Hmmm...

[Hopelives]

Busy executive man... meaning he travels weekly for work, sometimes internationally. He emails, or texts, and sends pictures of where he's at. No doubt he is there.

 

Has some kids, youngest splits the time between mother and father... equally.

 

Mother hates father, so he has 2nd cell phone so that incendiary text msgs are not on company phone where others (IT) could read them.

 

Makes plans to see me, keeps them.

 

Online dating profile, I've already discussed with him as well as why he is still paying for it. I know the site well, and it is near impossible to easily delete the profile as well as stop payments (but I did anyway).

 

Told him that if he just wants to date around, I get that and it is entirely understandable. I just am not looking for that at this point in my life. I want something more serious... I told him outright that his inactions told me he was not into me, he was flabbergasted. I said it doesn't make him a bad man, or me a clingy woman, it just makes us at different points in our lives. He said he was very much into me...

 

Sooo....

 

he said he couldn't call me tonight before he leaves again tomorrow because he left his cell phone at work... I'm like, ummm... what about the other one?

 

Yes, I can go to his house... and have been there many times.

 

Yes, he texts and emails me at all hours of all days...

 

Last week he wrote saying we needed to go out of town together for a long weekend, tonight he said youngest will be taking his weekends because the days will be spent at the mother's house. He leaves again in August for fab trip with said child as well.

 

I get all of that. He is a devoted father... but someone once told me (a man about this guy's age): a man who is really into a lady, will give up his child for the woman - to which I was LIVID because I'd not want that kind of man... yet, here I am feeling like 5th wheel on 4 wheel trailer.

 

Am I the only one seeing a teensy red flag here? Am I just too insecure?

 

Everything he says, tells me he is into me when we're together and that he really digs me... except for the no... bedroom interaction... which I'm fine with too... despite it being 3 months now

 

help? thoughts? (he's 50ish, I'm 40ish)

[teabee]

No bedroom interaction? Well he's not using you for sex at least. I would think he is telling the truth when he tells you how much he digs you.

 

I think he's just moving more slowly. He is a busy man with work, has a kid, and has ex issues. He probably hit the nail on the head when he said the 2 of you are at different points in your lives. You might be ready to see things developing a lot more at 3 months, whereas his expectations are different, but he doesn't seem to like you any less than you like him. That's my read on all this, at least.

[Hopelives]

Thank you.

 

He seems SOOOooo incredibly decent and warm and friendly and good God we talk about everything for hours...

 

It was me who said we might be at different points in our lives.

 

How do I stop feeling like a 5th wheel?

 

I do have a life outside of him... it is not nearly as busy, obviously but it is not me sitting at home on the sofa eating bon-bons...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I remember responding to your other thread...this thread does nothing to change my mind about how this guy is messing you about. At 50 years old does he not have a land line where he can call you from. I think the twenty-something generation relies solely on cell phones but this man is of the land line generation so I hardly believe that he communicates strictly via cell phone. This man is all talk...he talks big and then bails on you and disappoints you. I really think you should walk away from him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Thank you.

 

He seems SOOOooo incredibly decent and warm and friendly and good God we talk about everything for hours...

 

It was me who said we might be at different points in our lives.

 

How do I stop feeling like a 5th wheel?

 

I do have a life outside of him... it is not nearly as busy, obviously but it is not me sitting at home on the sofa eating bon-bons...

 

He might SEEM that way...but many people can fake warmth and chattiness and be cold fishes at heart. As a successful professional who travels a lot, he is well versed in how to charm people and be outgoing and funny and chatty. He is basically using his well-practiced business personna in the dating world. The reality of this relationship is that he is non-committal, says one thing and then backs out, is still looking for other women and is probably dating them as well. I also suspect that this kind of behaviour is the reason why his ex despises him.....although I bet he painted her as some kind of witch. This man is passive aggressive....he uses subtle means to pull the rug out from under you.