from dating exclusively to boyfriend/girlfriend

[live_to_love]

hey everyone!

please enlighten me on his situation as i am confused. i'm moving on after a breakup and confusion is the last thing i need, so it would be awesome to at least get this issue figured out. i hope that this will be the first step to get things figured out for good and to be able to move on. thanx for any input! ok, so i was dating this friend of mine for a while. i can't call it real dating due to the distance we faced. i have known him for a couple of years, but we now go to different colleges, so we saw each other a few times, but were forced to use IM and phone calls for most of the time. every time we were togethre it was great! i am so happy to have had the chance to be with him, even though it is now over and i wonder if we did the wrong thing by letting the relationship break. oh well. he told me that he wants us to date exclusively and i said that i'm verry happy because of this. he was very sweet and it seemed like he said it for the both of us. about a month later, we went on a camping trip and it was great. we spent so many hours together... ok...i could go on about this forever, but the point is that i'm confused. i wanted to ask al of you about the realtionship of dating exclusively and being boyfriend/girlfriend in relation to this case. this was my first serious relationship and i am afraid that i made the huge ,mistake of thinking of him as my boyfriend? we never said those words...also, i would love to talk to him about this, but it seems like we lost both a friendship and a relationship due to the breakup, so i can't just calll and talk. please post any thoughts on the realtion between exclusive dating and bf/gf. thank you so much!

[Depressed186]

LIVE TO LOVE-

 

ok, now dont take my word for this but, it seems almost as if you had feelings for him that he did not know about. i have been and i am in the same position you are. you want to talk to him about this, which would be a great idea, it would give you resolution and closure and might, just might bring up feelings that he didnt know he had for you. it could give you something that you wanted, i mean it never hurts to try...

[live_to_love]

thanx fo the reply. yeah...he might of not known about those feelings and it sucks that i don't know if he ever will. it seems like we're both trying to prove to ourselves that we're ok with our decision, that we are moving on...and we said we want to be friends but the fact that we both have feelings makes it hard. also, i think i just realize that that was the past. now it seems like i have them and i don't knowif he does...maybe i lost the chance for anything to happen between us? i think i'll post a separate topic for this question: do you have experience with an ex pretending to be moving on? or with an ex hidig his feelings when you try the "friend" thing?

[GymSweetie]

hi,

i've been friends with this guy for 4 years and then we became more than friends a few months ago. life put us in an intimate situation & we took our friendship to the next level which seemed like the natural progression. we had a minor spiff a couple weeks after & i thought we might lose the special relationship we have built but we are like best friends and the relationship seemed to revert back to friendship quickly. (I told him i love him as a friend -i think this is a good thing as it calmed him down)

 

time passed and neither of us saw anybody else but neither of us consider us to be exclusive either. this went on for 5 months. Still like best friends, but we flirt and joke alot with each other.

 

then it happened...a week & a half ago, life put us into an intimate situation again. again, we took our relationship to the next level. this time, i told him i love him, but he didn't say it back. he knows he is a commitmentphobe. he knows i know it too. but, i told him i'm cool with it. i've seen him once briefly since then. things seem a bit awkward now.

 

i guess the main point i'm trying to convey is that if it's meant to be, it will be. nothing will get between you & the one you love if it's really love. love will find a way.