dont feel like im healing and i need help

[Baurman]

after my ex broke up with me i called her constantly when she kept telling me to let go of her and leave her be... after reading advices from people saying to go into nc to heal, i did... it's been about a month of strict no contact... been 2 months since the break-up/last I've seen her, and even though i think i feel like I'm healing, i really don't think i am. every morning i wake up feeling sick/anxiety and i have to read these forums to get sense back to my head, read her Con's list, etc. but I feel like disappearing from her life is only making me lose her... i've deleted my facebook because every update from her hurts me... so i needed to get rid of what hurt me. but now I just feel like socially awkward, everyone will think that i'm anti-social because i deleted my facebook over a girl. mornings have been the hardest really because whenever I wake up I have pain in my stomach that makes me start gagging up yellow acid from my stomach. I've only been doing this since the break up and i just wish my mornings could be normal again where i can eat a healthy breakfast and have my appetite back again. I know that I am allowing myself to hurt because of my ex, but what are some things to trick my emotions into just not hurting anymore? I re-read the Con list of my Ex and there's no way in hell I'd want to be with this girl.... I keep telling myself that, but my body is still feeling depressed for her. Why?

[Hell_On_Heels]

For me, I lost more than a husband. I lost dreams, a lifestyle I wanted, hopes, and even my self-esteem. Trust is very difficult for me now, so I've lost that as well. We have lost more than just a person. We have many things we have to mourn.

 

Maybe you are feeling some of this?

[Live-N-Learn]

Baurman, I can relate to what you are feeling. I went through having no appetite (lost 10 pounds), couldn't sleep, and almost lost my job cuz I could not focus. I wish there was an easy answer to your queston but there is not. No magic pill.

 

I went through it in a bad way for about 4 months. Part of the problem was because I stayed in contact. You have done the right thing by going strict NC. It is the fastest way to healing. I went NC for 10 weeks and felt much better. Still thought about her a lot but was able to function, sleep and eat.

 

Some days were still really hard but nothing like when I stayed in contact. Time truly is what will make it better along with finding a way to get closure within yourself. I started seeing a therapist when I went NC and that has helped a lot.

 

I too have been on these boards daily since the breakup in January. It has helped me a lot but at times only reminds me of how much pain I am in. So try to have a balance between getting out of the house, hanging with friends and getting on this site.

 

Sorry it is so hard for you right now, we have all been there. Actually many are right where you are at.