meeting guys on craigslist

[peanutbutterandjelly]

Has anyone posted a personal ad on craigslist looking for a date? I thought I would at least explore all my options, but I've heard that its just filled with a bunch of creepy guys these days. I met a cool guy on there like 4 years ago, but I don't know if it's changed since then. What's been your experience with craigslist?

[Shudder]

use caution

[FathomFear]

Straight people use Craig's list?

[SweetJade]

I tried it before and I never will again.. You will find a lot of creeps before you get to the good guys. I found a lot of men who played games, they were either married and looking for some cheap thrill on the side. Or the guy had some sort of issue. I actually met someone who became a stalker, had to change my number and everything! Thank god I never told him where I lived.. But just be careful if you do decide to meet guys off of there.

[Seymore]

Straight people use Craig's list?

 

Heck, I thought Craigslist was like some way to find a "sure thing" for the weekend and that's it...

[Godless_Heathen]

There are a lot of decent people online. However, I don't think many of them are on Craig's List. Certainly I've scanned the ads a few times, and the quality of the ads there is very, very low compared to other places, even other free places.

[mfan]

If you're not into "420", then forget it. Stick to link removed, link removed, advanced link removed, etc. I used to check out the profiles there out of boredom. One in a hundred women-seeking-men ads seemed to be written by a friendly, real, actual female woman, with real grammar and personality description and such, and even that one ended in "I am 420 friendly".

 

(420 means marijuana)

[Solo Pilot]

R u serious???? You would meet someone from craigslist. Isn't it free? The best rule of thumb when it comes to online dating is:

 

If the online dating site is free your more likely to attract the weirdos and creeps. The ones where you have to pay weed some of the creeps and freaks. Of course it doesn't totally eliminate them. Pretty much only someone who's seriously looking for a real relationship is going to pay.....

 

Craigslist online dating. Beware!

[WockaWocka]

You say you're looking for a date. Ideally blossoming into a LTR or FWB? For the latter I've had hits and misses on Craigslist. For the former I've never tried (although after meeting an ex-felon through yahoo personals (now link removed), I would say there are bad apples everywhere.) You will inevitably get some married guys, crazy guys, etc but if you're lucky you can find a few decent ones as well.

I would recommend:

 

1. Require response emails to have a keyword in the subject. Bury this in a paragraph. Then you can weed out guys who didn't even bother to read the ad. (Amazing how many of them use language like "You sound like a perfect fit" to disguise the fact that they didn't read the ad).

 

2. Specify no married men, or at least ask them point blank when they respond. This helps cut down on the problem.

 

3. Ask them how recent their photo is. Amazing how many guys (and probably gals too) manage to gain 50lbs and/or age 10 years since their photo was taken!

 

4. Only meet in public (duh) and give a friend their contact info, just in case.

 

Remember: low expectations are key!

 

P.S. Compared to the above posters I may sound a bit trashy giving a half-hearted endorsement to CL, but just because most of the ads in it are bad doesn't mean you can't get a few thoughtful responses to something good that you post. Also I'm not exactly looking to settle down these days. If you are then I think the advice people have given you above is pretty solid.

[newwave]

I did it and no success. Mostly perverts, many of whom sent nude photos, and couples. A few were the opposite of what I was looking for and others were creepy. It's not worth it.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

wow, really? it's that bad? I thought i should take advantage a free tool to help me get a date, but maybe not...

[WockaWocka]

I think it also depends on your metro area, how many people use it and how trashy it is. I live near a lot of highly-educated people (and am myself) and I've met some single guys in tech industries, healthcare, high finance, academia, etc. In other cities I've lived/visited (US and abroad) I've looked at their local CL and it seems a _lot_ more trashy!

 

You should probably think about a paid site if you want something serious, as other posters have said.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

unfortunately, i cant afford a paid site right now.

[Cheetarah]

milkandhoney,

 

For experimentation's sake, I posted an ad on clist after reading this thread.

 

My ad was casual, blatantly stating I wasn't looking for married men or those involved, or casual no-strings-attached stuff. I included my interests, the whole ad had sort of a tongue in cheek feeling to it.

 

Here are the results:

 

Apparently(not surprisingly), 3 responders didn't read my ad at all - They were married and looking for a fling.

 

2 guys simply sent naked pics with no text.

 

5 sent a picture of them on some gym apparatuses with no shirts on - Brief intro paragraphs indicated they were in my area along with other basic info, but did not touch on sharing any of my interests/what I was looking for.

 

3 sent seemingly genuine, intelligent and semi-lengthy responses commenting on some key stuff I included in my profile, what THEY were looking for, etc. One sent a pic, the other two offered send one on request. Nothing pervy.

 

So that's 10 vs. 3. Not horrible, but not great.

 

It's worth a try, anyway - If you're good at weeding them out.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

im not really easily offended so if a guy sends me a pic of his junk, ill just delete it lol. maybe i will try it for giggles and screen heavily before i meet up with anyone... still thinking about it.

[newwave]

I just posted a personal on Craigslist to see what percentage are married, perverts, or don't read the ad. I state those who are married, looking to have sex, or have kids don't contact me. Could be interesting.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

im anxious to hear the results lol

[Cheetarah]

Ok, I got one more decent one. So that's 10-4. lol.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

um... so i just went ahead and posted an ad a little while ago. I got a bunch of people looking for a hookup... but i also got one from what seems to be a really decent guy. I actually screened him by putting him name into facebook, and he owns his owns business and is active in his town doing lots of volunteer work and stuff...

 

i replied to his email, he wrote me back within like 5 minutes and said he was free tomorrow and that he thought i was cute

 

i might have a date after trying to get one for like 3 months!!!

[peanutbutterandjelly]

i have to admit, im kinda paranoid about him secretly being a crazy sex addict or serial killer after reading the responses and warnings in this thread though.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

well... i officially have a date for tomorrow evening. wow. I've been trying to get a date for like 3 months and now i have one within a few hours of making an ad. I should have done this a long time ago!

[newwave]

Ok I got a few responses:

 

A few were considerably younger and older than I wanted. A few were early 20's looking for a cougar and few guys in their late 50's-late 70's looking for younger woman.

 

Many guys sent me photos either of them working out or of their abs. Nice, but why not sent an message?

 

A few told me I was picky and give them a chance because they have "wonderful kids".

 

No nude photos (yet) but a few sexual messages. A few sent very brief messages such as "hi". Others want a friends with benefit situation and others want to be friends first. Ok, I get taking it slow, but I already have a situation like that with a friend who may or may not become serious. I'm not having two relationships like that.

 

A few sound like decent guys but not sure what I want to do.

[wsim]

Interesting to see how this is from a female-perspective. I am a guy and have posted on craigslist a few times to see if I can find a potential date or relationship. No results in about 4-5 attempts thus far. I don't think it is anything wrong with the area that I live in (fairly large and well-known city in Canada) or what I am asking for....

 

These are the types of replies I get from CL:

 

- Spam, advertising sex webcams or other weird sites

 

- One-liners or replies with only a few words - can clearly tell these aren't real people based off this and their email addresses

 

- Girls that appear to be real/genuine get a reply back from me and then I never hear from them again

 

- A few only want to chat on MSN and aren't interested in anything else (hangout or dating)

 

"Real people" out there are very few and far between. I don't know how CL can work for guys. I post ads, respond to the women seeking men section and still can't find one decent or legit girl out there. There ends my rant, just getting really frustrated with all of the online avenues (Online Dating or Craigslist). I hope something works out soon or else I am going to quit looking online. Not worth it. Finding a date is the hardest thing in life that I have ever been through, no joke.

 

Before someone accuses me of being too bitter, I would like to say congrats and hope that your CL date works out for you.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

I dont think your bitter wsim. If you read a bunch of my posts i have been trying to go on one first date for literally months! Finding a date has been realllly hard for me too. I am on okcupid, and I have literally gotten 2 messages in 3 weeks! I dont think too many women in my area use craigslist, so maybe that's why I got a bunch of replies. There only seem to be a few ads per day posted in the women looking for men section.

[newwave]

You don't sound bitter at all. It is rough out there for everyone who's single and it gets worse as one gets older. I often see these late 40's-mid 50's never married guys (yes there are many) looking to get married and I often wonder why they haven't before. Were they like me, where they've only considered marriage lately, did they get stung and finally healed, or were they the unlucky type who never did meet "the one" and keep trying because they want someone?