do people forgive needy,desperate,begging actions

[resilient7]

i was wondering If people forget the actions of a dumpee when it comes to them acting all out needy,trying to do everything in their power to get the dumper back.I ask cause I am guilty of expressing myself this way,of course I look back and GEEZ,WOW,YIKES! what in the world was i thinking,it's like i was behind the wheel but wasn't doing any of the steering and got to see the whole collision play out.

 

So do we forget? I don't think we do especially if the last image they saw of us is one where were sobbing like a little kid.So what if you weren't (or aren't) that kind of person with them in the beginning but you let MR HYDE come out and play later on?

 

hope I made myself clear if not feel free to ask away.

[iwantmeback]

time has a way of painting pictures a bit rosier.

[resilient7]

Can you make someone forget,sorta make them see you in a different light,can one yield that power,depends on the individual right!

[ImGrowing]

At some point... you start to not care. I'm there now.

 

But, in my case, my ex contacted me after 2 weeks of NC. During the break up, I cried, got on my knees, and begged. I said I'd do anything to make it better, and meant every word. I did this for almost an hour! Exhausting, I know. He said I was pathetic, and what I was doing was unattractive. He kept pointing out my flaws, and I just kept sinking and sinking into the lowest of low self-esteem. It was hard to hear all of this coming from someone you loved. Anyway, he still contacted me, even after saying he usually doesn't stay friends with any of his ex's. He probably did it out of guilt, but I think he probably understood why I reacted that way.

 

The best way to regain your power is to be happy without them. Not spiteful or needy. Just happy Respect yourself, and believe that you too are worth fighting for, and you too deserved to be begged for and cried over. Once you have this mentality, you'll come out a winner. Hold yourself to a higher standard, and continue to be a good person. If you know who you are and what you stand for, you won't need need validation from anyone else. Now, I look back, and I too can laugh at myself. I never thought I'd get to this point.

[Fudgie]

I think people can forgive. The end of a relationship is stressful on many and sometimes we do crazy things.

 

I was stalked at the end of my relationship with a real nutter (yes, he was...that's why I had to leave) and that's the only action I haven't forgiven yet, mostly because it went on for 2 years and he harassed my little sister. I hate that he brought her into his messed up ways.

[Coconut Twin]

The best way to regain your power is to be happy without them. Not spiteful or needy. Just happy Respect yourself, and believe that you too are worth fighting for, and you too deserved to be begged for and cried over. Once you have this mentality, you'll come out a winner. Hold yourself to a higher standard, and continue to be a good person. If you know who you are and what you stand for, you won't need need validation from anyone else. Now, I look back, and I too can laugh at myself. I never thought I'd get to this point.

 

Good advice, bravo! Best mentality to have, really helped speed up the healing process in my last relationship and I'll use it for any future ones that turn out sour...God forbid!

[woodc5]

I do think it's possible to forgive these actions, but if you're wondering whether or not they'll want you back later it depends in my opinion. Here is my reasoning:

 

If the relationship ended with strong feelings for one another, the dumper is more likely to set aside the begging, pleading, and other actions that the dumpee displayed for the mere fact that they still care about the dumpee and may want a relationship with them in the future, just not at the current point in time. If the relationship ended because the dumper lost feelings in the first place, these actions will only push them further away and will cause the dumper to be more reluctant to gain those feelings back if there's any possibility at all.