shes told everyone she wants nothing to do with me at all ever. 1 chil & 1 on the way. i need help!

[Leon91]

right, s**t has really hit the fan over the past few days.

basicall people who know my story can skip the 1st bit but others:

 

6 years together

1 child - 10 months

child two on the way- due may 2011

social services involved as me & ex always rowed and i was made out to be dangerous!?

and am not allowed to see my daughter other than two hours a week with a social worker.

 

 

well. i have not long ago been informed that my ex has told the social that:

she wants nothing to do with me, dosnt want to see or speak to me ever again and wants me gone from her life!!

so they have told her not to contact me or reply to any contact i make.

they have even seperated meetings which should be for:

 

me

her

both our parents

social services

solicitors

health visitors.

 

all to attend at the same time and meeting so everyone is aware of what everyone says and wants and expects.

 

now they have made my familys one separate to hers so that i can not see/speak to her.

for all know they could plan/scheme/do/say, ANYTHING while im not present or my family & solicitor. and then say totally different in my meeting.

they have been found to be doing this plenty of times on home visits.

like saying to my ex, stay away dont speak to him bla bla

then to me: she wants to be a family, is scared, wants you to do what we ask and that

but leave her for a while.

even though at that time we were both in contact and were together and wanted to be a family - that was the end goal, to prove we could do it and get the social to agree.

we would do what they asked and then when they were happy we were able to manage, we would be sorted.

 

but now it seems that shes totally over me, and thats that.

she has no friends other than me because of the way she ignores everybody and just dosnt bother with anything or anyone. dosnt use internet, never calls/texts or replys to anyone.

and tells lies constantly.

so everyone has abbandoned her and she dosnt care.

but i stayed with her through everything as i love her and really wanted to stand by and help her change from the reclusive & liar she was.

 

i know she never cheated on me during our relationship and did love me.

and thats what made me return the love and stick by to help and become the family we should have been.

 

i lost everything for her, friends, work, school, because i knew she was worth it. ( well i know now that was a mistake )

 

my ex was told a few months ago that:

i was to see my daughter under supervision of social worker and she could go to as a family.

if my ex was to be seeing me someone would need to look after my daughter

but me and my ex were free to see eachother providing my daughter wasnt there too.

 

.. but she couldnt even be botherd trying.

she would go to the contact centre and we would all have the contact for two hours.

 

but then it was arranged that the evenings on day of contact me and her would spent the night at mine and her mother would babysit our daughter. - i was fine with this.

but my ex always cancelled. always!

id sit in and wait, try call/text.. nothing then it would all be too late.

 

she will happily turn her phone off for weeks at a time as other than me, nobody contacts her. so i have to go weeks of worrying aboit her and my daughter!

 

we found out recently that she was pregnant again and i promised that:

i would do any/every course i could that the social suggested, i would push and prove that i can be a father and a family and am not a danger.

and do it all before the baby was born so we could live together and sort our life out as a family.

 

but she couldnt care less.

she has residence of my daughter and will with the next baby unless i do something

to prove im not dangerous - which im waiting to find out WHAT they want me to do so i can do it.

( this is supposed to be sorted in meetings together - the ones they now have sperated )

 

i guess im now not gonna be invited to any

docs appointments/scans/classes or even the birth and she probably wont let me sign the birth register so im recognised as the father.

 

i dont understand why she would do this all? why make this so much harder?

i have been there through everything and anything and do everything i can.

 

im not allowed out with friends or even to leave my house.

if i do. she blanks me, ( usualy for a night ) but so far nearly a week!

 

because instead of going cinema like we planned, she canceled so i arranged to see my friends before they went to UNI a few hours drive away and wouldnt see them for a while.

so ever since she has blanked everything.

and has now told the social that she wants nothing to with me and thats that.

 

 

what on earth do i do, where do i start? im just confused and to be honest very upset

as i love her with all my heart!

and unless she contacts me, ill never speak to her as she wouldnt answer if i tried.

[iBroken]

She told social services that she wants nothing to do with you and they are complying? Even as she is pregnant? And you are the father of her child?

 

This whole situation seems shady.....and lacks information.

 

p.s. Get that paternity test ASAP.

[Leon91]

She told social services that she wants nothing to do with you and they are complying? Even as she is pregnant? And you are the father of her child?

 

This whole situation seems shady.....and lacks information.

 

p.s. Get that paternity test ASAP.

 

 

exactly!

they shouldnt be able to make it so i cant contact her, as they cant have any influence or help anyone over 18 as its thier life!

 

so i wont ever know even if she keeps my child.

its so hard to cope with never knowing how my daughter is.

not being able to even speak to the mother of my child.

and now not even knowing if im still having another baby!

 

ill try the test but even with proof its mine. unless she lets me sign the birth reg, i cant go on. leaving me as many rights to the child as my next door neighbour would have - none.

and she can just turn around and say no. or it isnt his. bla bla . like the person she is - she would pull that one. just to escape me knowing if i have another child or not.

 

its all very shady - especially now as ill never be sure whats really been said/planned.

[lostnscared]

You know--I'm not trying to be mean but are your really surprised this has happened? I've been reading your threads, that you've posted within the last month or so, and this relationship is highly dysfunctional. You guys just got back together a few weeks ago, and now it's over again. And in June you were posting about how she tried to keep you from your child. It seems like it always resorts to "this"--her reporting you to social services and keeping you from your children, and you being angry and wanting to find a way to get past the legal system. Then you two get back together again, and so it begins... You have two children, you both are under age 21, and you both can't seem to stay together long enough to make it work. I think the relationship has run it's course, and she is too immature to handle sharing a child with you. At this point I wonder if this second baby is even yours. I would get a paternity test, and take her to court to see about joint custody so that she can stop this mess and stop trying to keep you from your children when she gets mad at you. I would also cut your losses and move on from her--your relationship with her just seems beyond fixable.

 

I wish you luck

[Leon91]

no, im not suprised - i have come to expect it. ( same as everybody who has ever known her )

she uses me when she wants something. then as soon as i give in and let my guard down, bam.. back to square 1

 

the first four years were bliss to be fair nothing like this. this all started not long after she gave birth mainly. but she started becoming akward just before that.

she has been diagnosed with severe depression but she dosnt care - its an excuse to her!

 

she admited herself that:

1. she cant separate the love of me from our daughter - meaning, she cant understand the love i have for her is and always will be different to the love of my children

2. she cant handle the fact that regardless of "us" im still my daughters father - she says openly that if she cant have it all , then i cant have anything.

3. she cant cope and struggles and wishes i could just have our daughter for good. ( of course this soon changes in meetings when shes "never said that!" )

 

its all mind games from her and yes her immatuity is beyond a joke. shes nearly 19 and still will go days without bathing or brushing her teeth!

she sits in her bed 24/7

ok. i must be fair and recognise that the depression could well have a role in this behaviour. as she was always fresh, clean, happy in the first years!

 

we have applied to courts but until social do reports they cant do a thing - court hearing will be on the 16th november - when the reports are finished.

in the mean time i have to do everything i can to prove im safe and capable.

 

so until im deemed "safe" she has residence of the children, and although we share equal parental rights, its usually biased toward her - leaving her to play games with it all!

 

i will cut my losses.. i do love her. way more than i ever thought i would! i know shes no good for me! but its hard.

it seems such a long tunnel. to get over a breakup, whilst fighting for children.

 

any reasonable mature adult would be able to just say:

were through, but.. for the children we must remain amicable. we can sort out contact between us, and make it easy for the children to know both parents and feel equally loved by both parents.

 

but not her.. ohh no!