i want to lay down and die...

[DN]

Unless he has the courage to talk to you and tell you then you are getting nowhere - the ball really is in his court.

[LOLA MD]

thanks DN, you're right the ball is in his court.

[2kids]

Hang in there Lola...I too am waiting to hear the truth instead of lies and it never comes as fast as you want. Calm down and take time to look in the mirror. I did and decided I wasn't happy with me. I am doing something about it and standing my ground. Life has a lot of karma in it, seems like your guy doesn't get that...mine doesn't either. You didn't say anything wrong to him on your messages...he was probably just seeing if you were becoming more clear to yourself and I think you are. Like I said hang in there...DN...you are right on!

[LOLA MD]

thanks 2kids for the kind words. im sorry that you too are suffering from a similar situation i hope it all works out in the end for the both of us.

[thejigsup]

Oh Honey, I had a bf do something like this once. It's a form of control. They try to play with your head to get your crawling back to them so they can treat you however they want. He wants you to crawl back to him and if you do, he will keep mistreating you and playing mind games with you like this. Don't let him do that, please!

[LOLA MD]

On the drama goes....

 

I didn't text, call.

 

He texted me, asking me how I was and how I forgot about him already.

 

I tried something new... because I am desperate... I guess.

 

I said I was great and told him he told me to forget him.

 

I don't know why, I was trying to show him I am fine without him and somehow regain my dignity after all that crying/begging.

 

He said, god forbid I ever say something like that to you.

 

I forwarded the text in which he ACTUALLY did say that.

 

He said okay if I said that, obviously I am not sure I had a reason to say that...

 

I didn't understand what this meant.. was he admitting he wasn't sure anymore if what he was being told was true?

 

I asked him what he meant..

 

He didn't respond.

 

I didn't contact him.

 

My aunt is telling me to let it go...she said our men (men from our culture) don't like to fight and to just ride it out and eventually he will come to me and tell me.

 

Well, yeah neither do I. But if he EVEN THINKS FOR ONE MINUTE that I am going to act like nothing happened and that I am going to let it go..he is seriously insane.

 

I just want him to say, "Ok, so and so told me this..." or "I lied about the whole thing because ... "

 

I mean is it that hard.. I mean text it if you can't say it but just let me know...

 

Why is the truth so HARD?

 

I know what he wants.. and I am not going to get back together with him unless I know the truth.. What hurts and what we need to work on:

 

A) his trust issues

B) his poor communication skills in a difficult time

C) all the hurtful things he said

 

I am so TIRED.. everyday I am on my toes.. at the edge... it's just tell me the truth so we can work it out.... why is it so hard?

 

Every time I get a text, it makes me sick.. I don't know what to say, if I say one thing I am wrong and get no where, if I say another thing I am WRONG and I get no where..

 

What do I do? What do I say to make him realize that talking to me about everything will be best?

[shessofly]

i really don't think you need to have another conversation with him until he's ready to tell you the story about how he came to this conclusion. until then, i'd offer him silence. in no way should he expect you to blow this off and keep up with all the small talk.

[LOLA MD]

i dont know...