I keep telling myself that I'm not a homewrecker!

[ciaz]

So a little over a week ago I met someone. We met through mutual friends, we talked all night, and yes, she said she had a boyfriend. They're living together in her house, and they've been together for like 6 years. Supposedly it's been on the outs for a while, and they've had nothing but issues recently. I got her number, and we went on a few dates. I never crossed the line with her, I told her that I hated putting her in an uncomfortable situation.

 

...So today I get word from her that she broke up with him, and that she's staying at a friends house. She said she didn't think it'd be a good idea if we talked until things settle down - probably next week.

 

Normal?

[MetaphorDavis]

Stop with the guilt you are not a home wrecker. You didn't cross any lines because she hasn't established any...

 

...the fact that she has broken up with him and is not living under the same roof is a good sign...

 

...plenty of red flags though...from yo0u and ehr...dating her while they were still living together if you really like her and don't want to just bang her shows you are disrespectful to yourself...and what now she's going to jump right into a relationship with you after just ending this one? Please...how things begin is how they shall end. Quit being pathetic. You should have told her end it and then we'll see how things go. Her not ending it on her own before dating you is truly pathetic. Lets say you guys get together and have a relationship...if things go south, we'll she find someone else, talk all night about how you have victimized her and use that person as an out? There will be no foundation of trust. Therefore doomed.

[Citlali]

I think you crossed a line by dating someone who wasn't available to date. You should have told her you don't date women in relationships. Putting that aside, though, I would never date someone who was that dishonest. Whatever the problems they were having, she should have first ended things with him. She did not. She could also be lying about everything else she has told you if she lied about something like that. And she could do the same thing to you in the future. That's no way to start a relationship. I'd be careful if I were you.

[amipushy]

Seeing as all this has happened in the course of a week it sounds like the breakup was on the cards before you even met her.

 

But just because she left him, it doesnt mean that she will come running to you now. If this girl does things right, she will spend time alone healing over the next few weeks/months and will change and grow and learn from her experience and may not want to face you again.

 

If she doesnt take that time to heal and rushes to you, there is every chance that she will use you as a rebound and might even get back with her ex or worse flip flop between you both leaving everyone in an emotional mess so keep your distance, don't wait for her, get on with your life, she might never come.

[sophie274]

Well, IMO she very clearly crossed a line with you (and you did too - I think it was wrong of you to go on dates with a woman whom you knew to be in a relationship). The problem with you dating her now is that a) she was willing to go on dates with you while in a relationship and b) she will need time - much more time than a single week! - to get over her relationship and "grieve" (6 years is a long time), and if she dates you during that time you are more likely to just be a distraction or "rebound" than anything else.

 

I dated someone for a few months when I was 2 months out of a 3.5 year relationship, and he was definitely a rebound.