Mixed emotions... to continue or stop it now?

[adidas7fire]

I've been dating this guy for 4 months. We were friends before we dated but the time is coming where he's about to move to another state for college. Right now since it's the summer time, we are spending as much time together as possible, considering I go to class in the mornings and work until late at night. The only time we can really see each other is during the weekend or after midnight. But anyways, we have kind of talked about his moving and what effects it will have on our relationship but we never got to a definite answer on his we were going to stay together or if we were going to mutually break up because of the distance factor. Do you think I should wait and see how the LD relationship works or not even give it a chance and just remain friends? The hard part is even though we spend time together, he'll say something like, "I've got to talk to you about something" but when he gets his chance, he chickens out and it goes unsaid, leaving me to wonder what that "something" could be. It drives me crazy and I know that he regrets not saying what he wanted at that time (because he's told me). I worry constantly that it's something negative but when we are together, I don't think about that -- all I think about is him and how happy I am when we are together.

 

I don't know... it's just this feeling I get whenever we talk online or on the phone... and when I asked him if what he needed to talk to me about was bad, his reply was "Yes, but no." Great! Now which way is my mind supposed to think?! Am I just worrying too much or should this be something I need to stay on top of and prepare myself for? My problem is that I always expect the worst of things... and 75% of the time they were nothing to worry over... but watch this one time it be the opposite. Help me out here... please. It's already bad enough that he's moving, but to lose someone I love... and to know that words are being left unspoken is eating me alive.

[DopeStar]

Assuming by the college comment your probly around the age of 18, right?

 

OK, looking at that, I would say that you two need to move on with your lives. He's going away to college and is going to need time to himself, for study and to just grow up in general. You two are about to hit a very bumpy time in your lives. The next 4-5 years you are going to change dramaticly. Your opinions, ideal, beliefs and feelings are going change and you will barely even reconize the person you are now, then. You should part ways on mutual terms, this way you will still like each other. If you don't one of you is going to get heartbroken. I don't mean to scare you but the truth is that one of you are probly going to stray. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so negative but I can't help it. I've talked to a lot of older people about being that age to my age and they all say that you shouldn't be in a relationship. They are right, your to young you hardly know yourselves. You need to go out and have a good time and try and discover new things.

 

This way later in life, after you have learned something about yourselves, the chance of you two being able to have a happy, healthy, longterm relationship will be much better, or you find that special someone else along the way and end up happier.

 

You can't expect this current relationship to work, I am sorry about that, but not with the changes your about go through, but you'll always have a chance later on if that is how you still truly feel and you don't wait for things to get bad before splitting up now.

 

If you love something let it go... we've all heard it, try it, you will see the truth.

[adidas7fire]

Well, I'm 22 and just about to graduate college and he's 19... so yeah, I see where you're coming from. I've known that but I guess I've been trying to evade it. But knowing that we are both willing to stay friends is something that I can live with... I mean, I'd rather be that than nothing, right? But thanks for your input.

[faeriechyld]

Let me ask you a question...

 

If you do decide to break up now, do you think later on down the road you may wonder, "what if?"

 

LDR's are incredibly difficult. It's not easy to try and be with someone who is far away from you throughout most of your relationship.

 

Like the other poster said, you both are young and that does make it more difficult. However, what's the harm in trying?

 

And yes, the chances of getting hurt will increase, but do you really want to live your life avoiding hurt and thereby missing out on some really great times? Life is full of pain, you can't avoid it no matter how hard you try, so why not give it a chance, talk it out with your boyfriend, see what he thinks? If it doesn't work out, at least you can say you gave it a shot. Yes, it will probably hurt if things fall apart after he leaves, but like I said, pain is a part of life. What matters more is that you focus on the happy memories and can revel in the fact that you made them.

 

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for the best.

[adidas7fire]

Thanks for your input. We did talk and got some things straightened out which makes things a little better to deal with. I think we are going to give the LDR a try.. and like you said, I don't want to see back one day and wonder "what if"... I do that too much already... with different things. I don't need to add to the list... lol.

 

But like I told him, no matter where we are or what we are doing, we'll always be friends. Life is full of uncertainties and not knowing what lies ahead is definitely one of them. But as long as he is happy, then as am I.

 

No pain, no gain, right?