My father...

[Kaden]

Hello, I am not sure exactly where I should post, I could not seem to find an good location.

Anyay, I am looking for a bit of advice as to what I should do next- Here is my problem. I know it is a bit long, but you will get the picture if you do not read all of it. I have outlined a few particular circumstances, that is most of the length!

Thanks, Kady

 

I have always been terrified if my dad. This is not a teenage thing, it has been going on for years. For the most part, he would chase me up the stairs and down the hall yelling at me and I would slam my door (for which I got in more "trouble"). I would hide somewhere in my room while my dad yelled at me. He never did much to me other than yelling a lot. He drove into me with his car- he was mad (he told me to open the trunk and then he backed up). He slapped my face one or two memorable times, and punched me in the face last year "because I looked stupid".

 

A few years back, someone told me that they thought my dad was an alcoholic and potentially could have helped, but I had never thought of my dad like that, so I didn't know what to say. Since thn have had no contact with this person, and did not get along well with her at all.

 

One winter night (-30 F) he ran into my room and kicked me out of th house. All he kept saying was that I just had to leave. I klept asking 'why' and all of that, but all he said was that I HAD to leave. When I asked where I was to go (no driver's license... in the middle of nowhere), he said he didn't care as long as I wasn't here.

 

Another time when I took my sister to get a movie, I called home to say we would be a little late because Ave forgot her wallet. Dad yelled in the phone at me, calling me irresponsible, imature, and stupid. When I got home, he didn't let me forget the incident and left me crying for days.

 

A few days ago, Ave said that she might be getting an award, Dad said that would be so nice to have one in the house. When Avie said that I had tonnes and that mine were better, Dad said they didn't count.

 

 

I want to know what I can and should do. Never in my life have I done anything wrong. In fact, I have always gone out of my way for my dad to be proud of me. I did things that terrified me to no avail that my dad liked, that way he couldn't see me as pathetic. I never spoke back to him, I could not ask him to "turn the volume down please, I am studying" because that would be TELLING him and I would get in trouble...

 

I guess I just don't know what to do...but I feel I need to do something as I literally just break down. It probably does not sound bad enough in writing, but it is to me.

 

Is this bad enough to do something about? Does this happen to everyone?

 

 

Thank you so much, sorry for its' length.

 

Kady

[tlong8212]

no I dont think this happens a lot. Why does your Dad treat you like that but not your sister? Maybe something happened when you were being born that he never told you about. I dont mean to ask but where is your Mom in all of this? Could she help? Maybe she knows more? Alcoholism is a disease and makes people act in ways in which they dont want to. I'm no doctor but know alot about it. I feel so bad for you b/c I dont know what I would do in that situation. Be as strong as you can and try not to let your father bring you down. You sound like an amazing person and don't let anyone...even your own father...bring you down.

 

If ya ever need someone to talk to about this, I'd be glad to. Take care.

[frail]

Of corse it's important enough to talk about. Always know that your feelings DO matter. Having an alcoholic parent is tough, i know. But i can't think of why on earth your father would single you out like that. Although i have herd of such cases and in which a parent would pick on a particular child. It's not your fault. I guess there are just some parents out there where, there's just no pleaseing them. Maybe your father has a problem with males as weird has that sounds. Does he pick on other males in the family like cousins of yours? My grandmother does that do the all males in my family like my dad, uncle, brother, and cousin. She has some sort of probelm with males... their all evil or something... and whats weird is that my grandpa was a good man. Have you tried talking to your father about how you feel? If he doesn't listen then maybe you should try working on going on in your life without having his help and approval. As hard as it sounds and will probably be, you need to watch out for yourself. You don't need your father holding you down. I wish the best for you.

[Jennyve21]

I would suggest punching your dad in the face and not talking to him for 10 years.. just kidding... No its not normal, ill say that I would get out of there, and trust me the man will regret it. The most important thing you can do is look after yourself and make sure y ou dont turn out like him, cause believe it or not its a cycle and he probably got treated badly by his father.