How can I let it go?

[Blue Skittles]

Heres my story - My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple months. If it was just that - this break up would not be so hard. But the fact is, we have been best friends for a year. And right now friendship is not something that CANT happen between us.

 

We never ever had fights, we always got along, we had a blast hanging out together, and one day I called him cuz I had a bad day. Maybe he couldn't handle me being emotional about it, or maybe he just didn't care.

He told me he did not want to be with me, that he did not love me anymore, and put an end to our relationship. He added that i was his "very best friend, his best friend ever".

 

I went on to ask him questions "why" the sudden change in feelings, "did he meet another girl?", "did I do something wrong?", "why am I not good enough?" and he did not have an answer. He just said it just didn't feel right.

 

I've been through enough. I've put up with enough lies, broken promises, and I've done nothign but treat him with utmost love and respect. Thats why this break up hurt so much. I just didn't see it coming. And he did it over the phone.

 

I guess my biggest problem is in ignoring him and letting him go. Its going to be hard not to be friends since we used to hang out all the time and he is still going to want to hang out. Its going to take a lot of strength on my part. Any advice?

[fmfisdead]

To be honest with you, i dont know how much of a best friend he is, if he is gonna freak out about you getting emotional. thats what friends are for, to be there for someone. that being said, you need to do anything necessary to move on, and your right you probably wont be friends for right now. You need to not see him and hang out with him, if he was your honest friend, he would understand this, and let you be to get over it all, and explain to him that in this time dont bother with me. Hanging out with him and all that isnt going to get you anywhere, and the feelings will stay. hope this helped in some way, pm me for anything else you need.

[brokenpogostick]

not sure why he would do that...but, i agree with the previous post, you need some time to yourselves. i'm thinkin that maybe you guys weren't as good of friends as you thought you were if he came down with all this just because you got emotional one day. he's supposed to be your person to lean on, the person to be there when you need them regardless if he's your bf or just your friend...he let you down

[lisaria]

Hey Blue,

I am sorry you lost your best friend in such a callous, insensitive way. But like the previous posts said, if he was really a friend he would not have turned away when you needed him. I know that it hurts and that it is going to be very tough but you will get through it.

I hope you will not give him the time of day. Why should you? He let you down so now the only thing that matters is you and getting through the next few months. The best advice is to get busy. Take up a new hobby, volunteer, study something you've always wanted to learn about, and exercise. Anything that gets you moving is good. Dance, jog, run, walk, work out, yoga and meditation too. Whatever gets you through. Time is the only thing that will help and unfortunately we can't rush that or it would be next year for me and I would be past my ex. Another story.

I know that it is really hard when someone we care about treats us in such a crappy way. It makes you feel like you are not enough. Not good enough, not smart enough or not pretty enough, and that does a major job on our self esteem. Anything that can keep us feeling attractive and in control we want to work on. What could you do today that would make you feel better about yourself? Different hairstyle? New outfit? Not that I'm saying go out and change yourself drastically, that could be the wrong thing to do right now, but just a small change that would make you feel better. I love short hair but started letting mine grow out because my ex liked it that way so I went and got it cut after a few months of realizing that the longer my hair got the smaller my self esteem got. That I was just hanging on to the longer hair in case he got smart and came back. Stupid of me I know.

I came up here alot (still do) and just read the posts. Sometimes what you have to say helps someone and you never even know it. So if you want to vent or just post, go for it. This is a great place to do that. Give advice, take advice, read advice...anything that will get you through today.

I don't know if this helps, but I certainly hope you feel better soon.