My Close friend and i need to talk...

[L0stS0uL]

Well my close friend who've i began to get to know and hang out with have now come to a problem. He likes to do stupid crap like smoke and drink and idk i use to do it with him. My other close friends heard about me doing it and i realize its time to stop b/c i can have fun w/o doing that stuff. I need to talk to him about him having to stop, and if he doesnt then we have to go our separate ways. Last tiem i hung out with him i told him that i dont wanna do that crap nemore, but still his othere friends came over and did it while i was just chillen inside by myself. They kept tryint o bug me about doing it but i wouldnt. I just dont know how to approach him with talkin to him about it. I dont want him thinkin im kidding around and i dont wanna seem like im his mom or nething. I just want to start over and get away from bad influences like him. I dont want to b like enemies with him or nething, i want to get out of it in a nice clean way. i just need someone to give me an idea of how to approach him and tell him that he has to stop or else we are done.

[Princess777]

Greetings,

 

I understand exactly how you feel. If you want to come accross like you are only looking out for yourself and not trying to control him, it could work, however you need to prepare yourself for the alternative, which is he could just keep doing what he does. We cannot control others so the only way we can protect ourselves is with our personal boundaries, which it sounds like you are building right now and that is great! People have a way of dragging us down when we spend too much time around those who do less than desirable things in our eyes.

 

So my advice is to tell him that you feel that the drinking, smoking, etc. is not something that you want in your life, and since he does it, you're wondering if it is something that he can do without too, or is it pretty important to him right now? Pose it as a question to appear less threatening. That way it kind of puts the ball in his court to offer to stop.

 

In all actuality, he will make a decision to do one or the other and you always will have a choice to either put up with it or find new friends.

 

Good luck