help me get my EXBF back!

[Mulan]

Hi. I am new to EnotAlone and would like some advice from y'all about how I can get my exboyfriend back. Let me fill you in on what's been happening this past year.

 

Erik and I dated in the fall and the relationship ended around Christmas time '03. He broke it off saying that I was always putting him on the hotseat and yet mentioned that he will always love me as a person and that will never change. he also said that he still wanted to be friends. yeah i know its the typical line but that's that. so we kept our distance for some months during the spring when we were both at different universities (he was at UCBerkeley and i was at UCSD). Well Erik and I met while working together at a restaurant in our hometown. Well its summer and we're both back working at that same restaurant. We've since talked, hugged, laughed and such. He's with another girl now and I just came off another relationship.

 

And the folks at the restaurant, esp the female waitresses/hostesses, are notorious for their gossip. I'm sure you've all dealt with that in your own lives. and boy does it suck! it especially sucks cuz Erik and i are the center of their gossip for some reason and again Erik feels like he's on the hot seat... Which is NO good. Right? And as a result of the tension, he blows up and gets mad at me...

 

Well to make a long story short, Erik said on Tuesday that he wants to still be friends. He seemed sincere so i agreed to give our friendship another whirl. But frankly I'm feeling very standoffish and guarded right now. I don't want my feelings toyed with and I don't want to have to hurt again. But ladies and gents, I got to admit I got it BAD for my exboyfriend. I've tried over the past 7 or so months to put a kabosh on it.

 

So what does everyone say??? do you think that there is a way that i can be friends w/ my ex? get him back? and if so... HOW??? i'd love to hear anything y'all have to share... PLZ SHARE!!!!!!!!!!

[evepm]

Dear Mulan:

 

It doesn't sound like Erik wants anything more than friendship. It's very difficult to be friends with your ex under the best circumstances. Even more difficult when one person wants more. I would suggest (eventhough you work together) that you implement a no contact rule for the time being. I think you need to really sort out your feelings. It doesn't sound as if Erik wants more than friendship so I think that you may be setting yourself up to get hurt.

 

Try to remove yourself from him as much as possible for the time being and maybe somewhere done the line you could try to be friends with him. Hope my words help.

 

Peace and blessings to you,

evepm

[Mulan]

surely there is always some sort of way/hope to rekindle the flame? some ppl at work have even told me they think that he still loves me and that is why he's so conflicted when hangin' with me ~ he is one moment chatting up a storm w/ me for 30 minutes in the parking lot after closing and the next minute he's yelling at me...

 

does anyone out there not think that there is some sort of hope/way? I'd love any sort of positive comment... Thanks!

 

~ Dina Lynne

[danimal77]

Mulan,

 

Read my posts and you'll find that there indeed is a way. It's too late over here to go into it, but you can send me a pm (personal message) and we'll talk.

 

Danimal

[Mulan]

thanks danimal77,

i just sent u a PM... i'll look forward 2 hearing from u... anyone else that wants to share, plz do.

 

~ dina lynne