Respond?

[SA2000]

My ex texted mr on Friday night. She said she wanted to meet and talk and that he would call me Sunday. I got no call. She just texted me "I remember I baked u a cake for ur birthday. It was really good. I ate the whole thing in three days-u didn't have a single piece. Lol". I told her that we shouldn't talk if we aren't going to work things out a week ago. She said she needed time to think. I told her I didn't want to play any games. Do I even respond to this?

[vertigoxo]

No. She's being passive-aggressive. Delete and ignore.

[tingkong]

Man I'm sorry that you have to deal with the back and fourth. Stay strong.

[majorgeek]

The other guys on here are right. She's playing with you. It doesn't mean she doesn't still care for you...but it seems like she wants you to want her, more than she wants you. I hate that kind of thing. It really sucks. Stay strong.

[SA2000]

Didn't respond. She called. We talked for 45 minutes. She said she misses me alot but is scared. She doesn't feel like anyone else gets her like I do. We ended with her saying she guesses she'll talk to me in a month or so. I didn't want to talk that long. She also said she has some stuff to drop off. I told her to donate it. She said she will just leave it on my porch if it's a big deal. We reallyiss each other but missing someone doesn't fix problems. Thanks for the responses!

[bwhite00]

Homie, I'm 3/4 the way through the mutually agreeable month my ex and I set aside where I wouldn't contact her. She needed 'space' but told her to contact me if she wanted to talk and it's been disasterous for me mentally.

 

The waiting... then getting some weak, insignificant text finally... Replying... No response.... Etc.

 

Miserable. It's making me miserable. The problem is: I'll go 10 days without talking to her and she'll text me because she senses I don't care. As soon as I reply... She goes back to being ice cold.

 

I love this girl but this isn't love; this is elementary.

 

I have to cut her off. No more replying to her texts at the expense of my own self-esteem. I am going 100% NC.

 

I did the whole LC & NiC thing and it prolongs the pain. Three months is enough 'space' to decide if you want to be with someone ( and we did date briefly in that period of time just to have her bail again-AGONY).

 

Do yourself a favor, don't answer her calls. Don't reply to her texts. And I know it's hard to do this if you love someone and you think they'll hate you - but honestly my ex hating me is better than dealing with this insanity.

 

NO CONTACT.

[bwhite00]

It's like DN says 'If they wanted to be with you, then they would be with you'. Period. No exceptions.

 

As the dumpee why should we torment ourselves further post-BU? Didn't they hurt us enough when they left us? Why put up with the mixed-signals, passive-aggressive, childish nonsense when we've already had to suffer losing someone we loved.

 

I am fully prepared to never speak-to or acknowledge this girls existence, ever, again. She had my unequivocal love and loyalty. It wasn't enough, apparently she wanted my self-respect as well. And each time I reply, I give a little of it away.

 

I'm not doing permenant NC to 'punish' her, I'm doing it to STOP PUNISHING MYSELF over a failed relationship.

 

Don't let her torment you. Let go.

[SA2000]

Bwhite00 I agree with you. I texted her today saying that I would meet up with her Thursday to get the things of mine that she has. After that I will play it cool. She has been contacting me about twice a week. I have contacted her once since the break up on 8/1.

 

We talked last night. She said she was still unsure about how she felt. She said she misses me but is still upset about little stupid things. I told her that if she didn't know by now she will never know and that we should just leave it be. She said she guesses she will talk to me in a month or whatever. I told her that thats on her.

 

After I see her Thursday, which I will try to keep pretty short, she will have no reason to contact me. And she knows that I won't call her. So basically that will be the end of things.

 

...Until she calls in a few days again.