Started to dream of him again... :(

[SmilingKatty]

As the title says, I have just started to dream of him again...

we are broken up for almost 5 months and during the last two weeks I felt better (I have moved to another city, met a lot of new people, I am starting a very demanding study program etc...). But now it seems like everything is coming back... I have dreamed of him two times in row and I just feel so helpless...

Does any of you have any experience with getting rid of unwanted dreams?

[Ryme]

I'm never sure what to make of dreams. Are they just random, are they messages from our subconscious? Can they all be analysed, or should some just be dismissed?

 

When I was fifteen, I had a crush on one of my schoolteachers. I still dream about him to this day - at least three or four times a month. The dreams usually have a very mild sexual element - kissing, usually. He rarely crossed my mind in the day, yet I still dream about him, 17 years later! I'm not sure why, but they're enjoyable dreams so I can live with that.

[TSandullo]

Hey Katty.

 

Dreams are just dreams IMHO and they appear randomly regardless of what emotional state you may be and whatever period in your life.

 

Whether you have had two consecutive dreams of your ex, IT IS NOT A SETBACK.

 

So don't feel helpless. You are perfectly normal.

 

Perhaps, years from now, when you are happily in a relationship with someone, you may still have these dreams.

 

I doubt you'll be feeling so helpless then eh?

 

Take care dear.

 

TS

[SmilingKatty]

Thank you for replies! It helped a lot...

The problem is, that the dreams remind me of him and I really don´t need that at all right now...

[TSandullo]

I really don´t need that at all right now...

 

Trust me. I know how it feels.

 

Two nights ago I awoke with a beating heart, a sweaty brow and a damp chest.

 

I had just dreamed of my ex. We have been broken up for nearly 8 months. My first love.

 

The thoughts linger for a while. Then you are okay again.

 

If you want, you can consider the dreams as part of the healing process. That way, they won't be as daunting when they reappear.

 

You'll be fine. It is not as if the dreams will debilitate you from functioning properly in the new study program. You are a toughy.

 

TS

[SmilingKatty]

I had just dreamed of my ex. We have been broken up for nearly 8 months. My first love.

 

TS

 

how long were you together?

 

 

You'll be fine. It is not as if the dreams will debilitate you from functioning properly in the new study program. You are a toughy.

 

TS

 

Thanks, now I will have a phrase to use, when I wake up after such a dream: "I am a toughy"

[TSandullo]

how long were you together?

 

Rather than answering the together bit, I would say we were in each others lives for a turbulent....nah, wait, 6 months, she lost feelings, we worked on it (bless her) for a year, but no feelings, then a guy appeared who she had feelings for, I stepped back, after exams we talked, wanted it to work, tried for a month, back together again, 5 months, then things went downhill again, I knew it was going to end and what was going to happen next....it all happened as I thought.

 

 

We were wonderful with one another, but I have rejected friendship much to her sadness. I miss her daughter more now.

 

So there! My story in a nutshell!

 

Now, no more threadjacking!

 

"I am a toughy"

 

ATTAGIRL!!!!

 

TS

[lavenderdove]

You brain pulls in random images to weave a story in dreams. It uses things from both memory and imaginings to weave a new story.

 

Now the dream is an attempt to work thru some problem, fear, or desire in your subconscious. So rather than grabbing onto the memory of your ex after a dream, start analyzing why you had the dream to begin with. Go over the dream and try to figure out what it represents.

 

Perhaps you were feeling lonely and your brain brought him forward as a symbol of needing companionship. If that is the case, then remind yourself what you need to do is go out there and start meeting new guys and people so that you're not lonely and your brain won't dredge him up again becuase you're lonely.

 

Or you're anxious for some reason, and the breakup itself is part of what makes you anxious. So handle that in a healthy way by getting exercise or doing relaxation things that reduce anxiety. Then your brain won't be anxious and dredge him up as a symbol of anxiety.

 

So try to analyze the dream in terms of what is going on in your present life (not the past) that might need to haul him out as a symbol of something. Then you focus on the dream and fixing what is bothering you rather than focusing on him as a person and the pain from the breakup. He's a symbol in your dreams now, that's all. Try to solve the problems that require him as a symbol in the dreams, and you'll stop dreaming about him, or only do so very infrequently.

[LarsWB]

Yeah....I know that feeling. Well.

 

I had a crazy dream last night in fact, that included her. Very vivid. Woke in with my heart broken all over again. Doesn't happen every night, but when it does...the next day is just terrible and there's no shaking it.

Just has to pass.

 

I wonder if she dreams about me.

[SmilingKatty]

He's a symbol in your dreams now, that's all. Try to solve the problems that require him as a symbol in the dreams, and you'll stop dreaming about him, or only do so very infrequently.

 

you are completely right in all you have written, thank you

 

Yeah....I know that feeling. Well.

 

I wonder if she dreams about me.

 

I don´t wonder - I know he doesn´t ... Good thing is, that it doesn´t make me so sad anymore...