What am I thinking?

[annbuckley]

All of a sudden I am attracted to my ex. I want to take him back to bed. Has this ever happened to you?

 

I sent him an email yesterday asking if he would like to meet me in a hotel room and just play. No strings - just sex. He said - he thought that intimacy would confuse the situation and that he didn't feel comfortable with it. He said he would love to go for a walk and talk with me in September - I guess he needs time in August to breathe? Anyhow, he turned me down.

 

Neither of us are promiscuous people - and I trust that. I asked him if he was sleeping with the girl he has been dating and if they were in a relationship. He said no - that he wasn't emotionally available for anything with anyone. I believe him - based on our own experience and am confident he is not lying. He has done many things - but lying isn't part of him - in fact, he can be bitterly cruel with what he sees as the truth.

 

I don't feel rejected. I don't know what I feel. Am I just being territorial? I didn't want anything to do with him and suddenly - bam - I want to touch him all over? What is with that?

 

I sent an email back and said - Can't we keep the emotion out of it and just go with the lust? I was careful not to sound needy or anything - just open to a non committed experience.

 

Any thoughts?

[Nerdyjock]

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, personally. If he says no again though I would leave it alone. Whether he really is hurting and doesn't want to complicate it, or whether he isn't into you like that anymore, respect his next response.

[HeartGoesOn]

This would only set you back, and you'd ask yourself later, "Why did I settle for crumbs, and sell myself so cheaply?"

[FreedomRing]

Yeah not a good idea. Doing something like this would only muddy the waters(if they aren't already). You're just giving in to your sexual urges, so I recommend getting a B.O.B!

[annbuckley]

thanks guys. I don't know what my problem is. I don't want to get back together right now but ..............dang nabbid...Do you think his flattered, or that I am crazy? He did say he missed a lot of things - didn't say what they were - just that he did. He doesn't say I love you - but said " you are there all the time". Hmmmm - ahhhhh!

[AutumnBorn]

I did have sex with my ex not long ago. It was disgusting. I actually felt sick afterward, having sex with someone whom I knew didn't care for me.

 

My advice is don't go there. It's done. Move on.

[lostnscared]

Understand completely. I'm a bit horny myself, but not horny enough to subject myself to the awkwardness and unresolved issues in our relationship that would ultimately occur once the sex was over. Not to mention the fact that you don't want to have sex with someone that isn't committed to you.

Personally I think he did the both of you a favor. It would have been a set back and would've confused the situation.

If you want to reconcile in the future, the last thing you want to do is have sex and confuse everything.

I don't think he really rejected you--since he is still interested in walking and talking in a month.

Just give him some space and masturbate if you have to.

[charity]

any chance you were ovulating at this time??. i'm not promiscuous at all and take sex very seriously but anytime i find myself wanting 'just sex' with my ex and don't care about the consequences it turns out that if i count my days in my cycle i am ALWAYS on days 11-13. hilarious... and dangerous. this is also the time that i consider being 'ready' for dating again.apparently its the body's way of trying to conceive. it never ceases to fascinate me, the power our bodies have subconsciously.