girl communication of emotions- **PLEASE GIVE ADVICE FAST

[cage209]

To everyone out there, I need your help really quickly and badly. Let me tell you the situation. I'm 18 years old and my girlfriend is almost 16. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while as a couple, and had been really close friends for 2 months prior to going out. Over the time as friends and as a couple, we have seriously spent 5-6 days a week together for hours & hours at a time. We are close to each other to say the very least. In any event, about a week ago, we had this awesome night together that ended with us telling each other that we loved each other (I told her I loved her first, if that makes a difference). Anyway, it's now a week later, we hang out just as much, and I still tell her that I love her on a more or less daily basis. She, however, doesn't return the statement whatsoever. She is also the kind of girl that isn't necessarily into a heavily physical relationship (which is totally fine & we've discussed... we're both virgins and will remain that way until marriage) although we have made out on several occasions. In any event, due to this & because she hasn't really said "I love you" back lately, I can't read her emotions or know how she truly feels. Earlier today, I told her I loved her as I was leaving & she didn't say it in return although she smiled and grabbed my hand before saying goodbye for the last time. I got a sad look on my face, however, and she said "I love you." I responded "Really?" and she returned with "NO!... just kidding, you know I love you!" What does this mean people? Does she really love me? Is it just her youthfulness that makes her shy about saying it & being more open? I'd really like to hear from everyone, but especially girls in that age group (15-17) if possible. Please help me, people, I truly love this girl and need to know what she feels deep down. E-mail me back at email removed or reply to this message or send an AOL instant message to: VstaPnthr . Thanks in advance!

Chris

[Mercutio]

I'm a guy. I'm 26 years old and horribly introverted (shy).

 

Let me tell you a couple things: 1.) "I love you" is a REALLY heavy statement. It may imply more to her than it does to you, and she may be more cautious about saying it because of some connotation in her mind. It can also take a while to get used to hearing.

"I love you" is like a promise. It's not something to be said lightly.

 

2.) I spent years with my "ex" under much the same circumstance as you're in now, before we became romantic. I was *never* able to read her feelings. Maybe it's a guy thing or a defect in intuition (she seemed to think the latter). At any rate, she expected it and I just couldn't do it either.

Women in the US are very much raised to not be vocal about the things that they want. Body language and facial expression become part of their communication, much moreso than the more-than-willing to vocalize their needs men.

In short, you need to talk to her, ask her what she wants, if you can't figure things out on your own. She just might not have the make-up to tell you directly.

[emmykins]

I'm a girl and I'm 17. I think that she does love you, or rather cares about you strongly... Maybe she hasn't realised just yet how deeply you're in love and maybe she has but is afraid of it. I think that she's scared of telling you how she feels. Not necessarily because of her age, but because she's shy and maybe confused - chances are she's never felt it before and perhaps she's scared of serious relationships. Maybe she expected it to be light-hearted when you started going out.

 

Either way, "I love you" is a very bold statement to make. It means the relationship suddenly becomes far more serious/heavy, and maybe she likes it being as laid-back as it was.

 

Personally I'm impressed with her hesitance to say it back. I've had plenty of boyfriends who've said "I love you" and didn't mean it and, trust me, that's far more hurtful. Perhaps her reluctance to say it is due to the fact that she doesn't wanna get your hopes up if she doesn't feel it. So she's probably been thinking about it a lot since you first said it, trying to work out in her head exactly what she feels before telling you. I think that the fact she doesn't wanna get your hopes up shows that she truly does care, so just give her time and don't worry about it for now. If, after a few months, she still won't say it, maybe it's time to rethink the relationship. Good luck!

 

(By the way, i know this post is really old... so if you read this, pm me and let me know what's happened since, cos i'm really curious!)