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Hello internet, Gülrog here.


I kind of have a sort of strange inquiry. I recently met a person with a different gender identity than the physical gender they were born with and when I was given insight into their thought process it sort of blew my mind.


I kind of have a lot of really ignorant questions, but I don't feel comfortable asking my new acquaintance them because I feel as though some of the answers would be too personal in addition to the fact that some of my questions, I believe, could be taken to be offensive.


So I was hoping you could help internet, and I'm aware that some of this may sound a bit silly but I promise I am quite genuine.


So, I suppose the first question I'd pose is: "Does everyone have a gender identity?"


What does a gender identity feel like? Is it like an emotion?


Do I have one and just not realise it?


If one doesn't feel a strong affiliation with one gender or is ambivalent, then does one have a gender identity which is the same as the physical sex they were born with?

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I don't think everyone identifies with one gender or the other, but the percentage of people who don't is minute.


I derive my gender identity by feeling. The center of my body is my uterus, my energy emanates from there. I'm quite certain men have a different energy center.


I think you probably do have a gender identity, and I'd bet it's a rather definitive one.


Each of us have some physical traits which are seen as masculine and some which are seen as feminine, that is not gender identity to me, that is part of what makes us unique individuals.


There are so few people without a strong gender affiliation I would wager that if a particular person doesn't feel it then they are probably so used to it that it doesn't even register anymore. In other words, yes, it matches their sex.

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Okay, I'm going to try not to get too academic here, but here goes. We all have a gender identity of sorts, and many of us have more than one, which causes conflict and confusion. This is because we are socialized into a gender group from the time we are born (i.e., parents treat boys and girls differently). But as we grow and learn more about ourselves, it's not uncommon for us to assume a different gender identity from that which we were raised in...and this isn't only LGBTQ people who do this. Chances are, you have multiple gender identities too.


For people who are transgender or genderqueer, the gender identity that they feel a connection with is much stronger than the gender identity that they were socialized into, which is why many people do not consider them to be the "norm." But no, it's not an emotion, but rather a strong sense of who a person truly is (thus the word "identity").


We all essentially make up our gender roles and identities as we go through life, and they are all somewhat unique to us. Gender is something of a continuum from stereotypical female to male, with lots of room for negotiation in between. If a person does not feel a strong connection with the socially imposed gender roles (either those that align with your physical sex or not), this doesn't mean they don't have a gender identity, but that they fall somewhere in the middle of the continuum rather than at the more socially accepted ends.


Eek. I hope this helps and isn't too long-winded and/or watered down.

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I think you got it pretty close, what I find unusual about the poster is that it is such a human thing to want to belong, just because we are social animals.


I think what happens a lot also is that there is some confusion between sex and gender identity. Just because someone doesn't feel a particular attraction to either sex, it seems to me that person would still identify themselves as either male or female.

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