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Does seeing someone exclusively mean you are boyfriend-girlfriend?


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I've known this girl for three weeks. We hung out a bunch of times. She told me she really likes me and I told her I really like her. She asked me if I wanted to be exclusive/go steady with her. I said yes. She kept saying there was no pressure and that even if I didn't she still wanted to keep seeing me. I said I wasn't going out looking for other girls and that I liked spending time with her.


The day afterwards I started to feel regretful of the decision I made, because I started to think that this meant we are boyfriend and girlfriend status. I don't want to be in a relationship right now. I don't want the label of boyfriend-girlfriend. Is dating someone exclusively mean you are their boyfriend or girlfriend? I think its too soon for me to be calling this girl my girlfriend. My take on the exclusive thing is that you just agree not to go out and date other girls or see other girls actively. To me, its like a trial period where you only hang out and spend time with this one person and get to know them better to see if you are ready to take it to the next level of a relationship/boyfriend-girlfriend. Does anyone else agree?


If this girl is now considered my girlfriend because I said I wanted to be exclusive with her, please let me know. I don't want any labels right now. I'm not ready for a serious committed relationship. At the same time, I am open to hanging out with just one girl at a time and seeing where it goes. I've known this girl for three weeks, that's not a lot of time. And to me, it sure isn't long enough for me to be calling her my girlfriend and telling people that I am in a relationship.


What does everyone else think? Does the word "exclusive" always translate into "I'm in a relationship/I have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"

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What don't you like? The exclusivity or the label? Well, if you both agreed not to date other people, you are exclusive. Whatever labels you decide on you decide on. If I were in your shoes, if someone asked, I would say, "I'm seeing someone" and leave it at that. It's the truth.


Btw, i guess it frustrates me when people say "i don't want to be in a relationship" and are dating someone exclusively. If someone doesn't want to be in a relationship, they should not date or just go on a casual date with someone now and then (or several somebodies). Letting themselves fall into one or doing everything that says "relationship" and then telling the other person they don't want to be in a relationship is like telling them "this is fun, but it isn't real. I told you that upfront."


Anyways, sorry to be so wordy, but "I'm seeing someone" should do it. You are still in the "getting to know you" phase and you don't have to say you have a girlfriend yetif you'll are not into labels.. btw, having a girlfriend doesn't mean you are engaged, btw. Its just having a girlfriend if you are still with her later on but not years later on. maybe after a few more weeks or a month or two . Heck, we are very much in love and my boyfriend fumbled around on what to introduce me as for months!

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I understand what you're talking about, OP. I'm in a similar predicament. I think taking your time with the whole gf/bf business is a good thing. There's no need for the rush. Commiting to someone is a big deal. I mean everything I say and do the things I say I will, so when I say I will commit to you, I will and it's just too soon to be able to say that at week 3.



Personally, I don't think being exclusive = bf/gf, but everybody is different.


What I'm doing is listing my facebook status as single. LOL It's not official until facebook says it is!

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Oh wow, if your name wasn't Chris I think I might be dating you. I've known a guy for three weeks and we decided to be exclusive. However, we never really used the term boyfriend and girlfriend. At a party last Friday, he quickly corrected his friend when he referred to me as his girlfriend. He said, "I don't like labels." I was a little taken aback because I assumed if he was only going to date me that he wanted to be my boyfriend. Apparently there's a step between "hanging out" and the "bf/gf stage" that only men recognize. You just need to let her know how you feel, and that you want to take things slowly. Otherwise you end up with awkward public introductions.

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This is something that I will never understand. What is the difference between seeing someone exclusively and bf/gf? If you object to the label, it's because there are expectations of what that label means, right?


If you are exclusive, you aren't supposed to hook up with, date or actively seek anyone else. If you are bf/gf you aren't supposed to hook up with, date or actively seek anyone else.


So what is the difference?


I've never understood this fear of the bf/gf label. If a 5 year old on a playground can grab some girl's hand and declare her his gf...


Is it the expectation of future? Gf/bf does not imply future. Is it the expectation of having to meet family/friends? That's a function of time - not of label.


In my books, you are bf/gf. But... I also don't understand.

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