Letter to the Ex

[harte-broken]

I wrote a letter to my ex ... Ive never sent it - I dont think I should, but I want to so badly. It sounds really lame, but I know for sure he is worth fighting for ...

 

 

So, I think I came to the realisation last night that there is no chance for us. I have been spending the last couple of months thinking that maybe you did actually need some time to think about how you felt about me. Pretty silly hey. I have been trying really hard to be a great friend, to be happy with your decision knowing that I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all. But I know that I am just hurting myself even more.

I don’t know that we can lay blame, but it is obvious that our physical relationship was a huge factor. I don't know if I 'pressured' you I was just doing what I felt could show just how much I cared about you and how much you mean to me. I have never been in this situation before, but now I feel as though you see me as a * * * * who would sleep with anyone.

Early on in our relationship I asked you why you liked me, you talked about values, beliefs and religion and how we have similar views. I told you I liked you for the same reasons. I liked you because you made me laugh, a lot, you value family and friends, you have plans and goals for the future and work hard to achieve them, you’re honest, reliable and an all round top guy. Your smile makes me light up inside, it is a beautiful smile. I think you should know that all of this far outweighs the physical attraction I have for you and would take a vow of chastity to get back what I shared with you.

As well as missing you, I have come to realise that I miss who I am when I am with you. You bought out the best in me, made me a more confident person, gave me strength to be myself, someone who I seemed to have lost somewhere between leaving school and starting uni. The one thing I regret while I was with you, was not having the courage to confront the issues face to face. This trait is totally undesirable to me, but has been with me all through my life and I know that is something that I need to work on. I feel as though I took a huge step when I told you how I felt about you, something I have never done ever before. I think I just got sick of letting the opportunities for me to be happy pass me by, and I knew you made me happy. Now I feel emptier than ever, even though my life is filled with so much at the moment. I have no desire to get myself out of bed in the morning, socialise with my family and friends, I have no motivation to keep myself healthy and I feel I am no good to anyone.

It is not healthy for me to see you every week, act like I am happy and fine with everything, because the truth is, that every time I see you, or think about you, I get this tight feeling in my chest, as if my heart continues to break into a billion tiny pieces all over again, it takes all of me not to break down every time.

You may think I am crazy, and two months is a pathetically small amount of time to have all these feelings for someone, but I know that I loved you. I loved you so much I gave a little piece of myself to you that I will never ever get back, won’t ever have the opportunity to give to another person ever in my life. But you know what? I don’t regret giving it to you.

I want you to know that I care about you so much, I am happy to see that you are planning to travel and experience the world before getting tied down to a job, it will be an unbelievable experience. I want you to know that I will be here for you whenever you need. I am only a phone call/text message away – and will gladly just listen. If you don’t want me to be there for you, I just want you to know that there will always be a special place in my heart for you.

[petite]

Don't send it.

If you do, chances are you will regret it as soon as you press "send".

 

This is a good time to look after yourself and let your ex worry about himself. If he wanted contact with you, chances are he wold contact you.

[GeorgiaBlue2]

Well the sensible thing to do is obviously not to send the letter, but then if it were me, i know i would. I think that you will regret it if you never send it, at least if you do, you can know that you did everything you could, and not spend the rest of your life wondering what could've happened if you did. Even if nothing comes of the letter, at least you know you tried.

What is the aim of the letter? Do you want to get back together, or is it a peace making letter? Before sending it you have to take this into account. Also how you broke up, if it was him who broke it off, you do not want to sound desperate, or just like weak, waiting in the wings- someone he can always fall back on. If you want him back, and then he decides he wants you back too, you have to make him work fro it, i think you should make it obvious in the letter that you are not just going to wait around for him, or he will lose even more interest. Overall I would send the letter, maybe modifying it slightyly, because otherwise it will kill you knowing there was more you could've done

[Hell_On_Heels]

If you want him back, I vote to not send the letter. It will probably just push him away. I am sorry to say that, but it seems to be a pretty common reaction during breakups.

[harte-broken]

I want him back ... but think I should move on - Its killing me. I prob won't ever send him the letter, or any other letter - If I want him back I need to speak to him ... And yes - It will push him away.

[Hell_On_Heels]

How long has it been since the breakup? I think my first 2 months were the worst. And then something weird happens - you begin remembering that you weren't always as happy as you thought, that there were things you resented or that you couldn't do...and it sounded to me as if you were apologizing for your sexuality in the letter. Maybe I read it wrong. But in my world, no one should have to feel bad because we want to express love that way.

 

Hope you are feeling better today.

[baxxter]

I always thought "I will be so glad next time he leaves me" when I was with him, because there were so many differences between us and I knew we weren't good match. But then I've decided to work on issues, then he just left in the middle of it...

 

But, there is always something you are not happy about when you are with someone. If 2 people are willing to work on that then relationship can survive, but the end of the day our exes could not bother. You don't need to apologize for that, and you should not feel bad about that either. It just means the efforts put in the relationship weren't equal.

 

I think, in your case, keep NC is the way. Hope you will feel better soon x

 

Good luck x

[Fishman]

I wouldn't send the letter. Especially if this is over a 2month relationship.

 

But, if you do, and it sounds like you are leaning that way despite your brain telling you not to, for god's sake get rid of that last paragraph. Destroy it, nuke it, make sure not a letter or a thought derived from it survives the deletion apocalypse. Because out of everything, that is what you will regret the most if you send it to your ex.

 

Not joking.