GF Admitted to "Dating" A Girl While We Were Broken Up

[TinSoldier]

So I found out recently that my girlfriend, soon after we broke up a while ago, started sleeping with and secretly dating her best friend who is a girl. At first I literally laughed this off in disbelief but she persisted and I flipped out. With the circumstances and timing I accused her of cheating on me. She pointed out it was not true and only did because she felt comfortable and safe with her. Now I am not sure how to handle this as I was not with anyone in the separation and feel betrayed. How am I supposed to trust her around girls now? Again she said that it was a one time thing was thats the end of it.

 

After a lot of arguing and the minor details I told her if we are going to be together she has to let go of her best friend. Throughout a lot of the relationship she has hurt me and not been completely honest which does include me finding out about their "relationship." When she did me wrong I gave her a second chance but when the past summer was rough and we were splitting up I asked her for the same courtesy. She denied me and said no.

 

To regain my trust and respect she has to let her go which I have never asked of something. First time when I let her be some other guys date to his prom he not only took my date to prom but dated her as well. She had sex with two people before me and I am just in a world of hurt and anger. I do not want her to suffer but understand my pain and the sacrifices I've made for her so she must do something to prove it and this is what I'm asking from her.

 

Any comments?

[SapphireNoir10]

You were broken up.

 

I dont see why you cant trust her around women, if you can trust her around guys, their no difference there. Just because its women she wont cheat.

 

And im not sure what her sleeping with two people before you has to do with the now. And I dont know why asking her to give up her friend will help anything.

 

I know your hurt. But think about it, you were split up at the time.

[LightbulbSun]

It sounds like she had an experimental fling, nothing more than that.

 

Is she straight? Bi? If she's always been straight before this, then it was just an experimental fling. I don't think she suddenly turned gay, just because you broke up with her.

[greywolf]

What exactly has she done wrong in this situation? It's not wrong to hook up with somebody while single. Same with her having sex with people before you. If you don't trust your gf, then I think you should really reconsider the relationship. It's not fair to both you and her to be in a relationship where there is no trust.

[is2]

So I found out recently that my girlfriend, soon after we broke up a while ago, started sleeping with and secretly dating her best friend who is a girl. At first I literally laughed this off in disbelief but she persisted and I flipped out. With the circumstances and timing I accused her of cheating on me. She pointed out it was not true and only did because she felt comfortable and safe with her. Now I am not sure how to handle this as I was not with anyone in the separation and feel betrayed. How am I supposed to trust her around girls now? Again she said that it was a one time thing was thats the end of it.

 

Do you trust her around guys? What's the difference? Sounds like a bit of latent homophobia.

 

After a lot of arguing and the minor details I told her if we are going to be together she has to let go of her best friend. Throughout a lot of the relationship she has hurt me and not been completely honest which does include me finding out about their "relationship." When she did me wrong I gave her a second chance but when the past summer was rough and we were splitting up I asked her for the same courtesy. She denied me and said no.

 

To regain my trust and respect she has to let her go which I have never asked of something. First time when I let her be some other guys date to his prom he not only took my date to prom but dated her as well. She had sex with two people before me and I am just in a world of hurt and anger. I do not want her to suffer but understand my pain and the sacrifices I've made for her so she must do something to prove it and this is what I'm asking from her.

 

Any comments?

 

If you were broken up, why does it matter? And why do you have to make her "prove" something by getting her to lose her best friend? I would never ask that of anyone.

 

Sounds like you are a bit insecure, tbh. And I think this insecurity will be damaging to your relationship. maybe it caused the break up in the first place?

[TinSoldier]

The reason is not because she hooked up with a girl it is because her best friend took advantage of our relationship when it was on the rocks and steered her away from us making up. At one point I asked for her help and she blatantly called me out on everything I had done wrong that my gf had told her. She had been her best friend for only a couple of months and had no idea of the whole situation and circumstances. We broke up because I made fun of an argument they had which brought up everything else. They had a misunderstanding which is too petty to explain and the best friend felt guilty and used that against my gf because my gf is very emotional and defensive when it comes to her close company. So my gf teared me a new a-hole and nearly ostracized me like I had cheated on her. I know afterwards she felt alone and vulnerable which is when the best friend made her move. My gf said she had wanted to meet up once for dinner but said she could not hand out casually cause she was too busy. While she spent time with her best friend almost every weekend. My problem is with her best friend's integrity and personal motives. People like that do not change and if she did it once she will do it again. She has disrespected me and the relationship as if she was sabotaging it from the inside. So I will soon go up to her and explain that their friendship cannot continue. Asking my gf to do this is a lot but we have already been in a situation once where I trusted someone and right after we broke up the first time my gf had started dating him. Being insecure has some small play but I will not be treated like this by other people. As a precaution and to encourage our relationship and not keep any lingering temptation I will go to the best friend and tell her to leave us alone.

[greywolf]

OP, whether her friend's motives are bad or good, consider what you're asking of your gf. You can tell your gf how you feel, but ultimatums usually backfire.