug, he didn't want to say goodbye and asked me to sit with him in his truck. All the while we were in his truck fooling around, he mentioned having to get up early in the morning but clearly he wasn't ready for me to leave. He wanted to continue fooling around. Then he knew that I was going away for a weekend thing and mentioned seeing me on the Sunday night when I got home. Sunday afternoon he texted me and called me and we got together. Then again later in the week. I think things at work were busy in the beginning but got even busier because upcoming deadlines and trust me, I know exactly what that's like because I've been in that situation. As deadlines approach, the pressure to get things done and problems that come up become sources of great stress. I don't think he is making weak excuses. I truly do believe that work is wearing him down. But that in of itself may be an issue for us. I'll see how I feel when his jobs get completed, if he makes it a priority to spend time with me. In the meantime, there are other men in my "date-three-men-rotation" and I will have my fun!

[Ms Darcy]

Ok think about this then.

 

 

He says he has no time because of his job - yet he had time at the beginning to date, because he was on the prowl and met you. So he had time then.

 

Then you go out of your way to call him because you hadn't heard from him.................

 

I could go on and on, because maybe I look deeper. But don't sit around waiting for a guy who comes up with these weak excuses.

 

I would definitely agree with Dylan. If he is too busy to see you for a couple of weeks then he is not really long term potential. You really need to know that a man who is interested will make more time for a woman he wants.

[im sandra dee]

I would definitely agree with Dylan. If he is too busy to see you for a couple of weeks then he is not really long term potential. You really need to know that a man who is interested will make more time for a woman he wants.

 

I don't think that I've been fair to him. Whatever his reason for not seeing me in over two weeks, my expectations have gotten too high.

 

I've been thinking that I want to have him as my boyfriend. But do I really know him well enough? If I'm completely honest, then no.

 

Now I think that I need some time and space away from this situation with him because (1) I am emotionally exhausted (2) it's interfering with my sleep, eating habits, exercise,, etc.,,, I haven't been taking care of myself. This is not healthy.

 

Going forward, I'm going to take better care of myself and pursue healthy relationships with men.

[Ms Darcy]

You are right, it is not healthy to put that much energy in someone you barely know. You deserve a healthy relationship.