Feeling under-minded at work

[mgirl]

I work in a disability care facility, helping to support 4 people living with disabilities. They live there. They are all over 40, the average age being 50, so they are all grown ups.

 

Most of them are low care, eg, they only need assistance with certain tasks (showering, meals prep, some assistance with walking etc.). None of them drive.

 

Part of the Disability legislation in Victoria is to assist people with disabilities to live independently and make choices etc. Our organisation is heavily governed by the Act.

 

The problem i am having is that one of my co-workers constantly "mothers" the clients. I feel that she is over-stepping the boundaries a little. I was selected for the job because of my commitment to behavioural strategies. Eg, if a client (resident) is playing up (becoming demanding, getting up in middle of night, disrupting other residents), we need to implement strategies to reduce this behaviour. This is something the team leader says she believes in and constantly talks about it. the team leader stipulated we need to 'stick together' and implement certain behavioural strategies. But, in order for behavioural strategies to work, they need consistency.

 

The coworker seems to mother the clients, calls them "sweetheart" etc. and gushes all over them sometimes. They're grown up people! She is also a bit affectionate with them.

 

We are employed as "support workers", not parents and imo, need to maintain some distance. That is one of the guiding principles in aged care, so am assuming is same for disability care. A line needs to be drawn between our clients and the "staff". The clients realise this, they refer to us as "staff".

 

The problem with her mothering the clients is that they will "prefer" her (they're like that, they often ask "who is on tonight" etc. and have their favourites). By her doing this, she is lowering the bar, so normal behaviour from the staff will now be seen as harsh. She is also setting up a culture pf "popularity" amongst the staff, which in my view, is in appropriate.

 

It's really annoying me and i know she is doing that because she wants the part time job there (she is currently casual), it almost seems as if she is sucking up to the clients in order to become popular so she can get the job.

 

*Grr*, the only reason i didn't apply for that job (i am on a contract) is because it doesn't suit me right now and i think that she thinks she has won.

 

Her behaviour, i think, undermines my professionalism and i may possibly be seen as cold and clinical, when i'm not, i'm just professional.

 

I'm not sure what to do about it, we have a team meeting on Tuesday. I don't think she will be present. I'm thinking i might raise it on a general level, then talk to team leader more specifically afterwards. Our strategies need to be communicated to this new woman, even better if she attends. I will raise them tactfully and hopefully they'll be addressed.

 

Any advice on how to handle her in the meantime? I find she also makes up HER mind what we're doing on our outings, without even consulting me. She basically makes the deals with the clients and then tells me what we're doing, when it should be discussed with me or another co-worker first.

[DN]

I do think you need to address this - just make sure you do so professionaly and don't bering emotions into it. Keep it to talking about adhering to the protocols.

[nutbrownhare]

You need to bring up the issue of her not consulting you about things which will affect both of you. However, her using affectionate language towards your clients does not necessarily mean that she isn't adhering to protocols - if she isn't, you need to raise the issue of consistency. However, it is possible to be warm and touchy-feely, but still have firm boundaries.

 

I work on an acute mental health ward, where ages range from 18 - 69. In this environment, clear boundaries and protocols are absolutely ESSENTIAL, and are maintained all the time. However, all the staff, from the Ward Manager downwards, will address the patients as 'love', 'sweetie' and so on - depending on the patient. If you have a warm relationship with someone, it makes it easier to reason with them and calm things down when things get a little, erm, lively. It means that the patients are less distressed to begin with.

 

If the 'touchy-feely' stuff really isn't your style, then it really wouldn't work if you tried to adopt it. But it may be that your clients would be better served by someone consulting with them before you make decisions about where you're going on outings, perhaps? If this is about your clients being able to make choices, aren't they consulted before you reach your decisions?

 

Before you get to the meeting, I really think you need to pinpoint documented incidents, with supporting evidence, where she has not followed protocols and potentially caused a dangerous situation with clients. I agree with DN that you need to keep emotions out of it - if you come over as being worried that her style of relating will make you appear cold and clinical, this will not reflect well either on you or the quality of care you give your clients.

[itsallgrand]

I'm very familiar with that issue. Question: what is the management tier in your company/co-op/who you work for? And what is your position in it.

 

I know it varies a lot from company to company, place to place. Some have "team leaders". Some have "house managers". Some have one centralized board - with the family members and senior workers often sitting on it - who make the big decisions.

 

So it depends on your role and place and how the management works, on what sort of advice I'd personally give.

 

But I relate!!

 

To me, and speaking bluntly - I consider it lazy. Taking the short road of making their job easier bc to actually implement the longer term goals requires not always being the most popular person, and doing some dirty work. We share some of the same strengths - I've often been called into homes to give a bit of a 'harder' line and specialized skills (though this does not mean lack of compassion in the least). There is very often at least one team member who takes the 'soft approach' to a place that doesn't quite cross the line of appropriateness, but does create an issue with effectiveness and consistency in the home.

[mgirl]

Thank you for all your responses. Some valid points, and ones which i will ponder when i've had some sleep

 

I had a big argument with this woman today. I told her that her being 'motherly' and calling the clients "sweety and darling" etc. was not necessarily a good thing in terms of consistency and that they will start to play favourites. This was already confirmed by one of them asking HER to shower them, and not me, which had previously been agreed on. I said to my co-worker that she should have said to the client "no, XXX is showering you tonight, maybe let us know earlier if you want somebody else to do it". She said "i don't know how to do that" (set boundaries), and that it's "not about us, it's about the clients". Mind you, she was the one who agreed and instigated that i shower this particular client due to staffing levels.

 

She refused to see how her allowing this client to 'dictate' something was undermining to me and said that if she's abused me in public, the THAT would have been undermining. I disagreed and said that inaction is just as bad in some ways. I think i'd explained earlier about the danger of "favourites". I can already see it happening: the competition between staff to gain the approval and affections of the clients (how sad), and then the * * * * * ing of the staff when that standard cannot be reached, not to mention the mis-behaviour and disrespect of the staff from the clients when get extra stuff from one staff member, but not everyone else. For goodness sake, these are grown people, they can make their own coffee! She treats them like they're disabled children.

 

I suggested the two of us sit down with the team leader and have a conversation if she'd like. She said "no", but i can see she will probably lodge an incident report.

[mgirl]

Taking the short road of making their job easier bc to actually implement the longer term goals requires not always being the most popular person, and doing some dirty work. We share some of the same strengths - I've often been called into homes to give a bit of a 'harder' line and specialized skills (though this does not mean lack of compassion in the least). There is very often at least one team member who takes the 'soft approach' to a place that doesn't quite cross the line of appropriateness, but does create an issue with effectiveness and consistency in the home.

 

A different co-worker and myself have had a few discussions on this. She said that she felt she had to 'appease' one particular client, but that she regretted it because she felt a bit 'walked all over', or something. Our team leader keeps emphasizing the importance of consistency and 'boundaries', so i hope she follows through.