Girlfriend has celebrity crush - am I being too insecure?

[almasy87]

My girlfriend and I have been together for over three years now. We've had our ups and downs as any relationship does. One thing I've realized about her is that she gets fixated on certain things and, to put it simply, becomes "obsessed" with them for a time. This most often happens with movies that she really likes and wants to watch over and over.

 

Anyway, I know celebrity crushes are normal and all, but I don't know how to feel about this one. It started once night when I called her and out of the blue she started talking about how hot she thinks he is and how much she wanted to see his movies again. Almost every time I've talked to her since then, she's brought him or the movie up at least once. Last night, she posted on facebook saying how hot she thinks he is. It's starting to drive me crazy...I don't want to call her just to have her tell me how attractive she thinks another guy is. She tells me she loves me, but then she starts talking about how much she wants to see the movie again. I can't even talk to her about how it makes me feel because she'll just get annoyed and say it's normal to have a crush on a celebrity.

 

I don't know...it makes me feel like she's not attracted to me when she just keeps talking about him. I barely get to see her now since she's going to school in another city and neither of us have a car. There was already once time a couple of years ago where she found out that she still had feelings for an ex, and she kept trying to see him despite knowing how it made me feel. Those feelings eventually went away, but it really makes me worry that she's forgetting about me now that we've been apart.

 

What do you guys think? I know I can't do anything about celebrity crushes, but is "right" for her to keep talking about it like this?

[meiling]

What do you guys think? I know I can't do anything about celebrity crushes, but is "right" for her to keep talking about it like this?

 

No, it is not. If it is making you uncomfortable, you should tell her so and ask her kindly to stop bringing it up around you. She should be understanding and keep it to herself or her friends from now on then.

[ibu]

I can be the same...I also get fixated on things (usually a music band or a tv show). There are two music bands/singers I am kind of obsessed with...and a tv show or two as well.

You could also say that I find one actor from that tv show completely hot. Haha, sometimes I still feel like a teenager who'd stick posters all over the bedroom wall...

 

But anyway...what I do, is I usually find an outlet to talk about this. Not with my RL friends, 'cause I know they're not interested, but I spend time on an internet forum or a group with the same interest.

I wouldn't keep bringing it up to an SO though....it's one thing to mention a celebrity crush now and again, but to keep bringing it up to your SO over and over again is kind of...well, not smart.

 

While I feel it's normal thing to have such a crush (I have them, I'd almost expect a partner to have them as well), you should never have to feel like she's not attracted to you anymore. I can have celebrity crushes but be completely in love with, and attracted to, my RL partner. One has nothing to do with the other in my case.

 

I agree with meiling...is there any way you could talk to her about it so she doesn't bring it up in front of you anymore?

[DN]

I don't think a celebrity crush is exactly the same as a real-life crush but she is being very disrespectul to you to keep gushing about this guy all the time.

[Shnoodle]

I would simply tell her that it is fine for her to have a celebrity crush, but you'd prefer her to keep it to herself. If you do call her, tell her just that! "I didn't call you so I could hear about how hot so-and-so is". It sounds like she's hugely lacking in the empanthy and tact department.

[FathomFear]

So based on what you said, are you saying that there are not celebrities out there who really turn you on?

[protonxtreme]

So based on what you said, are you saying that there are not celebrities out there who really turn you on?

 

Hehe, i mean, aren't you imaginating of PAM ANDERSON being next to you? whoa, i wish i had her near me, besides my GF, but still, get obsessed with a movie that involves a woman char in it who looks hot and then talk about it to her and see what she does, i guess it will bring this obsession to and end fairly rapidly.

[DN]

Hehe, i mean, aren't you imaginating of PAM ANDERSON being next to you? whoa, i wish i had her near me, besides my GF, but still, get obsessed with a movie that involves a woman char in it who looks hot and then talk about it to her and see what she does, i guess it will bring this obsession to and end fairly rapidly.

I don't advise doing this. It's playing games and could backfire if she thinks she has a green light to continue what she is doing.

[annie24]

is she talking about link removed / link removed

 

If so, I want him, i call dibs! lol

 

I don't think a celebrity crush is a big deal, as long as it's not something she talks about every day. i agree that's disrespectful. especially if she's saying she's into an actor who is tall and blond, and you are short and dark. or vice versa. i would be like, "if that's your type, then stop wasting your time with me."

[FathomFear]

Yeah if it's Bradley Cooper or someone like that you'll really need to give her a break, lol.

[almasy87]

So based on what you said, are you saying that there are not celebrities out there who really turn you on?

 

Of course I have celebrity crushes, but I think the difference here is that I don't see a reason to discuss them with her.

 

Yeah if it's Bradley Cooper or someone like that you'll really need to give her a break, lol.

 

Vin Diesel actually, which is weird because she hates muscles in general. I've already got a man crush on Bradley Cooper, so I suppose it would have been mutual if it was him

 

 

 

I did manage to talk to her about it and I'm guessing she didn't realize how much she was talking about it. I also get the sense that the crush developed out of how much she liked The Chronicles of Rid * * * * (on an odd note, she seems to love a lot of movies that get mixed to poor receptions from critics and movie-goers and she's kind of "meh" towards movies that get universal acclaim...never understood that wouldn't have happened if she had seen The Fast and the Furious instead or something.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling better now. I think she realized that talking about it was making me uncomfortable and she assured me that she loves me and everything. Even after 3+ years I guess I'm just still not used to her extreme fangirl-ish reactions to some things (gladly she has some towards females as well, like the 'Alice' character from the Resident Evil movies)

 

Thanks for the advice, everyone. At the very least it gave me the courage to actually talk to her about it