Broke 3 months of NC today :(

[DeenasRhino]

I cracked and broke NC today. I just started school and feel so alone now that we're not together. She used to be there for me to talk to and now I have nobody. Last year I would go home every weekend for her and today I am back home and there's nothing at home for me.

 

I sent her a text today. Basically saying good luck at her new college and thanks for the memories. I haven't heard a reply from her and don't think I will.

 

I feel better now though. I know that she's not the same person I fell in love with. She is different. She is so cold now and has changed so much. We used to be so in love and now we are enemies. It was my birthday yesterday and I she didn't even bother to say a thing.

 

It just stumps me how someone you've known for 4 years and dated for 2 can just cut you out of their life like that. I wish I knew what was going on in her head. It's been 3 1/2 months since we broke up and I'm not over her yet. I was doing so much better before going back to college and now all the memories of school just remind me of her. I'm still in love with her and want her but that won't ever happen. I know I need to move on but it's just so hard to do. It feels like I'm back to day 1 of the breakup all over again.

[SocialStigma]

I'm sorry Hopefully you'll be able to keep busy with school and meet some new people to keep you distracted from your ex. Moving on always involves some setbacks, but it will be easier to recover from this one because you've done it before.

[sunday2010]

Hey wow I'm 4 months out

and still nto doing good had some more setbacks..

 

I never got a thing from my ex after the B/U and thats early june.no birthday anything or wishes thats when i knew wow it was so so over...

 

You just have to forget that she never wished you anything because what I've really found is the ex;s they become very very cold... so cold below zero...

 

Hey I'm not a great example that it will get better but you know maybe the school memories are the prob...

[DeenasRhino]

Hopefully you'll be able to keep busy with school and meet some new people to keep you distracted from your ex.

 

I thought that would be the case but ever since I've gotten back on campus I just can't stop thinking about her. During class we used to text and it's just so awkward now And when I'm in my dorm room there's no more phone calls or texts or webcams

[bart]

I thought that would be the case but ever since I've gotten back on campus I just can't stop thinking about her. During class we used to text and it's just so awkward now And when I'm in my dorm room there's no more phone calls or texts or webcams

 

This is exactly what has happened to me. And it doesn't help that my classes are boring, so my mind even has time to wander to my ex during class. I just force myself to pay significant attention during class, and that usually helps to not think about the texting. You really just have to force yourself to get out there and meet people, that way you won't be in your dorm often, and won't have as much time to think of your ex.

 

I remember reading one of your posts, and you said something about being in college with your friends, and that when you're with your friends you have no time to think about your ex. What happened to that? Are you living with your friends?

[amandamarie]

I think it is totally normal to experience these setbacks like this. I often found though that these moments of pain were often followed by a period of letting go more. I think it comes in waves actually, and you let go a little bit at a time. I know its hard, what you are feeling right now is probably helping you to let go a little more, and then I would wager that you are going to feel better than you did before, if only a little.

 

I know that for me personally, when my ex did not contact me on my birthday after being together for 4 years - it was a real turning point for me. I was really depressed for a few weeks after that, but that moment in time, when I realized that I wasn't important enough to him to even say happy birthday to, really paved the way to me feeling much better.

[sunday2010]

same thing for me 4 yrs together nearly and i meant so little

[amandamarie]

same thing for me 4 yrs together nearly and i meant so little

 

You know what though sunday? And everyone else too...as much as it hurts right now, I can honestly tell you that you get to a point where you just don't care that much anymore yourself. If you look at my posts from even a few months ago, I never thought I would get to the point I am now, where I really just don't care anymore, and where I am actually excited to meet someone new. It took me a year to get there, but it happened. And it will happen for alll of you as well, you just have to hang in there and try to help yourself

[sunday2010]

You know what though sunday? And everyone else too...as much as it hurts right now, I can honestly tell you that you get to a point where you just don't care that much anymore yourself. If you look at my posts from even a few months ago, I never thought I would get to the point I am now, where I really just don't care anymore, and where I am actually excited to meet someone new. It took me a year to get there, but it happened. And it will happen for alll of you as well, you just have to hang in there and try to help yourself

 

hey thanks for the encouragement i really needed it... I want that nochalance ya know that who gives a toss kind of attitude i know it will come i get glimpes of it now already , my ex has acted very cold and horrible from the moment we broke up.It made me realise he was acting alot during our relationship.That it was all FAKE....

[DeenasRhino]

This is exactly what has happened to me. And it doesn't help that my classes are boring, so my mind even has time to wander to my ex during class. I just force myself to pay significant attention during class, and that usually helps to not think about the texting. You really just have to force yourself to get out there and meet people, that way you won't be in your dorm often, and won't have as much time to think of your ex.

 

I remember reading one of your posts, and you said something about being in college with your friends, and that when you're with your friends you have no time to think about your ex. What happened to that? Are you living with your friends?

 

I'm living with my friends but there are times throughout the day which I am alone. Like last night, all my friends went out to a party and I didn't really feel like going out so I just stayed in the dorm. I was so sad and lonely

[404]

Hey DH -- just want to say a couple things.

 

1) I'm sorry. It sounds like this was someone you really connected with - someone that made things better for you. It sucks to have that taken away. Actually sucks is a terrible word for it... gut wrenching is closer.

 

2) Don't feel bad for breaking nc. Its not a rule, its a suggestion - something that tends to help but ultimately is kind of a mind-hack. What you did was kind and deserved a reply.

 

3) Don't give up. Grit your teeth, clench your fists... survive this fiasco a while longer and know that if you met a girl like this once, you can do it again and next time you'll be that much stronger and more experienced.

 

4) Better yourself. Fight how you feel - do the things everyone here knows to do: work out, stand in the sun, smile even if you don't feel like it. Keep your head up and your eyes open. Learn something new. Put one foot in front of the other until you meet someone who fills that void again and don't give up until we tell you to or we'll hunt you down

[sunday2010]

Great post... we got to keep going....

[DeenasRhino]

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

 

I am kind of pissed off that she didn't reply. It's just so strange. The girl that I know would never do this to me. I honestly don't know what is going on. It's like she is a completely different person.

 

I'm going to fight my feelings again. I was fine for 3 months before this and I guess there was just too much pressure on me this week and too many memories so I let up.

[deecbee]

I have a roommate who just dumped her boyfriend last weekend. She told me that even though she still cares for him and loves him, she has no choice but to be cold and distant towards him. There are a few reasons for this:

 

- If she is too warm, open, and available, he will not take the breakup seriously and will hold onto hope, and that is not fair to him if she has no intention of getting back with him.

 

- She is afraid that she will go back to her old feelings about him. Being cold is as much about protecting her own heart as it is yours.

[DeenasRhino]

I guess I see where your friend is coming from. It's just tough and I'm not sure what to think about the whole situation. She never ignored me before in the past and all of a sudden she treats me like an enemy. We used to be bestfriends and everything. I guess deep down I just miss my friend.

[Starrgrl]

Yeah the friendship is what i miss too. My bday too yesterday lol, i got no text or anything either. Not a disappointment ... knowing him .. he forgot lol.

[DeenasRhino]

Yeah the friendship is what i miss too. My bday too yesterday lol, i got no text or anything either. Not a disappointment ... knowing him .. he forgot lol.

 

Happy Birthday

 

I was kind of disappointed that she didn't bother to say anything but I feel fine about it now. She's not obligated to do anything for me now. I'm starting to accept it.

[bart]

I'm living with my friends but there are times throughout the day which I am alone. Like last night, all my friends went out to a party and I didn't really feel like going out so I just stayed in the dorm. I was so sad and lonely

 

Yeah, just go with them next time. Even if you don't feel like it. (Most of the time I feel like staying in as well!)

 

But, if you don't force yourself to get out and go somewhere, you're going to be left alone as you were last night and left to over-think and analyze things, and that's never good.

 

I really feel for you because when I used to see your posts you seemed so positive, and I was jealous of the progress you were making. Don't let this little setback ruin all you've worked on.

[DeenasRhino]

Yeah, just go with them next time. Even if you don't feel like it. (Most of the time I feel like staying in as well!)

 

But, if you don't force yourself to get out and go somewhere, you're going to be left alone as you were last night and left to over-think and analyze things, and that's never good.

 

I really feel for you because when I used to see your posts you seemed so positive, and I was jealous of the progress you were making. Don't let this little setback ruin all you've worked on.

 

Yeah I know. I was doing so much better during the summer before school started. I thought school would help take my mind off of her but it had a complete reverse effect. I'm at home right now and it still feels really strange because she's not there to talk to anymore.