Why were we with someone who is bad for us?

[Nana00]

Curious...

 

Looking at my past relationships, I tend to have a trend...being with someone who is bad for me. When asked, "What do you see in your bf?" asked by my friends and his friends, I had to search for answers. Was it because I was lonely? I don't know. I blame it on chemistry. Chemistry, I hate you, why are you so blind?

 

Any others willing to share? Why are/were you with someone who is/was bad for you? When asked, what do you say? If they are bad for you, when it's over, what do you miss about them?

[vertigoxo]

We are the same.

 

I think we keep chasing after people, lovers or otherwise, that don't want us at all. We need to stop doing this and accept people who want us instead. Of course, make sure that the person who wants you, you WANT as well... Nothing worse than being with someone you don't find attractive at all just because you can't find anyone else. Really great relationships are hard to find, but they're worth the wait.

 

In the mean time, learn to love yourself first.

[Fudgie]

Chemistry does happen between people even though they "should" not be together.

 

To break this trend, you're really going to have to look PAST chemistry. Ok, it's great if you and a guy have chemistry, but don't make that the sole reason to why you're with him. Dig deep and really try to look realistically at him (hard when you're infatuated, I know) and make sure that he has traits that you like.

 

I have dated people who were bad for me in the past. Chemistry and me being lonely was a HUGE part of it. But I got through it by building up my self-esteem a bit and I now I've just gotten to the point where even if someone likes me/we have chemistry, it's easier to say NO when I know that I can do better!

[catfeeder]

Pure ego. They were challenges. I was a sore loser, and I didn't want to quit until the jackpot went my way. Looking back, they couldn't have gotten near me if I wasn't so bad for myself.

 

Once I had a face-off with my own enemy, I stopped pretending that I just somehow ended up with the wrong guys. I saw my own role in these disasters and I opted not to play in that sandbox anymore. It was a good decision.

[Eddie37]

In my case it's usually just two lonely people finding each other, curing the loneliness, falling in love and then later realizing that there's nothing there.