Will the pain ever stop!

[tiff8434]

It has been 4 months since me and my ex broke up. ok, here is where it gets weird. I was out saturday night watching a local band play and I ran into my ex's neighbor. She told me that she was sorry to hear about Nick and I, she said that she seen him at a party like not even a month before. She told me not to worry about an ything that she knows that he loves me I told her that we havent spoken, and he told me that he never sawa future with me. She said at that party he spent the whole night talking about me and she knows he will be back because he loves me. I dont know what to think if all this is true then why hasent he contacted me?

[evepm]

Dear tiff8434:

 

I broke up with my ex 3 months ago and I had a similar situation. We had a few mutual friend. For the first 1 1/2 months, our friend kept telling me that he missed me, still loved me and was telling her that he could'nt sleep at night. I was happy to hears these things but, that's what he was supposedly telling her not me. We saw each other twice after the break up and in the end we have gone our separate ways.

 

I'm not sure but I think sometimes other people want you to be together. That's not to say that what your ex's neighbor said was'nt true or even what my friend told me was'nt true. But, until you here it from him I would'nt put much credence into what others say. Your ex could have been missing you that night or his neighbor could have exerated a bit. She can't know that he'll be back because she's not him.

 

I know that it is not an easy thing to go through but, until you here it from him you need to assume that it is over and move on. I promise that in time it will not hurt as much and eventually not at all. Leave the door open for him but go on with your life as if the neighbor had never told you these things. I really hope that my words help.

 

BTW I love the psalm.

 

Peace and blessings to you,

evepm

[lunatic]

Hey sorry to hear your in pain. I have to say that hear say is not something to get your hopes up over. Everyone heals at different speeds and some take longer than others. Time heals all wounds and you have to give it as much time as you need.

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I know you are going through a tough time, and my heart goes out to you. Try and avoid information reguarding any of your ex's activities, you really don't want to know. Put him in your prayers and wish all good things for him and leave it at that. Focus on you right now, the process of healing really does take some time. He may be the one, he may not, only time will tell. If he is saying he does not feel he has a future with you, well you really ought to take a serious look at that, I know I sure would. Remember we cannot force someone to love us, they either do or they don't. Take this quiet time for you right now to reflect and launch you into your future. As much as it hurts, remember you are still very young, and when the right person comes along on your path. You will know it.

 

Your in my prayers

 

These are for you may you find peace soon.

 

Warm Regards

 

Kuhl

8)

[maxxy]

Hello there,

 

The only advice I can offer - if you feel the need to call your old boyfriend and discuss things (ie you have a gut feeling this is the right thing to do) - then just do it. Dont die wondering!!!

[tiff8434]

I want to talk to him but I also want him to be the one to make the first move becasue then I would know that it is genuine.

[maxxy]

Maybe he is thinking the same thing and is waiting for you to make the first move??? Just do what feels best for you. Sometimes stubborness can get in the road. If you still have feelings - maybe you should put your ego aside and let him know.

[tiff8434]

here is the problem last time we talked he said I had changed and that he never saw me in his future again. I dont want to be a thorn in his side. Dont you think that if he wanted to talk to me he would call?

[brokenpogostick]

we all move in mysterious ways...i would say wait to hear something from his friend/neighbor again...if you do...then unfortunately, it's prolly gonna need to be you that makes first contact even though you don't want to.

[RayKay]

Hmmm...well, maybe if he has a birthday coming up...or well, there is always Christmas/holidays...you can open conversation up by sending a card out to him - just friendly but inviting him to call if he every wants too!

 

Go with what your heart tells you - if you feel strong enough to call REGARDLESS of the outcome, go for it.

[lunatic]

Tiff8434,

 

Listen he already told you that he sees no future between the two of you. I am sorry because I know this hurts. You have to face the fact that he is being honest with you. I would respect that and start to move on with your life. If one day he comes back to you or you run into him and things happen then great. I just would not get my hopes up on something unless I heard him say it himself.

 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news...

 

Hubman

[Pebek]

Will the pain ever stop? I wish I knew myself. I've been in NC over 3 months since my gf of almost 5 years told me she 'needed time' and boy, does it hurt!!! The only advice I can give is to stay busy and try not to think back to the good old days. I also know it's hard but that's the only way. Earlier on today when I was outside I thought I saw my ex approaching in my direction. I almost died on the spot. You see my point. I see, or rather want to see her face in every woman's face. That's torturing yourself, I know. But there are times I just feel I'm not going to hold on any longer. In my case she was 16 years younger than me and I ran into the 'I want to see what else is out there problem'. Will I ever see the light? Who knows?

I know I can't be of much help, but this is for you to know that I understand the pain and feel sorry for you. Women can be so cruel, and so can men, I guess.