If you've ever reconciled a friendship, please share your story....

[im sandra dee]

I am interested in hearing from people who have reconciled a friendship. Please share your story with me as it will give me hope. I only hear about the stories where people give up on each other and move on. I haven't heard many happen endings but I know they are out there somewhere and would love to hear them. It would help me with my own loss. I'm interested to know how long after your friendship ended did you reconcile and I'm interested in hearing from men about women friends or women about men friends. I could really use some help in the friendship department and maybe even a little inspiration. How did you reconcile?

[shuttlefish]

We didn't talk for two years. One day we ran into each other randomly. I apologized, she apologized, we agreed that our friendship was worth more. We acknowledged that we still did not see eye to eye regarding what we argued about but that our friendship was bigger than that issue. It was a beautiful day.

[BellaDonna]

I had a falling out with a very close friend several years ago when she became a drug addict. She began pushing everyone away and even being mean so I stopped contacting her. It was too hurtful for me. Several years later (I think 9 years???) she contacted me out of the blue via e-mail (GOOGLE). She had gotten her life back on track and was in a better place mentally and physically. We e-mailed back and forth for a while, catching up, then she asked to meet for lunch and we have been hanging out again ever since.

 

I always worried I would get a call from her mother telling me she was found dead in an alley so I was SO RELIEVED that she was ok and that we were even able to be friends again. I had no closure before.

 

It's odd because even though 9 years went by the friendship just seemed to pick up right where we left off.

[SemperRogue]

Hey,

 

We had an intense 2 year-long relationship. Intense meaning we didn't have time to linger over our time together as we both worked and met when we could. It was something else. We shared just about all aspects of our lives and swore to protect each other until we met again. It got comfortable and we settled into each other like an old married couple. So much so that we casually talked of marriage as not IF but when and what'd we like to have.

 

Many times we talked of Las Vegas and just "doing it!". I stopped it because I knew she was young and she needed family and the special niceties of a first wedding. Instead I gave her money to invest (she was killer on investment opportunities) and told her once the fund matched her wedding expenses and whatnot, that would be day we started talking about setting a date. Silly? Probably.

 

We were together 25 months and then it was over. She had opportunities in her job field and I was paying that much attention to her. My aging parents and their ranch occupied my time, as well as my young boy. I settled for talking to her and trying to make her understand that I loved her and to just be patient. She'd cry and get "clingy" but I could see her withdrawing inside. I stupidly thought her deep love for me would hold until I got things settled. I was wrong. She needed comfort and the safety of a constant companion, I was doing dangerous work and to be honest didn't explain why I couldn't openly do intimate activiities. Long story but she needed that kind of attention.

 

Short story long. She had a friend who had a "friend" and like a greasy doucheking came in and set up shop. He listened attentively, shared her misery about me, offered advice (not good) and told her he'd "wait" for her. The friend stamped her approval on the relationship and it was just a matter of time. My instincts were aware of the situation but I ignored them and hung myself with being the opposite of the doucheking. It came to a head when my boy's mother had to move in to our house as she lost her job and was out in the cold. My girl never believed our relationship was over and convinced herself we were getting back together. Nothing I could say changed her mind. She picked a fight and I was suckered into telling her I wanted a breakup over the phone. The fight was about the doucheking, he was taking her out to a concert with other "friends". LOL. Yeah. I see it now.

 

She slept with him that night and told me a week later. It hurt as bad as it sounds.

 

No contact for about a year. She tried to call me twice and even sent me an email. I deleted it and changed my number. It was a long time and I worked out and missed her soooo much.

 

One day she found my number and called. I was dozing on the couch, exhausted from a long shift so maybe that's why I wasn't angry or cold. We talked for awhile. Never said a word about what happened. Just shared funny moments over the week and said a nice goodbye. She calls once a week or when she needs to and I always answer honestly; I'll call her back - now is not a good time - etc. I make it point to ignore the clock and call her when I'm ready. I think she understands this and never complains about it. We are both very aware that the contact is fragile and can go at any time. I think it helps though as we are diligent about what we say and how it may sound. Some days are quick and some are tense. It's been a good 2 months and I'm okay with things for now. If she never calls again, I'm okay with that as well.

 

There you go.