Afraid im going to break NC soon.

[Trek]

So i've posted a similar story in the getting back together section of these forums, but i just dont know what to do.

 

When my ex left me she went straight to NC except for when i lashed out at her about something, but she told me she understood my situation and that was the last time we exchanged words. We said our goodbyes, but because i was in such a state of desperation that night, i told her things i didnt really mean. I sent her an e-mail a week later trying to be more accepting of the break up, saying i understood why she did it, and how she needs the freedom to do whatever she wants without feeling guilty, and how i needed to break my crutch, my dependence on her. I also said a few silly things, like how i can still hear her voice in the back of my head and what not, which i realize now was a big mistake. But i feel like i want to know where she still stands. She was the one who originally wanted to keep in contact with me.

 

Now fast forward 3 weeks later, 4 weeks after the break up, since i last sent her that e-mail, and its eating me alive. I'm sitting here, wanting to know where she still stands. I dont want her to hate me like she does with some of her previous exs. I mean, she wished me well, told me she hopes everything we experienced and everything she has given me will stick, but a part of me thinks the desperation and a few of the things i did after the BU will make her think otherwise. I feel like she just doesnt care anymore, and that is what's killing me the most. I'm trying really hard not to send her another e-mail, or to send her a message on aim or even text her, but as each day goes by, it gets more and more rough.

[iJester]

She hasn't responded, she stands in the same place and does not care. Go ahead and send her another message, pour it all out and see what happens.

[hero]

If you want her back, do you think by constantly emailing her it will help? Stop it, go full NC as much as it hurts and just see what happens. If you and her are meant to be then it will happen but for now just stick to NC and keep yourself busy. If its meant to be then it will be, as for now just let it go and see what happens, dont always be the first to contact her its not fair to you, just wait.