i think my boyfriend forgot my birthday

[sweetharmony]

Hi everyone,

 

My boyfriend of five months hasn't called yet for my birthday (i know, it's only 5:00 PM), but I'm thinking he forgot. I mean, he hasn't mentioned plans or anything. When would he call? I mean, if he had dinner plans or something, I should know by this point, don't you think? What if I made other plans? Basically, I know he's forgotten.

 

Two weeks ago, he remembered it was my b-day, because he even mentioned it. He said, he isn't your birthday coming up soon- July 15? I was so happy he remembered. I didn't think he would, so I was happy. Which is why I haven't brought it up since. He even remembered our first date- February 15. Two weeks ago, he was head over heals for me. This week, our relationships on the rocks. I'm leaving for about a month and he's going to be away for two months- basically, he's going away for one monht every other month for the next year and then, he's leaving for residency in New York and has no plans of continuing our relationship. So I feel as though our relationship is coming to an end anyway. But back to today's situation.

 

What if he doesn't call me until later and forgets. What do I say then? Do I tell him that it is my birthday and see if he offers to take me out or just go out with my friends? I feel kind of foolish waiting for him to take me out. Do I get angry and yell? What is the correct way to handle this?

[DopeStar]

Maybe he is planning a surprise party. But if he's not dump him, you obviously have no long term plans with this guy so why waste your time with him? If the sex is really that good I'd understand but still, It is your birthday and that's messed up that he'd forget.

[under_the_pressure]

Dopestar is exactly right. Maybe it's a surprise party or maybe he did forget. The other alternative...is he ends it on your birthday. I've had that happen to me before. The most you can do right now is wait...and wait. If he forgets your birthday beat the h*ll out of him. LoL-jk. But obviously if he can't remember your birthday he isn't worth your time and you can do alot better then that. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SWEETHARMONY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

 

 

Under

[Princess777]

Has he called yet? Wow that is hard. I'd probably go ahead and make other plans because you don't want to be sitting at home all night on your birthday, girl!!!!!

 

Go out and have fun, and just take your cellphone in case he calls. (if you have one). If not, then he was just too late, huh!?!!!

[lady00]

sweetharmony, did he contact u yet? keep us posted...

[Scout]

Sweetharmony, Happy Birthday from all your eNotalone friends!!! If your guy really does forget your birthday, we're here for tomorrow's justified vent!!!

[CCB]

Alright, I think that you should give the guy some credit since he did remember the date of the birthday.

 

If he truly forgot, I guess you can just say good bye and end it if you both think that's the way it should go. But don't blame it on the birthday thing, that's an awful way to end it, just tellhim things wouldn't work out.

 

I am a little bit on the guy's side because even though I give my friends gifts in the christmas or on special occasions, I can NEVER remember a birthday. It's not that I don't care about them, I usually write it down but by the time I remember I'm already at school or at work and can't buy anything and when I get out and meet them I forget. SO... don't punish it so much on the guy... He did remember before but if he forgot later it's truly an honest mistake and not just carelessness.

[redline052]

I guess he didnt forget cause she obviusly wasnt home last night to reply

[sweetharmony]

Hey everyone,

 

thanks for everyone's birthday wishes!

 

yes he did forget my birthday. I just made plans with other friends. I wasn't going to sit at home sulking- i was going to be out sulking. He did call me at 7:45 PM. I didn't say anything at first about my birthday. He sounded really sad and worried.

 

He said that he needed to talk, which kinda freaked me out (I was thinking, omg- he's going to dump me on my birthday). Well basically, he didn't mention my b-day, but I listened to him and he said he wasn't doing so well and he wanted me to come over and talk b/c he was really depressed and hadn't been sleeping all week. He's doing a rotation right now and all the residents have been really tough and cruel to him. He thinks he made the wrong career choice and he's just burned out. Well, now he's really scared, b/c he hates the specialty he chose and he thinks he made the wrong choice. He has his boards next week and he's postponing b/che's too stressed out. He was just about to cry to me over the phone. He was even going to cancel his rotation in New York next month b/c he needs to figure out what he wants to do. I sat there and listened and didn't say anythintg about my birthday yet. I just tried to be supportive.

 

Then he asked me to come over because he needed me and I told him that I already had plans. He asked me what I was doing. I told him my friends and I were going out to celebrate my birthday. he sat there in awe for a second and then apologized profusely. He told me he wanted to make it up to me and take me out to dinner, but I told him that I wouldn't cancel my plans. I stayed on the phone with him a bit to be supportive of his issues, but I was a little angry and still am angry. of course, I still felt guilty b/c he's been under a lot of stress and I do understand that he is depressed and has a lot on his mind. He did remember two weeks ago and i guess it just slipped his mind this week. He also didn't realize that i was leaving for europe this wed. he thought it was in two weeks and he feels so upset.

 

Well, I'm not forgiving him so easy. He better make it up to me. But I was a little easy on him b/c of his issues. If he doesn't try and make it up to me, then I'll just have to let him go. I think it's inevitable anyway. I can forgive this one time, but he really does need to make it up to me-but it's not even just this thing- there's just too many other things (over and over again that I can't forgive). and we don't communicate so well, either- too many misunderstandings.

 

it's funny...all three of my ex boyfriends either called or e-mailed to wish me a happy birthday. goes to show you- who really cares about me.

 

Again, thanks for being there for me and for all of your birthday wishes.

[Scout]

Hopefully he didn't. I don't know if this is a "break-up worthy" event if he did, either. Look forward to finding out what happened.

[Scout]

oops, my post above went out right when you were sending your's I guess. Well, I think you handled everything perfectly, and I hope he's justifiably embarrassed. He should have sent you flowers or something today to PARTLY make up for it, though. I also can't believe he forgot when you're going to Europe. You know, he sounds pretty self-absorbed and absent minded, which I suppose you could justify because of his job/training, but I wouldn't if I were you. I agree you shouldn't put too much more effort into a relationship with this guy, but I understand it's very disappointing at the same time. Again, you handled the birthday thing perfectly. Good for you for not breaking your plans.

[Princess777]

Well I think you did awesome with the way you handled everything - Good for you!!!!! Now aren't you glad you went out? Good for you, not running over to him. I can honestly, (ashamedly) say that I probably would have went to him. But your response was much better. Now he knows that he should pay a little more attention to things like that.

 

Admittedly, he does have a lot going on, and he most definitely is putting his career in front of everything else in his life, which is of course his own choice. Your choice is whether you want to hang around and see if you'll ever be #1 in his life. Maybe he just hasn't reached that point yet, or maybe it's just not the right time.

 

I do feel that this isn't really a break-up issue, but rather something that he needs to just make up to you. I forget birthdays all the time, but it is absolutely no reflection of how I really feel about that person. You could approach it with a sense of humor and tell him, "well since you forgot my birthday you owe me big time" and spout off some wild payback......which could be fun.

[ComputerGuy]

I wouldn't dump him over something like this, especially someone who works shift work like he does. I know as a guy, that I can be very forgetful. I don't do it on purpose, I'm just like that from time to time, sometime's I'll just stop talking midsentence and go "What was I just saying???" LOL. Basically if he is depressed and stressed out, that may have made him forget, Hell I forget my own birthday sometimes. Last year my mums like ha[ppy birthday, and was like "Are you serious???"

 

Don't go leaving someone because of a small mistake like this, hes only human and sh*t happens, I know I wouldn't let it bother me.

[chicasha]

 

 

i'm in a similar situation.....! my boyfriend of a couple months...he asked me when my birthday was on our first date. But...i haven't seen him in a while, cos he's been on vacation for a few weeks, something he planned a long time ago. I know he got back a couple days ago...but he hasn't called me yet

I think he knows my birthday is today.....or maybe he forgot. Either way....i feel gloomy on my birthday

Cos, I thought I had finally met a really awesome guy.....and i was so excited about him! But...i haven't heard from him in a while....and it sucks that its my birthday on top of that.

Well....ok..its only 9:15 in the morning..hehe. But...I dunno guys.

I guess..we'll wait and see.....

(i'm 27 today...aghghgh!!!!! 27 and maybe man-less!).

[Scout]

Happy birthday, Chicasha!!! Whatever your outcome with your guy, may you have a wonderful year full of adventures ahead of you.

[eksman]

maybe he remembered your birthday at the last minute and realized he had forgotten + it was too late to make plans so he came up with the bit about being depressed, just a thought though