I am so angry I have to vent.

[k33]

Ok. So my husband walked out a couple of weeks ago. Fine. He's been doing god knows what with god knows who... I am thinking loads of drinking.

 

I am sooooo mad. So he left me with the responsibility of taking care of his sister and her baby when they are in town. They are coming from a long way away and have no where else to stay, because well he hasn't contacted her at ALL.

 

I am so mad for her, I am so mad for me. I did everything for this guy and he can't show the courtesy to contact his sister. Or to contact me. And when he did contact me it was to tell me off for contacting his family. I only contacted his sister because she was coming over to stay with us, and he couldn't be bothered.

 

The man needs help. He's depressed, he's drunk and he needs help. I still love the a** and hope he gets it together, but I am not counting on it, I want him to talk to his sister and yes I do want some information.

I think I deserve that.

 

OOOOH I AM SO MAD!!!

[brokenpogostick]

You have the right to be mad...why did he just leave anyway?

[Meow18]

I would be really mad too. Thats so not fair of him, I can't believe he would do this to you. Its so weird how people who we think love us totally can just get up & do something like this to us. It just shows us that they have no respect at all for others. I would contact his family & ask them whats going on. If his sister comes to visit, talk to her about this. See what they all think about his behavior. You have every right to contact them, you deserve to know whats going on. Hopefully his family can talk some sense into him & at least get him to give you some sort of information.

[k33]

we had been fighting a bunch... mostly over his drinking and acting like a kid... he's almost 40 for god sakes. Almost all of our fights were incredibly stupid. Like you boiled too much water for rice, or you forgot the lighter... he was just looking for reasons to be mad at me.

 

His family has no idea what is going on. His sister wants to do an intervention, because she says that she has never seen him so happy and light since he met me. And now he is throwing it all away. Dumb a**. I am willing to be there for him if he wants to get some counseling and cut WAAAAY back on the drinking. But he is acting like such an immature spoilt kid that I just want to shake him.

 

IF he doesn't see his sister this will ruin their relationship... she's over from AUSTRALIA...not somewhere particularly close...and she is traveling with her baby. Oooh she's mad too. It is ridiculous that he says that I am trying to make his family mad at him... he's doing a dandy job all on his own.

 

I wouldn't let him move back in, the man would have to prove it... But I don't think he would bother, because it is just too much work having someone that loves you and would do anything for you. IT's just too HARD....(can you hear the whine)... It's much easier to be irresponsible and drunk. That's a much better way to live life... ooooh I am so angry...

[woobiegirl]

First, It's not your responsibility to take in his sister & baby, after all...she will probably feel a bit uncomfortable visiting under these conditions anyway. Is it too late to contact her to cancel the trip? If he's mad at you for being responsible by contacting his sister, then tell him they can stay with him, if that's not possible...well, then he's going to need to put them up in a hotel? He's being avaisive, but at the same time doesn't want his sister to know he's in the wrong. I feel sorry for his sister, and unless the two of you are good friends, you really are not responsible.

 

 

As far as the information you're looking for from you husband, ....the signs may have been there for some time, you have just coped with them. It sounds as if he may have some underlying issues (ie depression, perhaps even a drinking problem) ....for some it's easier to run that stand up and face it. Hopefully he has an option to go to the doctor and will take advantage of it & talk about it. Sometimes people get overwelmed, outside pressures from work, stress, money....etc. can break someone. That's the time you need to evaluate what the two of you have had together and whether it would be good for you to stand behind him to overcome his running away.

 

If though, on the other hand he's spent most of your marriage taking and not giving back...well, then he may have done you a favor...as hard as that is to realize now. Think about what YOU want...what do you want for your future, can you have this future with him? Is it going to be constant work and a struggle? Sometimes you just have to let go...no matter how much you love someone, if it's not the right person for YOU...it's doomed to fail at some point.

 

Take care of yourself,

 

feel free to pm any of us if you need to talk.

Woobiegirl

[k33]

I know it's not my responsibility to take care of them, but I really like them and want to see them. He doesn't have any money to put them up in a hotel, and I feel like someone should be there for them. I can't believe it has to be me though. Through the last few weeks I have been trying so hard to keep busy, having the munchkin and that sis around will be fun. That's not my issue, really... a little but not really... the issue is that he isn't acting like an adult and is blaming me for everything.

 

I think he is mortified by his actions and can't face seeing either one of us because he is so obviously in the wrong here. I mean no one could look at the situation and say that I was the predominately wrong one. Sure I've made mistakes. Buuuuut....yeah.

 

I am not making any long term decisions yet, if he wants help, I'll help, I mean I did marry the punk. Sorry I am just so angry I can barely keep from snapping at people here at work... which isn't fair...

[woobiegirl]

You've found the perfect place to vent your heart out...

 

Good for you by being the "bigger/better" person and showing respect for his family. No purpose in making others suffer for his actions. Good you're keeping busy and like you said, you'll enjoy their company, the real issue is his leaving. So how long have the two of you been married? Any idea what may have sent him over the edge and leave?

 

Wise decision not to make any rash decisions right now, that time will come soon enough & in the meantime keep very busy and give him some time to miss you.

 

Keep your cool at work, and take care of yourself! Better to vent on this site than to co workers...they NEVER seem to forget this stuff after you've long worked it out.

 

Woobiegirl

[k33]

Oh I am giving him space... I just can't believe he is disrespecting his sister who he adores and her lovely toddler, who she taught to say his name and everything.

 

We were married one year 18 days when he left, which of course was 12 days after our delayed "honemoon" to Mexico. Such a sweetie. grrrrrr. The only thing that could piss him off is that I said that he shouldn't drink so much. And he shouldn't.

 

I am not making any decisions... he's got the ball in his court now.

 

Trying to leave it out of work, I only have one friend I vent to. And I think she is getting bored. I know I am!